to want to quit teaching: I've lost all faith and motivation

[PeppermintTeaPlease]

I was so enthusiastic and excited during my first 5 years as a teacher. I loved working with the kids, and I spent so much time and energy trying to put together lessons and ways of introducing the material to them. I was the female Mr. Keating (Dead Poet's Society)!

But you know what? I don't care anymore. I'm so disillusioned. THEYthe studentsdon't care. I have two students in total who actually enjoy the things we read and want to improve as writers. The majority of the rest cobble together papers based on what they read on SparkNotes and CliffNotes online; I know most of them don't read the novels at all. Did you know that it is possible to write a basic composition without reading the book about which you are writing? Well, it is. SparkNotes and similar websites give detailed plot and character summaries, and explain all themes of the literature. I'm just the loser who prattles about how much they are missing by not reading the books, the loser with my little-person school teacher's job, and so I deserve to spend hours and hours of time every evening reading and marking pages and pages of uninspired dreck written by people who don't give a damn. In fact, I'll be doing just that until about midnight tonight.

I had a student who wanted an A. He bitterly resented his C grade (I was being generous). He even admitted he hadn't read the book, and "only read the Wikipedia article, that was my mistake 'cos I should have read more articles to say what it was about." The Head said I had to "give him a chance to try again" on the composition. I just opened the document that was the student's resubmission, and guess what? COPIED WORD FOR WORD from three different internet articles. It took me less than two minutes to realize he hadn't written it AND to find the articles he copied online.

And he WILL do great in life. His parents will set him up in their family business, and he'll have a better life than I do. And he knows it. And his parents know it too: they can barely mask their contempt when I try to speak to them.

So, yeah. I'm an idiot, and a fool, and I've wasted my life.

I've had that hideous "moment of reckoning": I've just seen myself for what I am. Now I am embarrassed to go face the students again. God, I'm a loser.

Maybe just another school?

DS, at an ordinary comp, y9 and dyslexic (and can't read won't read attitude) has been spellbound by a novel they have been reading in class this term. He kept talking about at dinner. His homework was to think about themes from the book.

I feel for you because I see it in my husband everyday. He loves teaching and working with children but some of them just cannot be bothered. Also, like 1 person said the expectations of the government on teachers is just becoming more and more ridiculous. How can you teach someone who does not want to be taught?
Like I always say public sector job is a mugs game. No incentive. Capped pay. Pay Doesnt keep up with inflation. What a joke.

I know all about bloom and his bloody taxonomy! Mastery learning etc. All teachers should know about theoretical shit stuff.
The thing is OP you would deal with the kid who told you to fuck off because you know that you will be supported. You will also know that kids had issues. Our kids are not privileged or rich but they know how to show respect. Previously mentioned kid would swear (not at me) then apologise to me for swearing as I had told him I wouldn't accept swearing - to me that was a winner

OP, it sounds as if you are really struggling with the gap between the ideal and the reality. Do you reckon this is a temporary blip, or might you be happier in a job which didn't come with such high expectations of "worthwhile-ness"?

Sigh. Thanks for "listening" to me, everyone. I'm going to carry on with reading/marking tonight. I wouldn't walk out on the A Levels/IB students mid-year (because some of them DO care). But...I need to find something new for next year.

Pieceofpurplesky, I wish you were my colleague!

I don't think you have a teaching problem, you have a school problem.

Try nad find a school with supportive SLT

Come and teach at my place!
Lovely state secondary up north in a very working class town. Kids are warm, sparky, full of banter, sometimes a bit cheeky, occasionally a bit naughty.
They are not all academic, and some aren't keen on my subject (or school at all) but they try hard, and they have decent values.

The Head is ambitious yet realistic. Makes all the difference.

Where are you strengths OP?

Pastoral? SEN? G&T?

Where are you? Do the students not take public exams? Could you only mark work which has been carried out under exam conditions in class?

I think it's the type of school you're in that's the problem, OP. You do sound depressed and I don't blame you, but really it's not all like that in education.

Aw peppermint I think you have the passion but are not in the right place. Could you do a visit to a state school? Then make up your mind

Having experience of them, I knew that you worked in a grammar or independent school.

I am not teaching anymore but did teach GCSE and A level and there were definitely opportunities for getting essays from the Internet.

I always returned the essays clipped to a copy of the essay they had copied from and it rarely happened again after that. In my experience a comprehensive won't encourage you to cover up or cheat in the same way that a selective school might.

Is this controlled assessment work? Are you exam grades significantly lower than the essays they hand in. It just doesn't make sense for the school to cover this up because they need to produce their own work in an exam.

I think the only way round this is to get them to prepare and plan their essays and then give them an hour to write them in class.

I do think it would be a shame if you left teaching without trying a different school. You do sound over invested and even depressed but your school has created that situation.

I was going to say the same as Cauliflower. Every fortnight I set a time essay in class and the grades from these essays were put towards the tracking data that was sent home. Could you suggest this as a policy? It also gets them used to writing to time which can often be an issue with bright students.

Would have thought most schools would teach the value of writing in own words and what plagiarism is. And as for the other poster giving up university lecturing, would have thought they all use anti-plagiarism software now, we had to sign declarations that the work was ours before submitting it.

Your issues sound more like a school problem, I'd try another school before I gave up on teaching entirely.

aintnothin, yes we do use anti-plagiarism software these days

doesn't stop them from trying, but in some ways I think university teachers are better supported (at least where I am): we have clear procedures for dealing with it- and we do take it less personally

otoh our chances of promotion (and in many cases of keeping our jobs) depend on our grades in student evaluation questionnaires (where we are graded by name)- so there is certainly an element of stress there

Did you go into it thinking you'd inspire a love of literature and poetry and influence lives?. It sounds like you might have with your Dead poets society reference.

I know of a few teachers that have done that for some pupils on some occasions. But school is a boring drudge for most pupils once you get to secondary level. I was bright; popular and had a thirst for knowledge at an 'elite' school I was lucky to gain a scholarship too. I read book after book and still do. But I had a thirst for knowledge for what I was interested in. And 99% of the time that had nothing to do with the curriculum. School was something I was forced to engage with which I resented enormously (though I now know I should have realised how easy it was in comparison to adult life and wish I'd made more of it. But you don't know that as a teen, you're just bored and would rather be doing something else).

I had some crap teachers. I had some great ones who were lovely. None of them inspired me. None made a difference. I can't think of anything that any of them said that has stayed with me (apart from when I was in trouble!).

They were teachers and did what they were supposed to do - teach the curriculum. So to me; that's their job done and they are important and valued for their role. But if a teacher thought I would ever read or give a shit about Little Dorrit then they were sadly mistaken. I read the back page and skimmed chapters when asked specific questions for assignments. That was it. I'd have been beside myself with joy if had Wikipedia in those days.

You can't force people to give a shit about what they don't give a shit about no matter how you present it.

I'd say school culture problem. No teaching is free from problems, but the support systems of staff make or break it.

I've spent my career doing supply and temporary contracts. Often I've enjoyed the less accademic schools more. Where there are challenges, the staff tend to be better at working together to address them. I've often found the culture of the upper middle class comps harder as they tend to be more complacent about their reputation and see any problems as an individual teacher's shortfall. Parents can be problematic in any school, but again the ones who are better educated and in positions such as managerial levels tend to be harder to reason with.

I'm currently on a break to prioritise a young family over workload. I love the act of teaching but can find it overwhelming over prolonged periods. When I return after a break, I feel refreshed and more inspired.

As far as my students are told, plagiarism is illegal. They know that if they plagiarise in exams (eg learning something they have read online and regurgitating it) they will fail. They also know that if they waste my time with plagiarised work, I will contact home, pass it on to my HoD and it will go on their file as evidence if they were to try it again.

I work in a v mixed semi rural comp. I teach a bright, quite motivated yr12 group then go straight to bottom set year 9 who can barely write a sentence and who struggle to articulate a thought without swearing. But it's great. Most of the children I see are nice, respectful and appreciative - those who are not soon learn to fake it in my room or leave. SLT are reasonably supportive and my dept are great. This is what teaching can still be in the right school. Maybe you need a change of sector, rather than a change of career.

There are no similarities between your school and mine! I can't believe some of the things I've read OP, I mean I do believe you, but it's nothing like the school I teach in.

I teach English KS4 and 5.

I always mark according to the criteria and ignore the predictive grade.
So if a 'B" student gets a D, then tough, they get a D, know exactly why, and then know how to improve to get their grade.

I don't mark work that is clearly copied (once read virtually the same Schmoop Romeo and Juliet essay six times over, sent them all back with no score).

But I have the backing of an excellent Head Of Faculty, and Head, and you clearly don't.

Change school before you change career. Your school is not the norm.

Just I think that is a private school thing - I know many pupils who have thanked me for making a difference.

It's the same in any job these days.

Thisjustinno: Thank you. See, my moment of reckoning came when I understood, all in a flash, that most of my students think just as you do/did and that's OK!). You wrote (about your teachers) that: "None of them inspired me. None made a difference. I can't think of anything that any of them said that has stayed with me (apart from when I was in trouble!)" and that "You can't force people to give a shit about what they don't give a shit about no matter how you present it." I respect this mentality. I accept that this is what the majority of my/all students feel.

But I'm an idiot for not understanding this long ago. I don't belong in teaching. At all. I should have stayed in academia. Or become a lawyer.

Maybe I still can.