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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider calling 101 next time...

59 replies

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 08:58

Don't know if I should have gone to feminist chat with this but I'm feeling brave and it's good to hear other points of view. Every day I spend two hours commuting each way up a busy stretch of motorway during rush hour. The journey is annoying enough in itself as it's less than an hour when traffic is less. Nowapart from the fact that for two hours I have to concentrate hard on driving due to random braking, unnecessary lanes switches with no warning etc etc. My problem is that at least once a journey, a lorry driver or van driver will try and catch my attention, speeding up, slowing down, sometimes making lewd gestures, flashing, honking and generally being dangerous and affecting my own, theirs and other drivers ability to concentrate fully. I feel like there's nothing I can do as even if they are in a branded vehicle, I can't write it down and by the time I get home I've minimised it and usually forgotten the company. So my AIBU is - AIBU to want to call 101 with this complaint? It is dangerous but I swerve between not wanting to 'make a fuss' or waste police time, and thinking that people should understand how intimidating and dangerous their actions are. N.b. This is not a stealth boast, I like to think I'm not completely hideous but I'm no oil painting

OP posts:
FruitCider · 28/10/2016 11:59

I reckon the OP is one of those middle lane hoggers that does 55mph Wink

summerblues · 28/10/2016 12:02

I used to think drivers were flashing me....then I realised it was the lights briefly appearing to be flashing as the cars went over hills/round bends ConfusedGrin. Paranoia much.

MarchEliza2 · 28/10/2016 12:03

Got it now OP? It must be all your fault Hmm

mastersledge · 28/10/2016 12:07

it seems unlikely that all these random (evil) men are all flashing and honking cause you're female Hmm

More likely it is your driving.

pregnantat50 · 28/10/2016 12:07

Do you drive a very unusual flash car?

MardyGrave · 28/10/2016 12:09

What kind of car do you have? I'd say it's most likely to be a driving issue, or a perception people have formed based upon your vehicle if it's a bit flashy.

Scrumptiousbears · 28/10/2016 12:16

I've never had this in my 25+ years of commuting. Maybe you are looking into others behaviour a bit too much OP.

Euripidesralph · 28/10/2016 12:16

Look I'm sorry but this is silly..... I drive a notorious motorway stretch 3 hours a day and whilst I doubt I'm stunning (i am after all kissing 40 having had 2 kids) I'm blonde and slim which is probably about all a driver can see and this has never happened

I've had the odd wink in traffic , occasional window roll down but I'd be far more concerned about the state of my driving as an instinct in this scenario

Op it really does sound like a stealth boast or you are clueless about the state of your driving or are you under the impression that half the motorway is keeping an eye out for your gorgeousness just to harass you??

Once or twice yeah I'd feel for you and think the men were twats but your post is just silly

Do consider some level of humility

pregnantat50 · 28/10/2016 12:22

do you drive topless Op?

ratspeaker · 28/10/2016 12:26

Dash cam front and back are the best bet.
You can review what was happening and if they are driving dangerously then you can report to police or their company

RockNRollNerd · 28/10/2016 12:31

Agree with others that it sounds odd, I drive lots on motorways and have never had this and I drive an Audi. Are you sure it's not something like your fog lights are permanently on or your brake lights aren't working. I don't see how lorry drivers in particular could even see what you look like from their cab most of the time.

WeArePregnant11 · 28/10/2016 12:37

I don't drive, so.... but this has happened when my wife and I (both female) are in the car.

It has also happened when I was biking. Some guys have even thrown a bottle of water me and drove of laughing.

So, I'm no feminist (which is apparently something to mentioned here...? Idk), but this does remind me of street harassement. As somebody that has experience with (physical and verbal) stresst harassement I'd advice you to install a dash cam.

TimTamTerrier · 28/10/2016 12:43

I used to drive both a Fiat 500 and a VW Tiguan. Loads of pushy behaviour towards me in the 500, nothing at all in the Tiguan. My driving was exactly the same. There was something about a 500 that certain men feel they should always be in front of one and not behind, no matter that I'm keeping up with traffic and it's not safe for them to overtake. So I can believe that this is a reality for the OP and she's not imagining it.

Definitely a dash cam, and then you can send an email with a video clip to the companies employing the drivers.

WorraLiberty · 28/10/2016 12:45

How can the lorry drivers even see you when they're up so high?

Weird.

NerrSnerr · 28/10/2016 12:54

I used to commute on the motorway daily and this never happened to me. If you're pissing off lorries I wondered if you're driving slower than the flow of the traffic?

Original poster
IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 13:56

Ok so to clarify my driving isn't always perfect, but I'm not talking about angry beeping. My car is not flashy but is a 4x4. I don't sit in the middle/fast lane unless I'm overtaking or stuck in traffic and I'm mostly talking about when I'm stuck in traffic. I'll try the blow up doll idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 14:00

It's not so much beeping/flashing or I think I would look at my driving, It's more often driving along slowly, stuck in traffic with a weird bloke staring and smiling sort of situation. I just think it's very much like cat calling

OP posts:
Original poster
IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 14:10

I did miss the topless suggestion Grin surely you're not suggesting my one woman free the nipple on motorways campaign is the cause of this? Wink

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/10/2016 14:15

It's more often driving along slowly, stuck in traffic with a weird bloke staring and smiling sort of situation. I just think it's very much like cat calling

And therefore you want to telephone the police?

Original poster
IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 28/10/2016 14:18

No, that would be really very silly don't you think? When they go further with it as in the OP I want to

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/10/2016 14:18

Sorry I'm confused now.

In your OP you say... My problem is that at least once a journey, a lorry driver or van driver will try and catch my attention, speeding up, slowing down, sometimes making lewd gestures, flashing, honking and generally being dangerous and affecting my own, theirs and other drivers ability to concentrate fully.

That ^^ is obviously a reason to phone the police.

Especially if it's happening twice a day, every day.

It's a very strange situation that should probably be looked into.

Yoksha · 28/10/2016 14:29

Dashcams front & back as pp suggested upthread. Then you can see what's going on when you're in a less stressful position.

Lelloteddy · 28/10/2016 20:53

So are they staring and smiling?
Or making lewd gestures?

Because there's quite a difference and you seem somewhat confused.....

doraismissing · 28/10/2016 21:00

Are you permanently in the middle lane? If so, move over to the left hand /slow lane and only go into the middle lane to overtake. I do a lot of motorway driving and people who sit in the middle lane at 65 for no reason drive me up the wall

arethereanyleftatall · 28/10/2016 21:05

You know if they're making the five knuckle shuffle hand gesture, that doesn't mean they would like you to toss them off, don't you?