DH swearing - would this piss you off?

[muminmanchester]

For a few months now DH has been swearing whenever DS wakes in the night. Things like 'for fucks sake' or 'what the fuck does he want now'. It really upsets me and makes me feel like he's angry with DS for what is perfectly normal and reasonable behaviour. He's 10 months old and crying is the only way he can tell us something is wrong in the night.

DH is a fab dad and I have no concerns about him ever being angry or upset with DS, but the swearing really gets my protective instincts going and makes me very upset.

Would this piss you off? Or am I being over sensitive? It's so hard to tell when you've not slept properly for the best part of a year!!

I do this. It's just frustration and exhaustion. That's all. Don't read to much into it.

You're being over sensitive

If you are complaining about him swearing then maybe don't use "piss"

Ok. Thank you for the sanity check!

Sorry I don't agree with pp - this would really bother me.

Ive uttered similar in the depths of exhaustion... when I actually saw to waking baby I would say something like come on now its sleep time (sigh) not get back to sleep you noisy f**r

In fact I say it under my breath now when I hear the twenty fifth 'mum' in the space of 5 mins they are almost teenagers.

I'd say it's probably down to being tired. I've uttered words under my breath when I've been exhausted. I have a 10 month old too so I get it!

My DH swears in front of the children at times & this isn't acceptable, but I know he's exhausted as he works long hours (still not an excuse however). I'd get over it if it wasn't in front of them.

I'm afraid it's standard here too, although we're quire sweary generally. It really is just tiredness and frustration. We both know we love our kids, doesn't stop them driving us mad though.

I do this. It's tiredness and frustration. I hiss foul expletives under my breath and it helps to release the frustration so that I can be absolutely lovely to ds's face. I used to feel awful about it but I checked with a couple of friends and they do it too, I imagine it's a pretty common coping mechanism.

It would upset me too OP. DH knows I don't like swearing so he never does it at home - I suspect he does at other times though. Have you told your DH how much it bothers you, particularly as it's directed at a baby and you're the one having to get up! It can feel very negative and aggressive. Not exactly helpful is it?

, particularly as it's directed at a baby and you're the one having to get up! It can feel very negative and aggressive. Not exactly helpful is it?

Well articulated! Exactly this.

Yanbu

Have you spoken to him about it?

Being woken from a deep sleep really does justify a bit of swearing in frustration. He's just saying it into thin air, not directing it at you or your child. I'm sure I used to swear a bit when I was trying to pull myself round for night feeds.

God - that is absolutely horrible! "What the fuck does he want now?" about a 10 month old baby?

Vile.

DH has very occasionally done this and I hate it. I know what you mean about it getting the protective instincts going. I don't really know the answer though I'm afraid

It wouldn't bother me at all but we're a sweary family. A bit of a moan is fine, if he really sounds angry I would urge him to go to bed earlier so he's not so tired!

Vile? Really?

As others have said, it's hardly something to lose sleep over.

I've done it and I've usually been the me getting up with the baby. Tbh I don't think I'd have get through parenthood without the odd fuck muttered under my breath. Sometimes now when I hear muuuuuummm for the thousandth time that day I mutter ffs before turning round with a bit smile and a yes darling.
I can see how with someone else doing it the protective instinct would kick in but I'd also know I was being a bit irrational.

im afraid we both swear 'at' the baby in this house.
On alternate nights.

It would stress me out that dh was annoyed or angry and I'd feel guilty that he was tired and like I couldn't then ask for help. (Disclaimer; my issue, not down to my dh who is generally lovely). So yes, whilst I'd understand the frustration I'd ask him to tone it down.

Yup, I do it. I'm not proud of myself, but I do it. Usually after I've just lowered my head down onto the pillow after another mammoth early-hours settle, only to hear DS start to warm up again over the monitor... It's exhaustion and frustration. Whatever relieves the pressure!

That said, I get Whatsername17's point that if it came from DH it would add to the stress, but I don't find it vile: all too understandable!

Thanks everyone. I feel much better about it today thanks to your words. I know it's just frustration and I'm certainly not thrilled about being jerked awake by shouting every night. It's just his way of getting the frustration out.

And actually he didn't do it last night but we went to bed early - maybe that's the answer! X

I do this, yet I grumble when dh does. I'm the worst sort of person

I do this I'm annoyed to be woken up when I'm so exhausted but I'm not actually angry at my baby I'm just angry with the situation if that makes sense, I can wake up effing and blinding and get to her cot and be softly cooing and shushing her and kissing her little head all in the space of 5 seconds

I think it's quite healthy to have this sort of release
It's better than swearing at the baby

Plus, it's had to go from sleeping to awake and there's a sort of halfway state where wile are just acting on instinct and not fully in control

Dh once told his mum to fuck off as a young teenager when she tried to get him up for school. His dad lamped him