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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you plan on spending on DCs at Christmas?

400 replies

Snowflakes1122 · 28/10/2016 18:35

I ask because dc10 seems to have a lot of friends getting the iPhone 6 or 7 for Christmas. I'm talking 9/10 year old kids!

I was planning on spending £150 per child (we have 3 dcs)

What do you think is an acceptable amount to spend on your children at Christmas?

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 30/10/2016 16:02

Can I just point out that spending £600 on Christmas does not necessarily mean you can't afford to send your child to university. I will fiercely defend anyone for spending less or more - unless they are doing it out of tiring worthiness - but some of us are fortunate to be in a position where we are relatively comfortable. There will always be others with more - imagine what Kanye or Beyonce will spend on their kids! - and others with less and the trick is to spend what you are comfortable with and to be comfortable with it, not to need to try put others down in some form of reverse snobbery for spending more and most certainly not to act as if its impossible to have a good Christmas on a small amount of money.

I think both can be just as hurtful and damaging to others.

Primaryteach87 · 30/10/2016 16:07

I do think the older they get the more you might reasonably spend. Totally depends on income too.

We'll probably spend £30-50 each on our DC but they are both under two. We also don't buy much loads outside of birthdays and Christmas (except clothes,shoes and summer toys as our are changing quickly and winter babies)

Aeroflotgirl · 30/10/2016 16:10

Last year we spent a lot, for each present lovingly bought, to be tossed aside, and next! Shouted, we thought, not this year. So they have chosen themselves, a few things that they really want, they happen to be really inexpensive.

Meadows76 · 30/10/2016 16:14

Why do so many people have a problem with spenders? I spend a lot because my elder two are teens. Things cost more. But I don't see why people think this means they won't be able to go to university or that I am trying to show them love in the wrong way. It's just a simple fact of life that the nice things they want have a bigger price tag than the nice things the younger ones want.

mummc2 · 30/10/2016 16:16

My 2 DDs will probably get around £100 each then usually around £20 for stockings we could afford more tbh but both their bdays are in Nov and we tend to treat them throughout the year when they have worked hard/achieved things in their school/sports so don't feel the need to spend for the sake as we have realised a lot just doesn't get used or shoved under bed

gamerwidow · 30/10/2016 16:19

I've budgeted for £200 for Dd(6) but it depends what she wants. I will spend less if she doesn't want anything big. Last year we spent about that much on lots of little bits and she ended up with far too much to open and she didn't play with half of it. She gets a lot of presents from extended family too. Spend what you can afford but I think when you spend too much some of the shine rubs off because they can't appreciate or even remember what they've been bought.

sophree · 30/10/2016 16:20

The toys my kids are interested in are between £40 -£100
With 2 items each that takes my money right up?
I can't imagine buying a full Christmas for less than I do? What do you buy?

And maybe I'm not pinning all my hopes on university Hmm people get places in life without further education, that point was wildly unnecessary Confused

manhowdy · 30/10/2016 16:29

Why do so many people have a problem with spenders?

My guess: a mix of jealousy, guilt and in the case of the higher earners, a kind of smugness that being a tight bastard makes them a better parent.

MsJamieFraser · 30/10/2016 16:33

Arf at those doing the passive aggressive judgements over spending for Christmas which now equates to those people not affording their children higher education.

I can afford to spend thousands on my boys, and shockingly to some pay upfront their university and accommodation for the whole 4-5 years!

I think some of you need to get a grip and stop making idiotic judgements based on a single post, unless you know the individual persons finiacial affairs, then please stop with the iditotic comments, your only making a fool of yourself, by being so judgemental and narrow minded.

People can spend what they can afford if they choose not to then they have to deal with the consequences of their actions!

Philoslothy · 30/10/2016 16:37

Bingeing on alcohol is bad, bingeing on food is bad but bingeing on presents is good.

I agree that this double standard exists.

We don't really have a budget per child but I imagine we spend around £100 per child. I don't really think about it to be honest but I suspect we spend less than many other parents do on presents per child.

However we do spend a lot on food, drink and entertainment over the season and that never seems to attract judgement.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/10/2016 16:37

Just asked my just-6 year old what he wants for Xmas. "Nothing really. A couple of surprises maybe?" DD (8) wants to do the local Xmas morning swim. That's it.

DS had his birthday a couple of weeks ago and got a fair bit, some he wanted and some surprises. He had the birthday party he wanted too. Probably spent about £250. We're pretty high earners but the kids get a small amount of pocket money and much more for their birthdays (which are personal to them) than Xmas (which has just turned into a total spend-fest for most (?)). We've made Xmas about time together. We often go away. We make sure we see family members and good friends and have a good time. The kids just don't need piles of stuff under the tree for Xmas to be special. We make December about kindness rather than asking for things.

We stopped other buying because of the amount of stuff that was coming into the house for the sake of it. People feeling they needed to buy us something and the £20 or whatever they spent being an utter waste because it ended up in a charity shop being sold for £3 in January.

Consumerism is killing us and what we model to our kids matters.

harverina · 30/10/2016 16:38

This year we will be spending around £200 each because both DC need a new bike so they will get a bike and a few wee other bits.

It would depend on what we were getting them to be honest. I don't have a set amount in mind - if we were buying a cheaper main present I wouldn't feel bad and then spend lots of money on other things, if that makes sense.

I know we will get to an age where the DC want very expensive presents that look small - iPads, phones, branded clothes. But will have to see at the time what we can afford z

Spice22 · 30/10/2016 16:39

Aero the attacking comment was a general one to some of the comments here , such as the one directly above yours. I just found your first post contradicting and judgemental.

harverina · 30/10/2016 16:39

I should add the DC get big presents from our families too - my mum and DSis pool together and have bought them a tablet each. PIL's also spend about £70 each on them too. They always ask what they need/want and we have a think about it so that it isn't wasted.

manhowdy · 30/10/2016 16:41

Just asked my just-6 year old what he wants for Xmas. "Nothing really. A couple of surprises maybe?" DD (8) wants to do the local Xmas morning swim. That's it.

Assume this is because they're used to getting feck all anyway?

Cagliostro · 30/10/2016 16:45

Agree about there being the issue of whether the DCs get new stuff as and when throughout the year. Just got new duvets for my two as they've been using blankets (and DS only recently moved out of his toddler size bed so didn't have a single size one at all yet). So I got them a new cover each, but rather than giving them now I'm saving the covers for Christmas Eve along with new pyjamas. They have an old cover each already that we were given a few years ago so we can use them (we have a tumble dryer so can wash and replace in a few hours when needed) - leaving the new covers for xmas makes them more special. We do the same with clothes and top up their wardrobes at xmas, only getting the odd thing throughout the year if they really need it. Books on the other hand I buy year round (far too many TBH but I love buying books!) so although they do get a few as presents they don't get much of a look in on the day itself.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/10/2016 16:45

They don't get feck all. 🙄 They both have birthdays near Xmas and so they just aren't really bothered about Xmas.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/10/2016 16:47

manhowdy don't be so stupid! My dd and ds said the same thing, despite having kindles, I pads, toys galore previous Christmases!

HeCantBeSerious · 30/10/2016 16:47

I wouldn't keep bikes for Xmas - they get them when they need them. And I don't class bedding as a present. Confused

We don't celebrate on 25th December so there's not much point hanging onto stuff till Xmas eve either.

Meadows76 · 30/10/2016 16:50

This thread is oozing with bitchiness.y. Do people really think because I spend more money than others that our Christmas is not about being together. Fuck sake. We have 2 weeks where we are all home and spend more time together over that period than any other time in the year except possibly our summer holiday. Why on earth do people use the 'it's not about presents it's about spending time with each other' tired old argument? We spend time together AND buy each other nice things.

manhowdy · 30/10/2016 16:51

Aeroflotgirl: it's OK for you to tell people they're spending too much, but I must not suggest some people don't spend enough. OK then.

HeCantBeSerious you're a spender at other times of the year, but not at Christmas when it's crass consumerism. Gotcha.

Philoslothy · 30/10/2016 16:52

If you asked my children what they wanted for Christmas you would get a vague answer not because they are particularly moral children but because they are used to our low standards of gift giving at Christmas and they get stuff for the rest of the year.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/10/2016 16:58

Yes a thread like this is going to be quite emotional, there are different opinions. We are all entitled to our opinions, that is mine.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/10/2016 17:03

you're a spender at other times of the year, but not at Christmas when it's crass consumerism. Gotcha.

I'm not a massive spender at any time of year apart from significant birthdays when we have a blowout holiday.

LyndaNotLinda · 30/10/2016 17:05

Probably around £150-200. He generally gets one 'big' present from me and a couple of smaller things/stocking fillers but they all add up in a scary way