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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To record him snoring

28 replies

Happyhippy45 · 26/10/2016 10:03

Thought I'd record how loud he snores and let him listen to it so he can appreciate how loud it is and do something about it.
He looked a bit hurt when I told him I'd recorded him and emailed it to him. I suggested maybe trying some nose strips.
He said it didn't sound that bad.
I told him to turn up the volume and put his ear closer to the speaker.
He's apologised for waking me up again and us looking a bit sheepish about it.
Have I been a bitch or am I justified in doing this?

OP posts:

Ladybunnyfluff · 26/10/2016 10:25

I recorded my husband snoring after he repeatedly woke me up and he laughed and didn't change a thing. I think he was quite proud.

We are now in separate rooms.

QuimReaper · 26/10/2016 10:27

I wouldn't record except as a last resort if he's absolutely refused to accept that there's a problem from being told.

Original poster

Happyhippy45 · 26/10/2016 10:36

He knows there's a problem but I don't think he realises just how bad it is. I'm getting woken up about 4 times per week and move to the spare room. I don't always manage to get back to sleep either.
If I knew something I was doing was keeping him awake I'd do something about it.

OP posts:

OrlandaFuriosa · 26/10/2016 10:41

Is it intermittent, i.e. could he have sleep apnoea? In which case, get him to a dr. Quite apart from risks e.g. Falling asleep while driving it's associated with higher risks of stroke, heart attack etc. V important.

Otherwise, lose weight, less booze, one of those mouth guard thingies...

Empathy ..

WaxingNinja · 26/10/2016 10:45

By all means talk, tell him you're annoyed that he seems unwilling to address the issue.

But I think what you did was really off actually.

InTheDessert · 26/10/2016 11:04

DH snores loudly. To put some perspective on how loud, I got him to use the snorelab app. The free version won't let you use it every night, but it will monitor, and also rates the snore level as mid, loud and epic, I believe. So DH got to see a third party rate his snoring as varying between loud and epic. Might that incentive your DH to look at possible snore reduction gadgets (sprays, strips etc, there is a whole shelf in boots)

justilou · 26/10/2016 11:08

I have a video of my husband snoring while holding his phone up with his finger poised to swipe..... it's pretty powerful blackmail material.

bnotts · 26/10/2016 11:12

My DP always thought was exaggerating. We had been together 8 years and in separate rooms as I could not sleep with him. Actually anyone who stayed with us is pretty shocked by the level of snoring as you can hear it throughout the house. 2 years ago he went on camping weekend with a load of biker mates. Snored so loud the whole group couldn't sleep . As revenge they woke him in the morning by backing a bike into his tent and starting it up. They videoed it. That finally made him take it seriously! He used a snoring app which showed how often/ long/loud he was snoring , it does also record it. Weight loss and nasal strips have really made a difference.

squoosh · 26/10/2016 11:12

You're most justified.

Presumably you had mentioned his snoring to him before this? Why should you have disrupted sleep because he isn't arsed about sorting it out?

peppersaunt · 26/10/2016 11:15

I tried to yo record my DH's snoring but I couldn't adequately capture the horror...

RaingodswithZippos · 26/10/2016 11:18

To those who think the OP is being unreasonable recording the snoring - why? It is one of those things that you can't know about yourself unless someone else is there to tell you (and by recording it, showing how bad it is).

My DH used to tell me I snored like a warthog. I thought he was just winding me up, but actually I have since been diagnosed with sleep apnoea, I would stop breathing more than 200 times each night. Now I use a CPAP machine and have never felt more alert and healthier in the mornings. Without my DH nagging me, I wouldn't have gone to the doctors.

Original poster

Happyhippy45 · 26/10/2016 11:30

He scoffed when I mentioned sleep apnea. He never goes to the dr. Not even for check ups. He's probably close to being overweight but not technically obese and is otherwise healthy. Struggles to get out of bed in the morning though.
I felt a bit shitty doing it but I wanted him to hear it for his own benefit too. He does the whole stopping breathing thing now and then too. I'd really like him to get it checked out.

OP posts:

squoosh · 26/10/2016 11:32

He's the one who should be feeling shitty OP. He's being selfish. Selfish by keeping you awake with his snoring and selfish by neglecting his health.

44PumpLane · 26/10/2016 11:35

I think it's absolutely fine! He's doing something while he's asleep, therefore without you recording him he has no way of knowing if you're just being OTT or matter of fact.

Assuming you're not threatening to put it on Facebook or whip it out at the next party then I see no issue.

My DH started snoring about a year ago, it was quite intermittent, about 4 months ago he went to the docs- seems he had nasal polyps. They gave him a steroid nasal spray, now he doesn't snore anymore.

Could be as simple as that- but he needs to take it seriously and get checked out.

Original poster

Happyhippy45 · 26/10/2016 11:46

Threatening to put it on face book.......now there's an idea! 😂😂😂😂
Black mail him.
He's always snored but it's getting worse. He can snore in any position now, so no giving him a shove and telling him to lie on his side.

His dad was an epic snorer. His snores rattled the windows......and my dmil slept in another room.
When they came to stay with us they had to share a room and I'm only just now realising what she went through. She had the corners of a towel shoved in her ears.

OP posts:

Notmorecake · 26/10/2016 13:18

Record it by all means.I did and then we listened to it together in private then deleted it after i made my point as kindly as I could. Feels like you are being a bit cruel. He's probably embarrassed and you are not being very sensitive.

Original poster

Happyhippy45 · 26/10/2016 14:25

notmorecake we did listen to it in private. He has also asked me previously how loud his snoring is. This just saved me impersonating him.

OP posts:

squoosh · 26/10/2016 14:25

How is she being cruel when she did exactly what you did?

gleam · 26/10/2016 14:41

I've done this. Cruel? - ridiculous!

Dh had sleep apnoea. He doesn't now.

tigerdriverII · 26/10/2016 14:46

Get earplugs. I did about 18 months ago and (unless DH has been on the vino rosso), they block it completely. He's better rested too as I don't keep jabbing him in the ribs all night.

ICancelledTheCheque · 26/10/2016 15:23

I get woken up 4 times a night. 4 times a week would be bliss

Fortunately DH accepts it's a problem and sleeps in the double bed upstairs when SDS is out at NRPs or GPs overnight!

Definitely not BU recording him if he doesn't realise how bad it is.

OrlandaFuriosa · 27/10/2016 12:55

DH scoffed at the sleep apnoea thing until I found an excellent article in a "proper" newspaper . At which point he went. And was found to be critically short of oxygen. Yikes.

QuiltedAloeVera · 27/10/2016 13:02

My DH snores. He has refused to go to the doc.

I sleep in the spare room. He complains that he feels lonely.

Last night I caved in and slept in the marital bed. The third time he woke me up I pushed him over on to his front. He woke up briefly, but was snoring again within a couple of minutes. I retreated to the spare room.

This morning he was sad because I wasn't there when he woke up, and a bit grumpy, because I had woken HIM up, which was "a bit inconsiderate"

QuiltedAloeVera · 27/10/2016 13:04

Op, I don't think YABU to record his snoring, but if he 's anything like my DH it will make no difference.

SistersOfPercy · 27/10/2016 13:07

I've done this before.
Boot snoring throat strips quieten him a little, but we've just admitted defeat and ordered a new sofa for the lounge....with a bed
One night last week went like this........

DH: GRUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNTTT!!!
Me: You've just snorted yourself awake
DH: No I haven't!
Me: Yes, yes you have
DH: I haven't!!!
DS (in next room) You did Dad, I heard you from here

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