To think that most women (especially at work) don't want other women to lose weight?

[bumblebee50]

I work in an environment with mostly females. There's always someone on a diet and a couple of them are currently going to slimming clubs. Everyone excitedly asks on a Wednesday how much weight was lost and if someone says I didn't lose anything or lost half a pound the response is always sympathetic. However, I can't help thinking that a lot of women don't want other women to get to their target weight as it makes them feel slightly adequate. Am I completely off the mark?

Honestly, I've never actually cared about the weight of my colleagues. My view of them is based on how they are to work with, not their dress size. I'll be happy for them if they reach a goal they are happy with in themselves other than that I couldn't care less.

Yes, you're completely off the mark.

I couldn't care less. I just switch off from all that diet talk. It bores me to insanity.

So you think all women are passively aggressively wanting other women to fail and be unhappy with thier bodies?

I pay no attention to diet talk, but if a colleague was happy she had lost weight, i would be pleased for her. Why on earth wouldn't I be?

Say what?

It depends on the person, I imagine.

Some people will be happy for others who manage to do things that they can't and some will feel inadequate or even jealous.

Not just on the subject of weight, but just about anything.

I genuinely don't care how much weight other people lose or put on. I'm happy for people when they are happy for themselves. But my own weight is not in any way linked to anyone else's- I feel far too fat ( I am definitely overweight) at the moment but no one else's weight changes affect how I feel about myself.

But why do you think this? You haven't given any reason for that opinion

Either you are off the mark or you work somewhere totally weird.

Strange thread
Very strange
I don't care what my colleagues weigh or how much weight they've lost
I've worked in mostly female workforces for over 25 years and I've never notice that anyone else cares either
I think you've just got weird work coleages

I want all the women around me to feel happy in their skin, whatever their size of shape. If that means losing a bit of weight then great, I'll cheer them on too and mean it. I'm happy and secure, why wouldn't I want the same for those around me too?

It's just some of the comments that get made. Someone actually made a comment to me along the lines of "I did that diet and I lost loads of weight - I don't see much difference in you though".

What a horrible thought.

Most of the people in my office - women and men - go to the gym or run or do sports & we all encourage each other. We all eat cake together too.

That's a rather misogonistic viewpoint, don't you think? Do you really believe most women are so insecure that they need other women to fail to make them feel better about themselves?

However, I can't help thinking that a lot of women don't want other women to get to their target weight as it makes them feel slightly adequate.

Ok well that's a bit of a bitchy comment. Don't see how that equates to a lot of women not wanting others to lose weight though. There'll always be one or two unsupportive types but who cares about them!

I have really never given a second thought to my colleagues - male or female - and their weight loss. I certainly couldn't say I have worked in an environment where people actively don't want their female colleagues to lose weight. That sounds bizarre and rather immature.

I couldn't care less. If anybody says they're on a diet, I'm kind of supportive in that I wouldn't sabotage them.

Is it only me who finds it weird that work colleagues go to a slimming club together and discuss their weigh ins at work? I am oldish and have worked in loads of different places yet I have never experienced that.

I did work with a 'feeder' once but she had serious issues!

I'll tell you one thing - nothing and I mean NOTHING bores me as much as listening to my colleagues discuss their weight and faddy diets.

I immediately just switch off

Maybe it's just the women at my work then. You get the feeders who constantly bring things in to eat. There's also a few who make some disparaging comments about someone being a bit chunky. Maybe it says more about them then.

As long as they are healthy I don't mind what weight people at work are!
As long as they are happy and healthy meaning they can do their jobs, that is the main thing!

I suspect some people do feel like this, about other things too, but it won't be most people (I hope) and men can feel that way too. In terms of weight and women; in our society an awful lot of pressure is placed on women in to look good and it's almost as if our value is connected to how attractive we are perceieved to be - perhaps this is evolutionary even. On the other hand I can imagine a man feeling put out by another doing better at bulking out in the gym for example, but we'd be far more empathetic about him feeling inadequate than the women who hasn't lost as much weight. So yes maybe there is a feeling of competition for some women when it comes to appearance but we could also be more open and accepting of this fact to minimise the impact.