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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dicks at safari parks...?

82 replies

QueenArseClangers · 31/10/2016 13:57

At a lovely kid's party at the local safari park we got chatting to the lady giving the minibus tour.
Apparently, virtually every day, the keepers have to stop/tell people to not open their windows or get out in the enclosures

Are people really this ignorant? The staff said they often have to convince visitors that getting out of their vehicles to pet/feed the animals is not a good idea and the lions are NOT tame like domestic cats!
Aibu to be rather gobsmacked at the frequency of dickish behaviour like this?

OP posts:

2kids2dogsnosense · 31/10/2016 15:40

saw a woman get quite viciously attacked by an ostritch (or emu possibly) there - she not only had the window down, she had lured it over with a bag of QUAVERS

Reminds me of a report I read about some woman who required rapid and urgent Ranger intervention in (I think it was) Yellowstone Park.

Not only was she out of the car, with her offspring, but was smearing jam on her son's face so she could get a picture of the bears licking it off. (!)

How some people are able even to breathe in and out without and instruction video amazes me.

unexpsoc · 31/10/2016 15:46

Sqoosh and exploradora pack it in with the wotsits crap. Can't believe people are still sharing this rubbish on the internet. It's quavers all the way. Honest to god. Typical bloody wotsitters.

unexpsoc · 31/10/2016 15:47

"smearing jam on her son's face so she could get a picture of the bears licking it off."

Holy shit. Shouldn't be on here in work hours. Confuses people when you laugh out loud at your desk for apparently no reason.

YouTheCat · 31/10/2016 15:48

I think you'll find it's actually salt and vinegar Discos.

2kids2dogsnosense · 31/10/2016 15:48

saw a woman get quite viciously attacked by an ostritch (or emu possibly) there - she not only had the window down, she had lured it over with a bag of QUAVERS.

She sounds like a fool. Everyone knows ostriches prefer Wotsits.

No doubt that's why it was so angry ("Hey - what the f- . . .? QUAVERS!!!! Fucking QUAVERS!? Get the f- " furious pecking )

RubbishMantra · 31/10/2016 15:54

Ahh, this brings back good memories of Longleat, which we lived close to when I was a little child. How my sisters and I guffawed, waving bananas at the Baboons, who would scamper over to the car, waving their bright red bottoms at us whilst simultaneously ripping off the car windscreen wipers. whilst my father's face went the same colour as the baboons' bottoms

Best one was when my sis took a photo of a Giraffe having a ginormous piss. Like a waterfall it was!

I'm a bit at the Tapir snaky willy waving. A bit like their noses. But longer.

WankingMonkey · 31/10/2016 15:56

My kind of thread...or I thought so until I read the OP

RubbishMantra · 31/10/2016 15:56

*...Glad I wasn't born a lady Tapir.

raspberrysuicide · 31/10/2016 15:58

A bit like the people in the New Forest who decided to sit their toddler on a pony!
A young pony who promptly ran off and the child fell off not surprisingly.

WankingMonkey · 31/10/2016 15:59

It really is tempting to take all the signs down and not say anything - sign me up for Darwinism as well. If they truly cannot figure out for themselves that prodding a lion with a short stick is a shortcut to a mauling, they DESERVE to be removed from the gene pool. We'd be better off without them, surely?

I would go with this, if not for the fact that for every idiot who gets mauled, an animal will be put down/shot

squoosh · 31/10/2016 15:59

The tapir's willy is mesmerising. Tapir ladies must have very accommodating vaginas indeed.

JellyBelli · 31/10/2016 16:00

Female tapirs are a hollow tube. Its the only explanation that makes any sense.

YouTheCat · 31/10/2016 16:01

I think the animals should be given some kind of reward for services to evolution.

2kids2dogsnosense · 31/10/2016 16:01

squoosh

And I bet they are always smiling

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 31/10/2016 16:02

Ah the great British public...

squoosh · 31/10/2016 16:03

Female tapir.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 31/10/2016 16:28

This reminds me of a story my Aunt told me.
She and her husband thought it would be a nice treat to take my Grandpa and Grandma on a nice trip out to the zoo. I forget which one it was, but it was the kind we're talking about where you drive through.
My Aunt explains the rules and off they go and are enjoying the view. Shortly after they've gone in they see a ranger in a car trying to get their attention. He looked, in her words, very pissed off. She did not believe it was anything she was doing so ignored it at first, but then changed her mind.
My bloody Grandpa not only has wound the window down, but is hanging out of the window in order to get a better picture of the tigers in the enclosure.
My Aunt ripped a strip off him for being so stupid and my Grandma responded by saying "Ah leave him alone, he's having a nice time."

But that anecdote pretty much sums up my Grandpa.

unexpsoc · 31/10/2016 16:32

cigars - it sounds like your Grandma had a very large insurance policy out on your grandpa too.

squoosh · 31/10/2016 16:34

Typical bloody wotsitters.

Better that than a quivering Quaverer!

StrangeLookingParasite · 31/10/2016 16:37

Female tapirs are a hollow tube. Its the only explanation that makes any sense.

Stop it, Squoosh, I'm having to laugh silently to avoid having to explain...

MissHooliesCardigan · 31/10/2016 16:38

Boffin Do you think you may need help with your tapir penis fixation? although I have to admit there is something rather mesmerising about them

limitedperiodonly · 31/10/2016 17:12

I was in the lion enclosure in Longleat and had pulled up on a layby on the slight bend in the track so my husband could photograph some lions snoozing by a tree about 100 feet away. It was an official photography spot and he kept the window closed.

A family who'd broken down were towed past us by keepers in a Land Rover. The keepers passed us but the towed car just ploughed into me. Before I really knew what was happening, the man got out of the passenger seat to talk to me.

Those lions went from lying on their backs with their legs in the air to alert and hungry in a split second. One of the keepers jumped out with a rifle and the lions stayed put, they must know what a rifle is. He was yelling at the bloke to get back in the car and us to stay inside - we weren't going anyway. I didn't even crack the window open an inch.

I followed them to the exit to exchange details and the keeper was really annoyed. It turned out that his wife didn't have a licence but they'd decided to swap seats to give her a bit of driving practice on private land. In a fucking lions' den.

His major worry wasn't that he'd narrowly escaped being torn to shreds in front of us and his children, but that I wouldn't shop him to his insurance company for swapping seats.

girlsyearapart · 31/10/2016 17:29

laiste we went on Wednesday and the safari car sped off twice to go after idiots.

InformalRoman · 31/10/2016 17:44

We've had a wild baboon have a good go at opening the door (it was locked, so not only was he wild, he was livid, boom boom).

Also seen a guy with a huge movie camera trying to get up close and personal with a rhino whilst his wife delicately inched the car along beside him. I suspect a pissed off rhino would be able to run faster than a fat American with a movie camera ...

FurryLittleTwerp · 31/10/2016 17:44

There was something on the news recently about an African safari park - someone jumped out a car after an argument & was killed by a cute pussy cat lion.

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