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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to expect an apology from my PIL?

87 replies

halflife · 11/02/2007 16:17

My PIL and I had a ridiculously petty argument over something. I snapped at him, then when I tried to walk into his house, he pushed me back so I couldn't get in. We had this vaguely comical (not actually at all funny at the time) situation where I was trying to get into the house (holding my baby ds) and he was shoving me back out of the door. He was furious. This was about 6 weeks ago and I just can't get over it. My dh has spoken to him about it but he denied it and they ended up having a big row . We are supposed to go round there for lunch next week and I just do not want to go.

Help! It is unreasonable to expect an apology?

OP posts:
HeartOnMyGreensleeve · 11/02/2007 16:52

Please tell me they weren't called Butch and Rover [whock]

HeartOnMyGreensleeve · 11/02/2007 16:52

I meant not [whock]

kimi · 11/02/2007 16:54

no they wernt, my cats are called moulder and scully, although as child i did have a dog called scamp

Original poster
halflife · 11/02/2007 16:55

so what shall I do now?

I hate confrontation - but don't want to stew and stew over this until it bursts out at some compltely inappropriate time...

OP posts:
kimi · 11/02/2007 16:57

could you write them aletter tellin hem how you feel?

Muminfife · 11/02/2007 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
halflife · 11/02/2007 18:10

he pushed me with his fat stomach as well (hence: "I didn't lay a finger on her")

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 11/02/2007 18:19

Are they actually aware that in an altercation with a dog, the cat will almost always come out the victor and the dog will run away like a wuss? Sounds like they were being a bit precious.

However. As you and dh know that they have an issue with your dog, it was wrong to take it there without telling them. Whether dh thinks it's pathetic or not, it's a matter of courtesy to let them know what to expect. And if he won't ring them, you should. It's basic manners.

I think you both ought to apologise - you owe them an apology for taking the dog unannounced, and as they're usually nice people it wouldn't hurt you to try and patch things up. Just apologise, ask for one from them if you really want to, and move on.

Original poster
halflife · 11/02/2007 18:57

Have decided to remain icy and never mention it again

OP posts:
edam · 11/02/2007 19:02

Yeah, right, Wigwam.

Friends of my family turned up unannounced with their three rotten dogs once. Very upsetting for our cats who fled and wouldn't come down from the top of the wardrobe for hours...

But your FIL is an arse. How dare he push you? Esp. while holding your baby? And with his fat belly too. Yuck.

fruitful · 11/02/2007 19:14

How fantastic that someone has written a book called "toxic parents-in-law!". What a marvellous title. When my kids grow up and get married I'm going to have to hunt for it on their bookshelves...

Muminfife · 11/02/2007 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Helendee · 13/10/2020 13:24

You are both to blame and need to apologise to each other.
Why did you take your dog round? Surely you knew it would cause trouble.

TidyDancer · 13/10/2020 13:25

This was 13 years ago @Helendee. Do you think the OP still needs advice?

ZOMBIE THREAD.

Helendee · 13/10/2020 13:35

@TidyDancer

I have better things to do than check the date of every thread.
What’s it doing up with current threads anyway?

LavaCake · 13/10/2020 13:36

Being annoyed about the dog did not give your FIL an excuse to push you, least of all while you were holding a baby. That was totally unacceptable. And why was he only taking it out on you when it was clearly your husband’s decision as well to bring the dog?

I wouldn’t be going back to their house without an apology either.

LavaCake · 13/10/2020 13:37

Eurgh there should be an automatic ban for posters who resurrect dead threads 😒

TidyDancer · 13/10/2020 13:38

@Helendee you have the time to write out a post but not read the date? Okay. 😂

anuffername · 13/10/2020 13:39

I wouldn’t be going back to their house without an apology either.

They've probably moved past it in the 13 years since it happened.

OldEvilOwl · 13/10/2020 13:40

so what shall I do now?

Don't go there for lunch

OldEvilOwl · 13/10/2020 13:40

oh FFS!

anuffername · 13/10/2020 13:41

What’s it doing up with current threads anyway?

YOU resurrected it.
Last post before yours is 2007.

MaskingForIt · 13/10/2020 13:42

Help! It is unreasonable to expect an apology?

Apologising is something that we teach our children about and expect them to do, but it is very rarely modelled by adults. Apologising means admitting you were in the wrong, and the dynamic between two adults means that is unlikely.

Let’s face it, how often are childhood apologies sincere and not just a way of pacifying the adults and moving on.

Helendee · 13/10/2020 13:59

The thread was already up there with current threads so I assumed it was as well.

Hardly crime of the century though is it? 😁

Helendee · 13/10/2020 14:00

@TidyDancer

I have plenty of time thanks but little inclination.