To think shut the fuck up? (I am.) (Also gross post warning - sick)

[FourForYouGlenCoco]

So DH has picked up a D&V bug.

He is a really noisy puker. REALLY. He may as well sit there and shout.
Bathroom is next to bedroom.

Between 4am and now he's woken me up 4x, hurling copiously at top volume. Rather than feeling sympathetic and sorry for him I'm just laid here wishing he'd shut up. And feeling a bit pissed off that he's brought the dreaded lurgy into the house and therefore I'll be spending my morning disinfecting the entire sodding bathroom.

So AIBU to think he should learn to vom quietly like every other fucker?!

(In my defence, I have a 4yo and 3mo, and it's half term, so sleep is pretty precious right now, but even so, IABVU and a bitch, I know. Poor DH with his mean, unsympathetic wife )

Can't stand loud vommers. I vom like a kitten

YANBU.

Mind you, I might not be the best person to tell you that as the least sympathetic wife in the world. My husband has been hospitalised twice when I thought he was just being soft. :)

DP is the same, he can be in the bathroom upstairs while I downstairs with two closed doors between us and I can still hear him, it's grim

White noise to conceal it a bit?

When I was much younger, still living with my parents, my Dbro would come home after a large one, and copiously vom all over the bathroom, making these "Yaargh" noises with each vom. I would try to escape by shifting down into the living room, but honestly, it was impossible!

You have my sympathies OP, lack of sleep & germy bathrooms are not fun.

I wasn't aware you can control how you sound when you are being sick! I've got pretty bad morning sickness atm and when my tummy is emptying I have no control - I just have to wait for it to be over.
YANBU to be irritated you are awake, YABU to think he is doing it to spite you. Also- offering some water and sympathy wouldn't kill you

My DH sounds like a wild animal when he pukes and it makes me want to punch him. I think it's the sicky version of man flu - they're suffering and need everyone to know about it.

My DH groans inbetween really loudly. He had a bug this week and I wouldnt go near him.

Oh YANBU. There is is no need for the roaring, I know exactly what you mean. Same goes for nose blowing that can be heard through the entire house.

I'm the world's loudest vommer, can't help it. I'm also a complete martyr when I'm puking, cry my eyes out and feel very sorry for myself indeed. So I sympathize with your poor dh, but am acutely aware that if it was my dp vomming loudly with babies sleeping, I'd be fuming!

YADNBU for thinking shut the fuck up but YWBU if you were to say it out loud. In all likelihood he really can't help how he sounds. I'm a horribly loud horker myself and have been since I can remember - when I was six I woke my DM up throwing up into the downstairs toilet while she was sleeping upstairs! I try as hard as I can to throw up quietly but it's impossible. Fortunately it hasn't been an issue for years since I have (knock on wood) a cast-iron tum and rarely drink anymore. For the people who say loud barfers are doing it for attention, I'd bet 99.9% of them aren't - when I'm throwing up I'm utterly incapable of knowing or caring how much attention is coming my way unless someone is knocking on the door, not to mention I don't want people anywhere near me while it's happening!

Do you actually know how loudly you vomit? I'd bet it's louder than you think. And I'd hope your DH would be marginally sympathetic to you, even if you had woken him up.

I feel your pain. DH is the noisiest puker..
Even when he feels slightly nauseous he'll make noises like a bear with a sore arse. And then makes it worse by trying to make himself vomit. So even worse dry heaving and coughing.

We're all v. Unsympathetic wives.

ok, how on earth can you control how noisily you vomit?! I'm a noisy upchucket but I dont know how to do it quietly. Any hints gratefully received!

Dh sounds like a raptor and always manages to rip his throat and afterward spits out blood too!!! Concerned me the first few times but he's done it since a child and his mam has him checked out, doctors said its just the force with which he vomits

Isn't this someone you are supposed to love? The poor man's ill!

Good grief. Yesterday people were insisting my marriage was awful as I am an asking for money SAHM but I will tell you what, my husband is kind, sympathetic and concerned when I vomit (which is a lot.)

You sound horrible.

You are not alone OP. DH makes a noise like a sea lion, its traumatic for everyone.

Bubbles that's bad!

God yes, the shout sneezing. My dad does this. It doesn't even sound like a normal sneeze. He did it just as a ride was starting at Chessington and everyone jumped out of their skin . An attendant came over to ask if 'everything was alright sir?'
So awkward.

OP, I understand your irritation but at least pretend to be sympathetic . I'm sure your dh will appreciate a little faux concern (he can return the favour when you come down with it).

DH is an angry sneezer and the one time he's been sick when sober in our relationship, he was an angry vomiter too. He roars with rage while doing it. All it has ever achieved is making me roll my eyes and the kids scream and run away as it's so loud (sneezing not vomiting). No one says bless you to him, not even strangers, because it sounds like he's shouting not sneezing.

Funnily enough when he got so drunk he couldn't stand and spent New Year with his face in the toilet, he was so quiet I didn't know he was ill at first. Maybe it was the shame, or maybe he was just too out of it to make a noise.

sciurus I know. It makes my heart go like billy-o but he's adamt its normal for him and thankfully he rarely vomits (maybe twice a year when his brothers visit and drink, and he's a nice drunk). Its not a huge amount of blood but still worrying

drink You really can control the volume! I discovered this when I had really bad morning sickness. I couldn't be making that noise when I was at work, or in the middle of the night when the children were asleep so I just started doing it quietly. I became the master of the silent sick.

On the other hand, I am a roar-sneezer so perhaps DH and I are even . He also threatened to send me out of the room when I was blowing my nose last night because he couldn't hear the TV.

To all the posters saying how horrible OP is. Lighten up - I'm sure she still loves him. We're allowed to be annoyed by people and still like them!