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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep dd off school for the day for this?

67 replies

NapQueen · 30/10/2016 23:58

Aged 4, in Reception, and ages ago I'd booked tickets for us for a ballet performance at the theatre. It's aimed at you get kids and quite short. However the only day it was on is a Friday term time.

Will the teacher be pissed off if I keep her off? I don't want to lie but I also don't want any Ill feeling.

I could take her for registration but then would need to collect her at 10 am anyways.

OP posts:

EveOnline2016 · 31/10/2016 00:51

Btw it sounds a lovely time to spend 1-1 with your dd.

DramaQueenofHighCs · 31/10/2016 01:04

There's more to life than school and the ammount she will learn from an experience like going to a ballet is PRICELESS! Take her!

I know this is purely annecdotal evidence, but I missed many days of school from age 7 to 18 going to various drama, music and dance things (admittedly mist of them were performing, but even many of those were competitions so I did my 'class' then watched the rest) and I turned out ok!

littleblackno · 31/10/2016 01:12

I did similar when ds was in reception. I took him out of school for a day to be able to go to the theatre. He loved it.
I have no issue with taking kids out for for an event or occasion that they wouldn't otherwise be able to do. I think it gives a more rounded education.

Fuckingitup · 31/10/2016 01:13

My eldest son when year 1 had a random cry about various things one morning at the end of Christmas term and his teacher said we're not doing much work so I could take him home. I was really taken aback. It was so kind and sensible. We went into town and had a treat day doing Christmassy things. Exactly what he needed at the time.

Not really relevant!

I'd take her. Sounds like a lovely day.

KoalaDownUnder · 31/10/2016 01:19

In Australia, it is common for kids to miss days off school and even weeks

Exactly! The rigidity about school attendance in the UK astonishes me.

A 4-year-old missing school for one day should not even raise an eyebrow.

Kerberos · 31/10/2016 01:36

I would take her out for it. Be truthful with the school. they'll probably be unable to authorise it but it can go down as unauthorised. Wouldn't even give it a second thought. Sounds like a lovely idea to me :)

HicDraconis · 31/10/2016 02:27

I have taken my boys out of school for a variety of reasons over the last few years - one day was a Friday, and my younger son yawned his way downstairs, was really too tired to eat his eggs and looked terrible, so I packed him back off to bed where he promptly slept til lunchtime. He wasn't ill, I just rang the absence line to let his school know and said he was exhausted and having a day off to sleep it off. They thought it was an excellent idea. No medical history, just needed a duvet day.

I've taken them out for holidays back to the UK to visit family, I've taken them out on a Friday because we were travelling down to a sporting event for the weekend (5+h drive, we wanted to leave at lunchtime), I am sure I will take them out other days. Certainly until they are in intermediate or senior school anyway. Other parents have the odd day here and there for skiing in the winter, the local ski field is much quieter in the week.

Strangely none of the children have struggled on their return to school with the work that they have missed, none of them are particularly behind with any particular area (to be fair, most of them are in various extension and accelerant classes) and the teachers are very relaxed about it. For the long holiday I was just asked to sign a form stating that they would be returning to school and on which date. No fines, no stress, teachers very enthusiastic about the trip (and my older boy did a photo diary which he presented to his class when he got back).

I cannot believe how rigid the UK is about insisting children are in school from such a young age and for such a long day. I'd take your daughter out OP, you'll have a lovely day and I don't think it will have any bearing on her GCSE results at all.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/10/2016 02:32

It's all well and good and commendable wanting to be an Honest Horace, However.
There's no way they're going up authorise your dd's absence because you want to take her to the theatre. Children just about get authorisation for medical appointments now, so in a nut shell. You'll just have to tell a white lie

Overshoulderbolderholder · 31/10/2016 02:57

No point in telling a white lie.. Odds are your DD will tell her teacher all about on her return to school on Monday

Yakitori · 31/10/2016 03:18

I would seek an authorised absence. The school may be able to record it as "educated off site".

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/10/2016 05:18

I thought after the recent legal hearing, school couldn't impose sanctions as long as the child is regularly at school. In any case, as other posters have pointed out, the school cannot contemplate enforcing such sanctions as your dd is not yet 5. So go and tell them the truth. They can't stop you or tell you you're doing anything "wrong".

temporarilyjerry · 31/10/2016 05:23

Will the teacher be pissed off if I keep her off?

If a lo in my class was going to the ballet, I'd say, "How lovely!"

If you lied and said she was sick, I'd be

hesterton · 31/10/2016 05:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JensenAcklesUndercrackers · 31/10/2016 09:24

No point lying and saying LO is sick as, if they are anything like mine, they will be telling all their friends about what they did that day.
It's one day, it's not going to have a major impact on her education so just tell the school the truth and suck up an unauthorised absence if you have to.

NoahVale · 31/10/2016 09:25

just tell the truth and ask permission, if they dont give it, it will be an unauthorized absence.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 31/10/2016 09:28

They won't be able to give permission but you don't need it, she's four. Just tell the teacher. I wouldn't lie, she'll tell them all about the ballet and Santa on Monday anyway.

Have a lovely time.

intravenouscoffee · 31/10/2016 09:31

And btw there's no point claiming that someone else bought the tickets. Teachers hear this all the time and aren't fooled. Best to be upfront and risk upsetting her teacher.

LyndaNotLinda · 31/10/2016 09:32

This is what I've emailed when I've taken DS out of school for non-medical reasons:

"Dear Mrs X,

Just to let you know that LittleLynda won't be in school this Friday as I am taking him to see a ballet. I am aware the school is unable to authorise term-time absences for anything other than medical reasons so understand this will be considered as unauthorised.

Best wishes,

Lynda"

MrsJayy · 31/10/2016 09:36

Just take her do the 'oh silly me bought the tickets for a friday' its not the end of her world it is 1 day you wont get authorised but if you tell the truth and not say she is ill then she wont tell teacher she was watching dancing.

allowlsthinkalot · 31/10/2016 09:42

My dd is four and in Reception and I only send her two days a week. She's below Compulsory School Age.

Yoarchie · 31/10/2016 09:42

You should definitely just email in saying she has a temperature. It will be a Friday, she will not realise she did a 4 day week at school instead of a 5 day week. By Monday when she goes back, she will have lost all track of which was Friday or Saturday so she won't even blab. Don't tell her she's missing school even.

The reason is that the absence will almost certainly be unauthorised and even if her teacher is happy for her to have this nice day, the school can't authorise it and their unauthorised absence stats go up. It's a can of modern day worms and the only way round it, keeping all the modern boxes ticked is to fib.

allowlsthinkalot · 31/10/2016 09:43

It doesn't need to be authorised as children below csa don't count in attendance figures. There is a separate code for the register.

allowlsthinkalot · 31/10/2016 09:44

The code is code X and means "not required to attend"

nocampinghere · 31/10/2016 09:56

just phone in sick. easier all round.
she won't be in til monday - don't even mention it to her. the teacher won't ask !

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2016 10:00

Just take her.

But don't blame the grandparents. I work with school attendance officers and grandparents get the blame for booking everything

It really is the equivalent of 'The dog ate my homework'.

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