Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To keep dd off school for the day for this?

67 replies

NapQueen · 30/10/2016 23:58

Aged 4, in Reception, and ages ago I'd booked tickets for us for a ballet performance at the theatre. It's aimed at you get kids and quite short. However the only day it was on is a Friday term time.

Will the teacher be pissed off if I keep her off? I don't want to lie but I also don't want any Ill feeling.

I could take her for registration but then would need to collect her at 10 am anyways.

OP posts:

Yakitori · 31/10/2016 10:01

It's not true that "anything other than medical" will be an unauthorised absence. DD1 was given two days authorised absence to take part in a (non-school) dance competition.

AliceInUnderpants · 31/10/2016 10:14

Oh yeah do it, she'll love it.

My kids were out of school on Friday as we went for an overnight city trip - we went to a theatre and two museums. I just wrote a note to the secretary saying they wouldn't be in.
Last term the headteacher authorised a day off for my DC2 just so we could spend some time together one on one whilst eldest was at a residential. He thought it was a fantastic idea.

TheUterati · 31/10/2016 10:20

If you keep her off, you need to be upfront about why. You can't expect a 4 year old to lie and say she was ill that day (even if she was able to manage it and not tell all her friends what a wonderful time she had). Plus instructing her to lie would be a really bad message to give her.

I don't know what I'd do TBH. I don't believe in missing school unless there is a really, really good reason, as I think it sends out the wrong message. School is important and children need to know that they have to commit to going, it's not something that can be overturned if something better comes along. But we took DD out of Reception for 3 days to attend her grandfather's 90th birthday party (GPs live abroad). Was that a good enough reason? For us it was: it may well be the last time she gets to see him, and we went for the shortest time possible. A 'normal' holiday wouldn't have been good enough reason.

Does she know about the tickets? That would be a factor - I wouldn't want to have promised her a treat, and then take it away from her.

hmcAsWas · 31/10/2016 10:22

Throw a sickie and avoid the hassle.

FauxFox · 31/10/2016 10:23

I would...but if it's a Friday in December you may want to check it isn't the class xmas party/carol service/nativity etc as there are potentially a lot of things she wouldn't want to miss out on.

BastardGoDarkly · 31/10/2016 10:33

Seriously, don't lie about her being ill... Monday morning teacher will ask, are you feeling better? Or Dd will just go on about the ballet, and it's not necessary

Last year i had a training day, and just wouldn't be able to work pick up and drop off, so kept dd off with childminders, i told school what was happening, they never batted an eye.

nennyrainbow · 31/10/2016 10:46

If she's 4, it doesn't count towards the school's absence figures ( which are looked at by Ofsted and taken into account when deciding how well schools are performing) so the school shouldn't mind. I would be honest with them - say it's a special treat, one-off event.

ExtraMushroomsPlease · 31/10/2016 10:53

I would definitely, she's 4 and will love the ballet and a day with mummy. As she's not by law required to be at school, I would have no hesitations!

thecolonelbumminganugget · 31/10/2016 10:54

Agree with the person who said it up thread. There's no way a 4 year old can be relied upon to be complicit in any white lie you tell to the school. Honesty is the only policy about why she won't be there. Enjoy the ballet!

maddiemookins16mum · 31/10/2016 10:58

Tell the teacher, let her wear her prettiest dress, go and enjoy the ballet. It's the little things like this that create lovely memories.

Dancergirl · 31/10/2016 11:01

What a lot of fuss!

Just take her OP, if they don't authorise it it's not the end of the world.

I've taken my older dc out of school to see a children's Shakespeare production.

Have a lovely time.

Permanentlyexhausted · 31/10/2016 11:07

Be honest. Email the head and say you are hoping to take your DD to the ballet and that you feel this is an educational opportunity you'd like her to experience. She's 4 so there is no legal requirement for her to be at school.

I recently requested permission to take both my children out of school to go to the theatre as I felt it was a valid educational experience (that was the reason I gave in my email). I took them in for registration and picked them up mid-morning. Secondary turned a blind eye for my 12 year old. Primary school gave me explicit permission for Year 6 child. The theatre was full of primary school kids on school trips, proving my point that it was an educational experience - just one that my DD's school had not provided.

carefreeeee · 31/10/2016 11:07

Surprised at all the people saying they'd lie! I guess these are the same people having random "sick" days whenever they feel like it and letting their colleagues take up the slack!

Having a day off for something really beneficial = not a problem and won't harm child

Lying about it = really bad example and may harm child when she gets found out!

MrsJayy · 31/10/2016 11:10

I never lied when i kept my dds off school it really is pointless it is encouraging them to be deceptive imo

Lemon12345 · 31/10/2016 11:13

Take her but don't lie. Any caring teacher will always ask if they are feeling better.
I agree in some ways that it's not a good message to send to DD that school can be ignored for better offers, but it's you who is making that decision. Your not asking your child if they want to miss school for x, y or z. You are doing it and as an adult who typically sends your child full time when she doesn't have to go and are here asking opinions I don't see this becoming a frequent thing, and doubt you will be doing it in future years.

AlpacaPicnic · 31/10/2016 12:43

My mom surprised me and my brother with a trip to the cinema to see Santa Claus the Movie (ages self) when I was in my first year of school. I remember the magic of the day with great fondness. I had no idea we were supposed to be in school that day until afterwards but I remember the lovely day we had together.

Iloveunicorncuddles · 31/10/2016 12:51

At 4 I took my child out of school to go to an amusement park for the day. Told the teacher and office and they both told us to have a wonderful time.

Flip

1 2 3