Social Services

[user1472640125]

Hi all,

I'm looking for some advice from those that are or have worked with children's social services. I will try and keep it as brief as i can.

My three step children love with their mother and we got a court order 4 years ago and have them Friday - Sunday.

The mother has mental health issues which includes anxiety and bipolar. She is on meds.

We have serious worries regarding the conditions the children are living whilst at their mothers for example -

She does not bath or wash them
The house they live in is absolutely filthy, dog mess covers back garden and is in the house which the children are made to clean up (she has nine dogs, cats).
Kids clothes do not fit and are smelly and dirty.
They do not attend school as she claims to home school them, we know that this doesn't happen.
The 7 year old has problems with his speech which she has not sought advice for
She has been violent towards the children, thrown them against walls, hitting their he's off kitchen table, screaming at them (this has been told to us by not only the children but neighbours of hers)

Before anyone comments, I'm not a bitter bitch of a step mum making up lies, or trying to make things awkward these are all factual events.

We have contacted social services last year who put something in place for a week where she had to agree to visits now and again.

Police have also visited who have made statement s to SS that children should not be living there.

I know that a number of her neighbours have reported her for various reasons including the welfare of children and one even has recordings of her screaming at the kids. Not normal screaming!

We are genuinely concerned about the environment the kids are growing up in, what else can we do? Its awful seeing the kids on a Friday so dirty and smelling to the point they have to get straight in the shower and clothes in washing machine.

I know this will be hard to believe for most of you but none of these things I have mentioned have been exaggerated they are all factual. We are banging our heads against a brick wall and when we have spoken to social services they have said that they are not high priority and don't have the staff to look into every case.

Its so frustrating and upsetting.

chimp, it may not be the same everywhere but our Safeguarding Children Board is part of the county council and is responsible for education and training, not social work.

I did my update training last week for designated safeguarding lead in my school. The trainers told us only three organisations can investigate and take action in cases of child protection: social services, the police and the NSPCC.

OP, the first two organisations have failed to act - please phone the NSPCC on the number I posted upthread.

Thankyou x

Everything people are saying on here sounds sensible but I would also do a bit more parenting on the days they were with me, and by that I mean practical things like extra washing and grooming and buying clothes that actually fit, sending these clothes across, and telling the children to bring them back for laundering every week. Same with food, and I would send food supplies if necessary (I had to do this for DD when her dad lost the plot for a while). I would certainly follow the advice about going to the GP and making sure they are up to date with health checks and vaccinations, etc, and telling the GP a bit about what is going on at home. Then a paper trail to the authorities, along with back up from the GP, and hopefully you will be able to make some progress. Nobody wants children to suffer neglect.

I think the GP is an excellent idea, but wouldn't he have to provide evidence that he is their dad? What if he isn't registered at the same practice? As far as they're concerned he could be anybody.

Social services are part of your local council. There will be a councillor responsible for that department. Get in touch with him/her asap, say you are worried that the children are in danger, not being educated etc.

Councils have been getting a lot of stick recently about social services and does he/she really want theirs to be all over the media because of their failure to take action.

Boffinmom -In terms of doing what we can whilst they are here that's a given. We do days out every weekend. Brand new clothes, hair cuts etc. Any clothes we send them back in she sells! They have never visited a dentist until we booked an appointment privately!

Trust me, Friday to Sunday they couldn't have better lives. Most importantly we have fun.

Will look at registering them with OH GP now.

Some sound advice here, I think you need to make yourselves as much of a pain in the neck to SS as possible - the squeaky wheel and all that.

This might sound like a bit of a vindictive thing to do but I would also contact the RSPCA, the more authorities involved in this the better

I was going to say what Tolerance did. Having so many dogs running around going to the toilet everywhere is horrendous. The RSPCA will visit and probably quicker than SS. Get them called today and give them as much information as you can. They will go and look and hopefully feel it's best to remove the animals there and then (which will require police back up IIRC)... Their reports are something else you could use in court.

Lots of great advice, stick with ringing SS everyday, take photos if you can of any marks on the DC and their clothes. But of course don't draw too much attention to it all as they will surely be reporting back to their mum during the week.

Op has any discussions been had with the children about if they'd prefer to live with you full time. If the children would rather live with you than their mother that will have some sway with social services as the child's wishes and feelings must be taken into account. Of course that doesn't mean what they say will Ben acted on, but it will help you build a case for eventual full custody.

Also if mum has mental health issues does she's have her own social worker?

Yes we have spoken to the children. Obviously in a tactful way but they have all said they wish they could stay here. Wont go into what the youngest has said but its so sad.

Will contact the RSPCA. I know the neighbours have previously on many occasions due to the mess and smell in garden. The mother is friends with the warden as she has horses at the same yard as said warden!

Your DH can register them with a GP near to you.

As long as they are not registered twice the NHS won't care.

In your boat I would be calling all the agencies suggested including RSPCA regards the treatment of the animal.

Also contact the local authority about lack of schooling, they will take this very seriously, especially as they haven't been to a GP. This has been high agenda since deaths of "invisible children".

hmm... then I would report to the RSPCA anonymously, if she finds out it's you it might cause more problems at the wrong time.

take photos if you can of any marks on the DC and their clothes. But of course don't draw too much attention to it

Please don't do this - one of the children may let something slip at their mum's. Do all the collecting of evidence and contacting professionals away from them - just let them enjoy being with you at weekends.

Poor kids :(

I think you've got to start making more noise. Escalate it with every agency you can think of. GP, Social Services (make a complaint if you don't get a response and keep taking it higher), NSPCC, RSPCA, council dog warden?? Try the school the oldest boy went to, even briefly. If their teeth were filthy get the Dentist to write a report. Start court proceedings and represent yourself; ask advice on the legal boards here at each stage. Make noise for these kids.

Rather than go through SS you are better off getting a solicitor and applying for a "child arrangements order" (previously known as a "residence order").

I know of two situations where SS were not interested in intervening where kids were not being looked after properly despite many calls and a lot of contact.

In one case the parents of the mother were granted a residence order because the mother was a drug user and in the other case the father of the child was granted a residence order because the mother was neglecting the child.

I don't know what every LA is like, but I have a (male) family member whose dd was on the "at risk" register (can't remember the updated name) Her mother had learning difficulties, had a suspected paedophile living with her, was causing emotional harm, suspected sexual abuse and a string of other things and it still took years for my family member to get custody. For 18 months a panel of experts were saying that the DM could not prioritise the dc's needs over her own but because of her LD's she had to be given extra chances. It was only when she stopped engaging with her support workers that the decision was made to place the child with her father. The result is a very damaged child.

might be crazy, but could you keep the dcs so that the Police has to come and has to go in and see the state of the house. Tell the POlice this is the reason why you did that.
Then ask them again to forward the information to SS.
Do it again and again so that's its becoming a Police/SS issue rather than a personal issue as a father iyswim??

Disclaimer: I'm not sure about the implication of breaking that Court stuff.
Its so frustrating. There is a thread going on atm with a dad that kept his dc and refused to hand it back. 2 months later it still hasnt changed and the mother has no contact with the child. If that guy is able to do (with not the best intentions for the child at all), why is it that you cant do that?

A child arrangements order will be part of a court hearing. In my personal experience this can take weeks, if not months, to organise.

The children need a fast response now, because if what the OP says is true, they are at risk of significant harm, and therefore meet the threshold for immediate action by social services, the police or the NSPCC. Not saying removal necessarily, just immediate action.

I self represented in a residence order. The court was very informal and friendly. The RO was granted immediately.
Luckily mine wasn't opposed although I didn't know if it would be until it came to court.
I had to get a form from the local court, fill it in, take it back and pay £100.
(May be more now as this was six years ago)
The court hearing was around a month after handing in the form.
Nothing was in legal jargon. All easy to follow.
It does not remove parental responsibility from either of the parents but states where the child must live.
In the case of more than one child possibly you may have to do one for each child but the court will tell you that when you pick up the forms. Also if you have evidence to submit you could check when to submit it. Probably when you hand in the form.
It is possible to get a free half hour appointment with a family solicitor.. In a complicated case like yours I would certainly do that if you decide to self represent.
CAB would probably as be very helpful.
Good luck.

Sounds awful poor kids. The neighbour sounds onside, do you or your husband know her? have her contact details? I wondered if she (Mum) was violent again that the neighbour is aware of would she call the police? I have no experience at all in this field but if she was being violent and the police came I wondered if that would get things moving in the right direction. I have no idea, but good luck to you all. Someone suggested photos, they could be taken subtly, 'lets have a picture before we go shopping/the zoo' not unusual to take pictures when out and about.

A child arrangements order will be part of a court hearing. In my personal experience this can take weeks, if not months, to organise

I am sorry but that just isn't true as the statement from smilingmind shows - "I self represented in a residence order. The court was very informal and friendly. The RO was granted immediately"

The OP and her DP can refuse to return the kids after their next visit and in the meantime set about getting a CAO in place. If the situation is as bad as it sounds they will most likely be granted an interim order nd then a hearing will take place to make permanent arrangements.

The final CAO may take months but often private family law is quicker than relying on SS.

OP - here is some clear and concise advice on residence and the like

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/residence/

I am sorry but that just isn't true as the statement from smilingmind shows

It's good that one person got their child arrangements order quickly. However, if there are child protection issues to consider, this will not be the case.

And my post was more that the priority should be to protect the children from immediate harm and sort the long-term arrangements out afterwards.

I don't understand why the police don't make an emergency protection order (I may not have called it the correct thing!). The police took my grandchildren off their mother and gave them to my son due to her inability to care for them properly. It took her 2 yrs to get them back, which were the best 2 yrs in my lovely grandchildren's lives. Such a sad situation.
I would keep them every Sunday, let the police turn up for them each week until something is done, either by the police or social services. The police carried more clout than social services. They could remove the children instantly, and could return your step-children to you if they felt the children couldn't be safely left with their mother.