Asked to be a Bridesmaid - oh and told to lose more weight????

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So good friend is getting married again and asked me to be a Bridesmaid. I was delighted at first until she said she was ordering my dress in a size 12 as that was what all the other Bridesmaid were and it would be a nice motivation to lose weight.... Now there is some context to this which I'm really trying to hold on to to give her the benefit of the doubt. I've lost almost 4 stone in the last 6 months. I've not made a big song and dance about it, or really talked much about it but I suppose it is very noticeable. I am now a decent size 14 - if I was buying a bridesmaid dress my guess would be I'd need a 16 (apparently you always aim to buy a bit bigger based on the material??). I'm really trying to see this as a very poor attempt to be supportive of this journey and assumes that I want to lose more weight. She has a habit of getting quite wrapped up in things and being a bit blinkered but isn't normally an unkind person. Truth is, I'm 5ft9 and really quite happy with how I am now. Or I was that is - suddenly and instantly I feel like the 'fat friend' again - that I'm not quite good enough yet... We were in a group when she said it and a few or the others raised there eyebrows but the conversation moved on and I just ignored it at the time. AIBU to go back to speak to her about this - actually I don't think I am - the better question is how to I approach it without feeling more upset/ humiliated?

Well done on your weight loss!

I am also 5ft 9ins and usually a size 14 (depending on shop/brand). I have also lost a very significant amount of weight this year. If a friend had done this to me I would be quite offended TBH.

If we're working on the assumption that the bridesmaid dress will need to be one size larger than your usual dress size, she's basically telling you that you need to be a size 10. That is rude however she puts it. As a friend, she should be congratulating you on how fabulous you no doubt look now and asking you which size you would like her to order!

If you asked for a size 12, then I think she would be reasonable to expect you to try and fit in to it in time. She is being incredibly insensitive to make that decision for you however.

Well done on an amazing weight loss!! You should feel really proud. Incidentally, my DD was a bridesmaid last year, and came home from the dress shop nearly in tears as she's a size 10/12 but had to have a size 16 dress as it was strapless and measured very very small. So anyone who orders a dress without the person trying it in is taking a very silly gamble as they are non returnable usually. I'd point out what a big risk she's taking without any of you trying them on for sizing tbh........

Whyyyyyy do people do this? In any case, people look so much "fatter" if they're stuffed into clothes which are too small rather than things which are correctly sized!

This would be the end of the friendship for me.

Well done for doing so well. But personally I think that's an awful thing to say. I wouldn't dream of making comments about a persons size or weight.
If it was me I'd have to wish them all the best for the wedding and not go.

Conratulations on all that weight loss, and on your healthy body image and life now. You sound like you've got it down. Don't let this insensitive comment ruin your success.

You do though, need to try Bridesmaid dresses on, or at least know if they "come up small" as some brands and materials do.

I wouldn't be surprised if on of the Size 12 bridesmaids needs a 14 or 16 - it's really not an exact science. And an expensive mistake if she gets it wrong.

I'd be telling her in no uncertain terms that she'll have to find another brides maid to fawn over her.
There is no way in hell, anyone would dictate to me what to do with my body, and what size I should be.
Congrats on your weight loss.

Bridesmaid dresses are sized the same as everything else, so if you're a 14 in normal clothes, you will just need a 14.

I'm in two minds about your friend. Part of me thinks "what a cunty thing to say, I'd tell her to fuck off". But then you've lost masses of weight in the last few months and she must have seen you dropping dress sizes every 5 minutes, so maybe she just assumed that trend would continue and thought that ordering one dress size down from where you are would be sensible, rather than ordering for your current size only for it to be too big when the day comes. Why don't you just tell her you've finished losing weight now and you are a size 14, which is what you'll be staying at. Then she can order you the right size dress. If she says something like "but all the others will be a 12" or something stupid, tell her to fuck off it's a size 14 dress or you won't be going.

Well done on the weight loss. 4 stone is bloody amazing, and the fitness and running is an achievement in itself as well.