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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect an engagement ring, after 10 years and 2 children for Valentines....

63 replies

CurlyN · 10/02/2007 23:11

or even something really nice, like rose petals up the stairs... or 12 red roses.. a suprise. something that I don't have to hint at would be wonderful. a sign...please

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 10/02/2007 23:52

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BandofMothers · 10/02/2007 23:54

His surname went better with the names!!
icod are you a bit pissed aswell? or pissing about??

FluffyMummy123 · 10/02/2007 23:54

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expatinscotland · 10/02/2007 23:55

Um, okay, Band.

Think what you like.

That to me isn't romance, it's thoughfulness.

Cod, of course I agree with you.

My only first cousin on my mother's side has two sons with his 'partner'.

I asked her, 'Why aren't you and Jeff married?'

She said, 'He's too immature for me to marry him.'

Oh, but you'll have two kids w/him?

WTF?

Then you can never get rid of him!

If you got married, no kids, and it all went pear-shaped, you could divorce him and never see him again.

But kids? HUGE commitment.

FluffyMummy123 · 10/02/2007 23:55

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FluffyMummy123 · 10/02/2007 23:55

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expatinscotland · 10/02/2007 23:56

Yeah, if I wanted to marry someone, and he didn't. He'd have been dumped long before we had children together.

My mum and dad have been married 42 years.

They went out for 2 years before marrying and had a year long engagement.

I asked my mum, 'What would you have done if Daddy hadn't asked to marry you?'

She didn't miss a beat.

'I'd have found someone else to marry.'

FluffyMummy123 · 10/02/2007 23:57

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expatinscotland · 10/02/2007 23:57

TBH, the one guy I went out with who did stuff like run me a bath, was a lying, cheating, verbally abusive scumbag who tried to use me for my father's money.

The very thought puts me off now.

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 10/02/2007 23:58

must say the nicest ring I ever got was my wedding band...and my dh never even paid for that, lol...it is his Birthmohters ring (she died when he was a Kid and his grandmother kept the ring, and even though he had been married before me, it was me who got the ring...which sort of was acceptance into the family....

BandofMothers · 10/02/2007 23:59

Yes it's thoughtful, but it's romantic too.
I don't want to marry him, yet!
I don't think it's necessary to be married nowadays, and if it goes pearshaped it can be messy and expensive.
We've both been married before, and if it doesn't change things then why bother?

BandofMothers · 11/02/2007 00:03

I wouldn't want to marry someone who's doing it only cos he's pressured. And I don't need to be married to him to know he loves me

expatinscotland · 11/02/2007 00:05

I agree w/that bit, I wouldn't marry someone who was doing it under duress.

B/c there are plenty of blokes who don't need that.

BandofMothers · 11/02/2007 00:07

He's said from the start that he wants to marry me, but I don't think it's necessary. I like things the way they are. And his surname really is nicer than mine.

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 00:07

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expatinscotland · 11/02/2007 00:10

Flowers really are a waste of money unless they're illegally picked or he grew them himself .

3LoveHeartsAndNoMore · 11/02/2007 00:10

lol, cod it was curly that started the thread

BandofMothers · 11/02/2007 00:12

CurlyN wants a ring for V-day!
And I wasn't really talking about me until you started jumping on me. Did you read the thread?

BandofMothers · 11/02/2007 00:14

That's right expat, you're not allowed to pick wild flowers now are you. Better keep a closer eye on dd1 next time in park.

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 08:11

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Bozza · 11/02/2007 08:55

I do sort of agree with cod. I think 10 years and 2 children is a bit far down the line. I would have insisted on the marriage before the children personally.

And as for "it being expensive it goes messy and pearshaped" - would it not be expensive if you split up with having children, a house, car etc? Well maybe not as expensive for him. Also what about yorkiegirl's point about widow's benefit if the worst does happen.

FluffyMummy123 · 11/02/2007 08:57

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noddyholder · 11/02/2007 09:05

Why do people get so hung up on ridiculous commercial events which are promoted purely to take your money.It is not in the least bit romantic to force someone by hinting heavily to buy flowers or marry you That is something that comes from within a person and cannot be timed to coincide with bloody valentines day.If you have to drop hints?Well work it out yourself.My ds is 12/13 and valentines day is for them really and for people to send cards in secret to someone thwey fancy And rose petals up the stairs?Are you serious

Bozza · 11/02/2007 09:15

But otoh DH has announced that he hasn't yet bought me a card. So I am hardly expecting a big romantic gesture.

And, cod, yuk at this time in the morning. I have sent my DCs to the grandparents overnight so I can just mumsnet without people wanting a kiss - DH obviously not because he is still in bed.

BandofMothers · 11/02/2007 11:40

s'OKAY COD, WAS A BIT PISSED MYSELF LAST NIGHT.
Oops caps lock on. Dd2 having a random bash at the keyboard.