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AIBU?

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Original poster

Heating timer. I'm not BU am I?

34 replies

BillSykesDog · 26/10/2016 09:45

I have 11 week old twins who were premature so 6.5 weeks corrected and a 4 year old who is off school for half term and I'm on. The whole family has been away for a few days so the heating timer has just been turned to twice a day so that our pets don't freeze.

Got back last night. Woke up this morning after DH has gone to work and it's started getting really cold so I've gone to check the heating. DH has reset heating timers. But he had only reset them for the times he is in except for half an hour mid afternoon.

So twice in the morning (once before he gets up and once when he is getting ready). Plus set for just before he gets home and then once every hour and a half at least in the evening when he is back in. Plus nothing during the night because he doesn't feel cold in bed, but I think small babies need the heating on at least a couple of times in the night.

It's reminded me that he used to do the same when I was last on mat leave. If the timers ever needed to be reset just putting back the ones for when he wanted it and ignoring that we were at home all day and that babies need heat at night too.

I've put timers back on now and sent him a shitty message, but I know he's going to play the martyr and say I'm being mean to him and he's done nothing wrong.

I know I can put my times back on, but I'm not BU am I? It is bloody selfish to just sort yourself out and ignore the fact that your children need the heat even more than you do? He's so fucking tight fisted he's hoping we wouldn't notice and he can save money.

OP posts:
redskytonight · 26/10/2016 09:53

Presumably if you are in the house you can put the heating on without it being on a timer though?

I really can't see the issue - I'm at home with the DC today as it's half term, but our timer is still on for the period in the morning that we'd usually be getting up for work/school, and for the evening. Those are the periods that there is always (well nearly always) someone in the house so it makes sense to heat the house.

The DC and I will be in and out today so it makes no sense for the heating to be on all day, we'll put the heating on if we are cold.

So unless you literally sit in the house all day every day, I agree with DH's approach. Also, babies' rooms don't need heating at night..

Original poster
BillSykesDog · 26/10/2016 09:57

Yes, I do sit in the house almost all day every day. I have very small twins and at the moment it's impossible to go out for much longer than an hour close to home unless he's with me.

I'm also more often than not, not even able to get up and switch the heating on as you can't move around when you're feeding both babies.

OP posts:
Original poster
BillSykesDog · 26/10/2016 09:59

They're in our room. It gets very cold at night if you're in bed on your own.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 26/10/2016 10:00

Selfish and thoughtless. I don't blame you for being irritated. I would be too.

NickiFury · 26/10/2016 10:03

I expect you'll get some nit picking posts though. Central heating does funny things to people. I'm not joking. The angriest and scariest I have ever seen my Mum was when the bill for filling up the oil tank used to come in.

Mermaid36 · 26/10/2016 10:06

I have little ex-prem twins at home too! Our heating is on until 10am and then I make a judgement as to whether to keep it on.

I told DH that whilst I'm at home all day, I'm in charge of heating! I'm breastfeeding too, so don't want to get cold when I'm sat almost topless every couple of hours!

Skittlesss · 26/10/2016 10:08

You're not being unreasonable at all. He is. Especially having it on every hour and half... it's cheaper to just keep it set to a certain temp rather than keep firing up every 90 mins.

Nicketynac · 26/10/2016 10:08

A baby's room would need heated in Autumn and winter in our house. YANBU although I am slightly jealous of your fancy sounding heating system. Ours is much more basic andDHstillcan'tworkthetimer
If DH wants to save money on heating you could turn the thermostat down a bit.

Deux · 26/10/2016 10:11

Instead of fiddling about with on/off multiple times, can you not just set it by temperature? That way it will click off and on by itself.

But YANBU I hate feeling cold.

ageingrunner · 26/10/2016 10:15

I thought at first 'just turn the heating on then' but from what you've said about your twins, then yes he is being very selfish!!

ijustwannadance · 26/10/2016 10:19

What Deux said.

Having it switching on and off constantly constantly all day and night isn't energy efficient at all if rads are going cold inbetween. If you set a temp for daytime it will keep it constant and boiler will kick in automatically when needed.

Original poster
BillSykesDog · 26/10/2016 10:23

It's actually a very old fashioned one. It doesn't sense temperature so you can't set it at a constant temperature. It doesn't switch itself on and off depending on temperature, it either has to be manually switched on or switch on with the timer or it doesn't come on at all no matter how cold it gets.

I can switch it on when my hands are free and I have reset the timers so it comes on during the day now and twice at night. It just bloody irritates me that you would reset it but only for the times you want it even though you know someone else needs it at other times.

They're really quite refluxy too which meant they had to have their entire clothes changed this morning in a really cold house which hacked me off. Their little feet were like ice and I couldn't leave them in wet clothes. Oh well, it's warm now and they are dressed and contentedly asleep. Just annoyed me.

OP posts:
melibu84 · 26/10/2016 10:25

I don't think you needed to send him a shitty message. Sometimes people just don't think about these things, especially, in my experience anyway, men!

mumeeee · 26/10/2016 10:27

He is being unreasonable. You actually won't save money by settings the timer to come on at multiple times as then the boiler has to start again every 90 minutes or whenever it's needed
We have set our heating to come on for about an hour in the morning and again for a couple of hours in the evening. But we are all adults and would definitely have the heating on a lot more for babies.
Also we boost the heating if we get cold during the day

YelloDraw · 26/10/2016 10:28

Shouldn't keep having it kicking in and out like that - turn down the temp and keep it on for longer periods.

Buy some TRVs for all your radiators and get them fitted - have it up higher in the babies room then the other rooms.

YelloDraw · 26/10/2016 10:29

Baby's room

2kids2dogsnosense · 26/10/2016 10:39

What a twat!

He ensures that he swarm during the time he's in the house, but doesn't imagine that his wife and children might get a bit chilly? Does he expect you all to huddle together for warmth?

I'd read him the riot act - that's just bloody thoughtless!

harrypoooter · 26/10/2016 10:39

I'd be pissed off, he's set it as if he's the only person in the house. But instead of a shitty message I would have sent him one saying that you've changed it back because the twins and yourself need the house warmer. I would have sent the shitty message if he'd argued or changed it back!

Stormtreader · 26/10/2016 10:46

If hes "just trying to save money", point out that he probably doesnt really need it on in the mornings then, since he'll warm up in the shower.

AlmaMartyr · 26/10/2016 10:51

YANBU. My DH used to do similar until he started working from home occasionally. He then realised how cold the house gets during the day and stopped griping about me having the heating on.

Flingmoo · 26/10/2016 10:53

I override mine whenever I fancy it warmer.

Can you put thermometers in your bedroom, kids room and living room? That way you can see if it's dropped below a comfortable temperature and this "proves" to thermostat-obsessed spouses that it needs to be warmer Smile

We have ours set to about 18-19 degrees during the night, then about 20-21 degrees in the daytime. Sometimes I bump it up to 22 if I'm feeling really chilly.

Deux · 26/10/2016 11:03

OK. So tell your DH that you need a new thermostat. It won't be massively expensive to get someone to fit one. Ours is wireless.

If you are near a Costco they are doing a remote thermostat, I think it may be called Hive? And it comes with free installation by a British Gas engineer.

HarmlessChap · 26/10/2016 11:14

So long as you are able to turn the heating on manually I can't see what the problem is. Our heating is set like that I have a day off in the week, my DW has the normal weekend and we simply stick the heating on manually when it starts to feel cold. Might be 20 minutes to get the house starting to feel warm if we've been out for a few hours but I'd rather that than wasting energy if nobody is in.

Flingmoo · 26/10/2016 11:27

Deux the danger with a remote thermostat is that stingy husbands can turn it down remotely when you're at home Grin

TinnedChickenSoupCunt · 26/10/2016 11:29

YADNBU

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