To want it to be 13 years ago and be off on my way to a rock/indie night instead of stuck on a train with dd

[StrongTeaHotShower]

Can I please be a teenager with no problems or responsibility off on her way to a proper head banging, mosh pitting night of rock, indie, punk and metal?

Dd's asleep and I'm on a train traveling past my old haunts on the way back from my mums. Ahh nostalgia....

I get you completely OP, just 1 day where I didnt have to think whats for tea, has ds got clothes for the day, do we have enough toilet rolls...

God what Id give for just a day back in 1997, first year at college, new mates, lots of gigs, trips away best year of my life, no responsibility whatsoever!

i hear ya OP love do more than life itself but i also loved the summer of 2009 when i went travelling solo round asia, or the summer of 2012 when i'd just moved to a new city and made loads of new friends and which i mostly spent lounging around in parks and at festivals drinking cider and smoking the odd joint and putting the world to rights. or the period in my mid twenties where every friday i'd meet my mate after work and we'd sit in her 10th floor flat drinking wine and looking out over the city and having the kind of wonderful life affirming conversations that stay with you always.
would i rather be doing these things now? no. am i bloody glad it did them and i have the memories to look back on? yes.

and of course there's no reason why you can't go to a festival or a gig now - me and dh roped in some babysitting from friends and did it just last week. we danced and got merry and ate burgers at 2am and remembered why we got together in the first place

I even get nostalgic for all the times we missed the last train home from Manchester (after running hell for leather from Manchester Academy or the SU) and had to sleep in the station for a few hours and get the first morning train back with all the commuters...

I'm taking my eldest to his first indie concert next month. Can't wait. I don't care if I look like a sad 40 year old trying to relive my youth. I'll have my cool handsome son with me

Ah strongtea I'm the same era, I feel nostalgic for it too! Those were the good old days...

To put things in perspective. Been there, done that. Early evening train home with the DCs falling asleep all over me, while others were dressed up to the nines bound for a razzle. Long evenings dealing with them alone while DH worked away. Not being free to go out, even on my birthday, and sitting reminiscing on birthdays past.
Fast forward. DCs are grown up and left home. DHs work commitments not so demanding since we only have ourselves to support (Disclaimer. That is in theory only. The handouts carry on)

We can now go wherever we want, whenever we want, and we do!
We kick over old traces, do stuff we used to do before the kids. Go see the bands we loved, (it's usually the band's second time round, the same as ours)
Of course it's different now, in that I would drop everything should either of my DCs need my help immediately. So the feeling of freedom is not complete. But there are times, coming home on the train, that I think about those little blonde fuzzy heads snoozing on my lap, and I miss it, and I wish that I had realised then how precious those moments were.

OP. Your jolly time will come round again, and you will treasure these memories.

I remember getting ready to go out I was about 24/25 looking out bedroom window of my first house , Saturday night about to go and meet my pals for a night of drinking and dancing and chic 'good times' came on the radio and I thought to myself 'when I'm old with loads of responsibilities I'll remember how I felt right at this moment' and I do all the bloody time !

I agree knit. My dps have our dcs for a long weekend every summer so we can go to a festival.

I haven't even got kids yet but between a long hours, high stress job plus bills and trying to save a deposit and all the other fun adult things, I'd like it to be 13 years ago too. Now DH and I would be fairly newly together, on our way to Jillys Rockworld for student night. I'd be wearing huge baggy jeans, vest top purposefully torn with safety pins through it, lots of "goth" jewellery and far too much eyeliner. Bring on Pantera/Soil/Drowning Pool/early Linkin Park and the dash for the main room dance floor whenever Break Stuff is played even though everyone claims they don't like it. Drinks are a quid so a lukewarm beer is chased by a double paintstripper vodka and lemonade.

We do sometimes still go out and try to recreate it but it's a feeling and a time and place that can't be recaptured at 31!

Thirtyrock39 i have the exact same memory! listening to blondie and cracking open a trillionth bottle of cheap vino with my friend and getting ready for a night out and thinking 'fuck me, this is a happy moment'

SovietKitsch I like your user name! And yeah, Regina probably gets more airplay around here now then my old music.

My corner of music was quite a niche London ska-punk that probably doesn't exist any more now. I wouldn't know what the underground scene is now - probably quite telling as I'm 31. Are there any underground scenes now?! Genuine question, probably best left answered by an 18 year old haha.

I still go to gigs regularly, thanks to a dh that doesn't want to go out and reliable gig buddies. I have to wear hearing aids now, probably due to too many loud gigs (thanks alot my bloody valentine... Wear ear plugs kids!)

I intend to continue. It may not be the same as it was 25 years ago but I still have a great time. And appreciate every gig so much more now.

Metsphoricus I properly choked up at that! My babies are small now and it's such hard work that I forget to treasure it sometimes (ok most of the time!) Thanks for the kick, I'll give them extra kisses/head sniffs tomorrow.

Just because you crave a night of freedom doesn't mean you aren't treasuring moments with little ones though does it?

We can have it all!

I don't think YABU!

I don't feel like it myself - I do get nostalgic about going to gigs and stuff but I kind of feel like I've done it, that part of my life is done and that's ok! :)

But we are all different.

It's a hideously cliche phrase but I quite like "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" :o

I know pp mean well but are we really saying that we just have to file away that portion of our lives now that we are mothers?

I think it's especially important to find the time to so the things you loved pre DC and continue to... be It playing netball, studying, following a career path... or having a bloody good mosh every now and then!

Although hopefully not too bloody

Yanbu. I feel exactly the same some most days.

Dh and I go to an indie night for middle aged people. It's magic :D Come along OP! It finishes at a sensible time too...

I get what you mean LWS :). I think I feel differently because actually, for various reasons, I didn't HAVE much of an identity before I had kids. At least not a happy one!

I have developed much more of a sense of self since having kids - a self other than Mum I mean. I feel far more fulfilled than ever, despite now having a physical disability to contend with. I have more hobbies, interests and friends. I actually know who I am and finally I LIKE it. :)

It's merely that I don't fancy standing in a crowded arena anymore. Actually that's partly because I understand myself more (I was diagnosed with ASD last year and honestly it was one of the best things to happen to me!) that I can say actually, I might love the music but I don't necessarily need the live experience with all the crowds, noise etc that used to stress me out.

I definitely don't think that mums should give up on themselves, it just takes more effort I think but it's worth it.

Ah caglisotro I totally get what you mean about knowing who you are now more than ever... I would definitely approach my younger days with a bit less posturing if I knew what I knew now. Definitely more confident as a mother of 2 than I was as an angry 20 year old.

I'm glad your diagnosis helped you figure out that about crowded spaces - nowt room with rocking out in the living room either!

*Nowt WRONG! I got ahead of myself with the rooms there

I would like to relive my secondary school days, but with a different mother/less dysfunctional family. I quite enjoyed my school days, but if I'd had a good home life too it would have been brill!

Metsphoricus I properly choked up at that! My babies are small now and it's such hard work that I forget to treasure it sometimes (ok most of the time!) Thanks for the kick, I'll give them extra kisses/head sniffs tomorrow.

Walrus. Time passes so quickly. Enjoy snuggly times, and times you are all together. Those snuggly all together times will soon be gone. They will grow up and shove off into the big wide world.

Just love them while they're yours to look after. Be loving, and patient, and you will never regret it. They will go away and leave you because they have to, they have to make their own lives. But they will always know that you are there if they need you.

When I look at my very grown up daughters now, I just see them as they were, when we all lived together and they were little But they are not. They are grown up people with their own opinions and beliefs.
And when they disagree with me, I think, "I was the one who changed your nappies. How very dare you disagree with me!"

It's all fun though :)

Indeed LWS and thank you :)