To think some people deserve a place in hell?

[Artandco]

Such as the women who was eating eggs at 8.30am during rush hour on the packed district line tube.
Upgraded the smell from sweat and germs, to sweat, germs and sulphuric eggs

Does being stuck in a chock-full train with a bunch of drunk Geordies on a stag do deciding to throw an olympic fart competition qualify? People slowly started to turn Shrek green all around... 2 years later and the memory still gets my stomach in a twist!

My worst was on the Piccadilly Line at ridiculous o'clock in the morning. I had just got in from abroad, was severely jet-lagged and everything was just that bit too bright. The (seriously unattractive, in many, many ways) couple sitting next to me were practically (and probably) doing the do. Lots of heavy breathing, slurping, erm...squelchy noises.

I felt v. and ill.

I was on a train and a wee old dear took her teeth out , laid them on the table and proceeded to gum a sandwich to death . I felt ill

I was on the Tube when a woman got a razor out and started shaving her legs. She then got a mirror and shaved off her eyebrows.

AND NO ONE EVEN LOOKED SURPRISED! That London is a mystery to me!

YANBU. A colleague used to eat stinking tinned sardines in my office (when I was out for lunch). The smell lingered for ages. Grim

I so sympathise with this.

There were a number of arseholes colleagues the University where I worked (PhD students) who would take advantage of my absence from my office (my work was largely clinic based, and I often spent my lunch hour discussing client therapy with my undergraduate students) to go into my office - which was locked to eat their Chicken McFilth burgers etc, and dump the empty cartons and coffee cups etc into my bin which was left overflowing - the room stank to high heaven.

I sent out a blanket e-mail asking whoever was doing it to stop; I told the office staff NEVER to give out a key without checking with me first (there was a spare key as I had journals in my room which people sometimes needed to access when I was on holiday etc) - it still didn't stop. Until one day I just lay in wait and caught the bastards at it. They had had a key cut! Apparently they didn't see the harm when I wasn't in the room , in using it for their breaks etc. They'd got into the habit when I'd had surgery and was away from work for a few weeks, and just decided to ignore all the messages, because - well, they were PhD students (you can trust them . . . they're nearly doctors!).

They all got a right royal bollocking and the key confiscated, and weren't allowed unchaperoned access to any of the rooms after that. Which made it hard for the office staff, as they had to break their work sometimes to accompany these entitled twats - though they were told that they could only approach the office staff to do this between certain hours. We ere all glad when they finished their courses.

AND NO ONE EVEN LOOKED SURPRISED! That London is a mystery to me!

It's a life long practice of averting eyes and tunnel vision. They may not even have noticed.

It does, doesn't it, Beauty?

I wonder what for . . . . . ? And will it one day be in the OED

'I have to "take the hamsters out"' - euphemism, 21st century London, meaning "I coughed and have accidentally shat myself. Please excuse me while I change my knickers" (Origin unknown, believed to be the Circle Line)

'AND NO ONE EVEN LOOKED SURPRISED!'

I'm a Londoner and would be thinking 'sweet actual Jesus' but you get used to having a poker face when you're out and about here. I'm sure plenty of people were horrified but didn't let on

Peeling and eating boiled eggs on a train? Some people really do live in their own little bubble

I would like an especially boiling hot place in hell to be reserved for people who will not blow their fucking noses on public transport

hard boiled eggs? At least is wasn't kedgeree!

A man boarded the tube once and sat down on my lap. There were plenty of empty seats.

Luckily it was the perfect opportunity to knee him in the bollocks. In the underneath of the his bollocks IYSWIM. I hope it hurt. And apart from my "fuck off!" no one said anything. In the whole carriage! Not a word!

I moved Oop North shortly afterwards.

I work with someone who thinks it's ok to microwave curried fish in our workplace at lunchtime (won't say what kind of workplace in case someone recognises me!). He is the big boss. We have visitors coming in every day. Lovely, welcoming smell

People who eat tuna. Especially if they heat it up in a communal microwave. Or eat it in a public place. Or drain it in the sink and leave disgusting tuna water/debris all down the sink. Or put unwashed tuna tins in the recycling bin before going home for the holidays leaving their housemate to wash out the stinky bin

As you can see, I hate tuna!

Ewwww wine what is wrong with people?! Only non-stinky foods should be microwaved in the workplace. To be honest I think having a microwave at all is a mistake as it makes the whole area smell, and few foods smell nice enough to have them lingering for hours when it's not even you eating the food.

gum a sandwich to death 😂😂

I know whatwould - seriously, everyone else just uses the microwave for bland soup etc because they are considerate....what a selfish old goat! I love fish but even I'm repulsed!

...what about the reverse, people who eat the most delicious looking and smelling food in front of you when you haven't a bean to your name, have been travelling for hours and are starving?

And then make 'yum yum' noises and faces, ignoring the fact that your dribble has practically reached your knees....

The person who used to drain sardines into the office bin in the morning which then developed a stench you could virtually see it was so bad as the office warmed up during the day.

Love the hamsters! Someone got on to the bus I was on with a huge polystyrene box of live lobsters - I know this because one tried to escape!

I think the worst I've seen on the tube was the young man with a face full of acne who was using his reflection in the tube doors as a mirror to squeeze his spots. Everyone was trying not to look in horror as jets of pus splatted against the doors.

Even the memory makes me want to chunder.

Huh. I never noticed boiled eggs as smelling of anything much. Unless perhaps they've gone bad?

Tuna, on the other hand ...

Oh hell. Confession time!

As a kid in London we were going fishing and jumped on a crowded tube. Guess who dropped the tub of maggots amongst all the standing passengers....

YANBU! I'd have had to speak up! I once sat next to a man on the bus who ate a full box of fried chicken...he was NOMMING and licking his fucking fingers SO ostentatiously I think it was deliberate.

I wanted to drown him in the bones.

Vestal you joke? They absolutely REEK! Especially when they've cooled down.

Maybe your sense of smell's not great?

that takes sporners to the next level

Vile vile vile. Don't eat on the tube. It's rank!

If you are in London, POD do a brilliant scrambled egg breakfast. You can have them with Greek cheese, fresh chilli, spinach and seeds; an Indian version with spices; a smoked salmon and pea and asparagus version - you get the picture, they are great. I have them regularly.

In the POD restaurant. No way would I make my office or anywhere else smell like rancid farts!