Heating timer. I'm not BU am I?

[BillSykesDog]

I have 11 week old twins who were premature so 6.5 weeks corrected and a 4 year old who is off school for half term and I'm on. The whole family has been away for a few days so the heating timer has just been turned to twice a day so that our pets don't freeze.

Got back last night. Woke up this morning after DH has gone to work and it's started getting really cold so I've gone to check the heating. DH has reset heating timers. But he had only reset them for the times he is in except for half an hour mid afternoon.

So twice in the morning (once before he gets up and once when he is getting ready). Plus set for just before he gets home and then once every hour and a half at least in the evening when he is back in. Plus nothing during the night because he doesn't feel cold in bed, but I think small babies need the heating on at least a couple of times in the night.

It's reminded me that he used to do the same when I was last on mat leave. If the timers ever needed to be reset just putting back the ones for when he wanted it and ignoring that we were at home all day and that babies need heat at night too.

I've put timers back on now and sent him a shitty message, but I know he's going to play the martyr and say I'm being mean to him and he's done nothing wrong.

I know I can put my times back on, but I'm not BU am I? It is bloody selfish to just sort yourself out and ignore the fact that your children need the heat even more than you do? He's so fucking tight fisted he's hoping we wouldn't notice and he can save money.

He sounds like one of those blokes I read about in hear once who took the fuse to work with him!

It's a well documented phenomenon...

I agree that installing a thermostat would be a good idea. I think it should be really cheap to add one to the existing set-up. (Possibly as little as £20 for the part plus whatever the mininum charge is for getting an electrician to fit.)

So long as you are able to turn the heating on manually I can't see what the problem is.

The problem is that there's no thermostat, so unless the timer/OP switches the heating off and on several times a day, the house will frequently be too cold or too hot. Though if the weather doesn't stay a constant temperature, the timer is still going to be a poor substitute for a thermostat.

Could you install a smart thermostat? We put a Tado system in last year at a cost of £180. Rather than the situation you currently have where the boiler will fire twice a day to turn on, it keeps the house at a set temperature.

It saves money and the house is a constant temperature rather than heating it up to stifling then cooling down to freezing. The leaflets all said it would pay for itself within 12 months. I thought 'yeah right'. It actually has.

No need for shitty messages, just turn it on when you want it or re-set the timers. It's called being an adult.

Would depend what his reply is - did he just, thoughtlessly, set the timer as it always has been, and is he now really sorry that he made such a mistake?

Or does he genuinely think that only he deserves warmth and you and the babies can shiver?

Surely low temperature for two good chunks of time is more efficient?

Come on at 3am (coldest part of the night is 4am and run til 12 noon. Back on 3pm and run til 11pm.

It seems to boil down to whether he was being tight-fisted and mean, thinking to himself "well BillSykesDog and the babies can just shiver, they don't matter" or whether he was merely being thoughtless. Has he spent much time in the house during the day at this time of year, does he know it's cold? I'm rarely home during the day myself and it's not until I do a one-off wfh that I realise the sun really doesn't heat my place up much, and I would need to put the heating on if I was sat around.

So approaching him in a questioning, did-you-think-that-through way might be productive than launching straight into assuming he was being a dick. Unless he has plenty of form for just being a dick that is...