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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU.... to not want a reception at my wedding?

64 replies

Bellyrub1980 · 30/10/2016 07:54

My perfect wedding is this...

I (the bride!) arrive at the venue (a large one room venue, like a hall of some kind) with my dad and bridesmaids at around 5/6PM. All the guests are there (day and evening guests, in a 'traditional' sense) We have the ceremony. Then, straight after saying the vows it immediately turns into a huge party with a band, buffet, hog roast etc. Briefly interrupted by the first dance, cutting the cake, throwing the bouquet and all that jazz.

But no formal reception with speeches.

What's the general consensus? Because this is what I'd reallly like and I'm getting some funny looks when I suggest it to people IRL.

Also, would wedding venues be up for this idea???

OP posts:

GerdaLovesLili · 30/10/2016 09:19

We pretty much did this. No seating plan, no speeches, running buffet.

And apart from my mother trying to create a "top table" and trying to make a speech. (Despite having not paid for the wedding). It all went very well, and was very relaxed and cosy.

banivani · 30/10/2016 09:24

You want a Polish wedding. You gather in the party hall, someone (the groom did this at the wedding we went to) says "welcome everyone, so glad you are here, you know the drill, we dance until five in the morning!" And they proceed to do so. With breaks to eat and drink.

b0ne · 30/10/2016 09:40

That's not particularly unusual apart from having the wedding ceremony and party in the same space (but even that's not unheard of). We didn't have a formal reception - said thanks to the guests, there was a toast, then party time! Food was several courses of a 'walking buffet' (waiters served tapas-sized dishes you could eat standing or sitting), free bar, DJ + live band, done! We didn't even bother with a first dance or cake (there were 2 dessert courses )

happymumof4crazykids · 30/10/2016 09:42

Sounds like my ideal wedding. No formal sit down wedding breakfast and no waiting around for hours!

pyjamasalways · 30/10/2016 09:44

Do it this was my wedding plan but everyone said not to, I ended up with a migraine halfway through the day and willing the night to end.

JeanGenie23 · 30/10/2016 09:53

Do it the way you want!!

I agree with the other posters who mention the need to leave the hall so it can be rearranged for dancing.

I hate speeches as well, they make me cringe as does the whole first dance thing we got around it by putting little notes on each table with a couple of bottles of prosecco and some homemade (by me) brownies. We only had about 50 guests though so it was easy to do that.

BrioLover · 30/10/2016 09:57

Sounds great! I did something similar when I married DH - he didn't want a traditional sit down meal. We got married at 4pm (the latest time available) and then had drinks at 5, buffet at 7. The music started with the drinks and there was a pause at 7 (with background music still to keep atmosphere) so the band ate with us.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 30/10/2016 12:34

i know someone who held their wedding in a large hall type of place,latest they could get the regitrar was 4.30 though so after the formal bit they retired to a room off the main hall for a high tea then back into the hall for ceildh band, dancing and later a food truck tuned up outside for guests to eat from. hugely informal and fun.

MummaGiles · 30/10/2016 12:35

Sounds great, so long as you can find a registrar willing to marry you that late in the day. The latest we could do was 3pm.

FFTransform · 30/10/2016 14:31

Also remember that everyone knows the format for a standard wedding - so make it clear what your plans are, timings of cake and food etc as people get a bit lost sheep when they are uncertain what is going on

knaffedoff · 30/10/2016 21:00

We wanted something similar a few years ago, unfortunately we couldn't get a registrar after 3:30 so we ended up doing a sit down meal as we wanted the ceremony to be small and intimate, inviting friends later but 4pm was too early to start the party but neither could we expect our ceremony guests to wait too long for food!

flumpybear · 30/10/2016 21:04

Sounds fab!! I'd probably send a paragraph in the invitations explaining simple wedding with no fussy speeches etc so people don't keep pestering and asking about trivia that's not your concern that special evening!!

CalleighDoodle · 30/10/2016 21:11

I went to your ideal wedding a month ago op. Ceremony was at 3pm. then snacks. Hog roast in the evening. Free bar all day / night. Was great.

helterskelter99 · 30/10/2016 21:15

A lot of hotels won't let a wedding only feed people once. I did wonder if you booked a party and got married elsewhere whether you could get round that

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