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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tampons and 8 year olds?

132 replies

DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 14:03

My dd has precocious puberty and started her periods 2 weeks before she was 8. She has since had 2 injections to stop it but the last one was really traumatic for her as she knew what to expect after the 1st time (large needle in bottom). I had to pin her down. So the nurse has said if she's going to be like that next time, it's probably not worth the stress for her. So if she no longer has these injections her period will come back and if she gets one while we are on holiday next year she won't be able to go in the pool/sea which will really upset her (her sisters and cousin will be going in)
So, do you think 8 (9 a few weeks after) is too young for tampons? Hopefully she will not get her period that week, but just trying to think of solutions now (I'm assuming the gp wouldn't prescribe her the period-delaying tablet)

OP posts:
GerdaLovesLili · 25/10/2016 15:45

Dammit, skipped three pages....

Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 15:45

8 is ok-ish puberty wise to start, but she started at 7 with breast growth/pubic hair, it just took so long for the referral to go through she was 8 + 1 week at referral and had had a period a few weeks before.

OP posts:
Idefix · 25/10/2016 15:46

OP it sounds as though you and dd have been through a lot recently.

As a nurse and a mum I can totally understand why you feel that it would go against the grain to have the injection again if causes such immediate distress but I would say it is worth persevering with.

The nurse you saw was not helpful in saying what she did about stopping it, she was not advocating well for your daughter when she said this. Going to assume that this was a nurse at your gps and not a specialist childrens nurse -hope this is the case--, may be worth asking if there is a children's community team who could administer the injection.

It maybe worth asking about a whether a children's nurse or play therapist could spend time with dd to explore and make sense of this situation.

Holding down a screaming, writhing little girl who is begging you not to do something is hard for all concerned but for you as a mum much more so but it is being done with the best of intentions for your dd.

I would persevere, ime it does often get better but even if it the actual procedure doesn't improve she will be more likely to to recover quickly if you can be calm, positive and yet accepting it is notnice but over quickly.

i hope it gets better op

Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 15:57

She is a children's nurse in a children's outpatient centre. I've never been through this before so took her word as gospel, but hopefully the paediatrician will disagree with her and allow her to continue.

The nurse also mentioned that the injection costs over £400 so that made me feel bad too.

OP posts:
Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 15:59

Idefix, do you mean a nurse to come out to the house to give it? Would they do that? I wonder if dd would feel more at ease at home?

OP posts:
PlumsGalore · 25/10/2016 16:06

Poor thing, I feel for you both. I wouldn't however consider tampons in one so young, no way. At 8 that would have been far more traumatic for me than not being able to go in the pool. She can still paddle to thigh height and still go in the sea.

Ketsby · 25/10/2016 16:10

A bloody Mooncup? People are talking about how difficult it will be to get a tampon inserted and someone suggests a Mooncup? I wouldn't go near one myself, they look enormous!

Yeah, frankly, I'd pin my kids down to get injections. That's pretty much how vaccination goes. If precocious puberty has all these other effects like issues with height and bone density, then yes, I will be the one making the best decision for the child.

Frankly if she can't wash her hands after using the toilet, she cannot be trusted to use tampons. The bacteria could kill her.

I am agog at the idea of women on their periods 'putting on dark knickers' and going swimming. How are you not turning the pool red? I can't even take a shower without the place looking like a serial killer's been in.

Idefix · 25/10/2016 16:11

Really shocked to hear that was a children's nurse, I would be tempted to speak to someone about that. (I give injections on a regular basis to some very unhappy/unwilling children older and younger than your dd and would never say this). As for waggling the price in front of you grrrr, she sounds pretty pants to me.

It could be the last available injection on earth and your dd is not going to say yippee lucky me, let's do it.

It is a possibility, or at least it it was for my ds when he was your dd age. We defifintely had bloods taken this way and the nurse used to bring a teddy and and go through the procedure with ds.

Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 16:14

The way she was talking was as though dd was the only kid that's ever freaked out over an injection. I'm assuming that's pretty unlikely though? Have you had a child have to be pinned down? Is it "normal"

OP posts:
Thefishewife · 25/10/2016 16:16

Periods are awful I would try the injections

If she has a accident at school then her life won't be worth living

My friend had this in year 6 we went on a school trip and she had white jeans on by the time we went round the zoo they were red the her last year at school was awful

ChipmunkSundays · 25/10/2016 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Idefix · 25/10/2016 16:21

It is very normal, where possible we would always try to explain and gain acceptance from the child but this doesn't work that often. This is why children don't get to consent as they would quite seriously say no to life saving treatment because of a short term pain.

It can help to bring a willing friend for support, both emotional and physical, plan something nice and distracting for afterwards if you can such as a magazine or trip to cafe for a drink.

I usually have a stash of stickers and balloons (even big children like these, funny face ones) and once the procedures done go into distract mode.

It does get easier as time goes by.

Idefix · 25/10/2016 16:24

Adding to what chipmunk says, if she is calm enough try toe wiggling and a strategically place phone/iPad with YouTube video is good.

I have posters and plastic figures around my room that I get children to search for Grin

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 25/10/2016 16:28

Nothing wrong imo about holding a child firmly while they are given an injection, no different than when they are babies and we do not for their inoculations- it's for their own good. Although I do appreciate those deep injections hurt a lot more.

Idefix · 25/10/2016 16:30

Don't this link might be helpful in the meantime.
www.shropscommunityhealth.nhs.uk/content/doclib/10193.pdf
Lots of helpful tips and reassuring information.

sofatrainer · 25/10/2016 16:47

Whilst I appreciate that she's not happy about the injections I think that it would be far more traumatic and embarrassing to be dealing with proper boobs and potential blood leaks. She won't appreciate that at the moment but surely some significant bribery and even some counselling to have the injection is far preferable. My DD is 10.6 and I think might be just about to start puberty. She would not have been able to handle periods at 8 and I am certain that I would have forced an injection. It's also terrible early to let her finish growing etc and in this position you're the mum and long term you will be doing her a favour

YelloDraw · 25/10/2016 16:48

Up to her if she wants to - if her body is mature enough to bleed it is mature enough to have a tampon inserted!

Charlesroi · 25/10/2016 16:51

I wouldn't try tampons at her age. As PP have pointed out they can be tricky when you are much older, never mind for an 8 year old.
I'll get my arse kicked for this but - I think you should just let her swim. Pools are chlorinated, the sea is HUGE and both have many unpleasant things dumped in them. No health issues for her or others, as far as I can see. After all, people jump in with unwashed bums/fannies/knobs and occasionally pee in pools?
Buy her a dark swimming costume and a sarong, use a pad when not in the water and let her get on with enjoying herself. Nothing bad will happen.

YelloDraw · 25/10/2016 16:51

Well that totally moved on in the 3 pages I missed!

CaptainCabinets · 25/10/2016 16:54

I started my period when I was 8. Nobody pinned me down for injections to stop them?! Confused

Are there any risks associated with these puberty-suppressing injections? How do they compare with letting nature take its course? I personally think it's unfair to make your daughter have these injections (have you ever had an injection in your bum? Fucking hurts for days afterwards!) if she doesn't want them, provided you have explained to her what periods are.

The problem here sounds like it's the hygiene. If you teach her how to take care of her developing body, I see no reason why puberty shouldn't be allowed to progress. A child who doesn't know how to keep good personal hygiene won't suddenly learn how to do it at 12, 13, whatever age you deem it acceptable for her to menstruate if you don't tell her how to do it. Doesn't take long to teach a kid to wash their hands (at 8, she should be anyway - sorry!) or have a bath more than twice a week.

Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 16:57

I have an older dd (12) and a younger dd (6) and they are both great with their hygiene. If I notice she's not washed her hands, I send her back up. She knows how, she just doesn't care.

OP posts:
Shemozzle · 25/10/2016 17:03

My daughters best friend started hers just as she turned 8, and the GP said it wasn't precocious puberty from 8. They said she could have the depoprovera contraceptive injection to stop them if really wanted but they didn't recommend because it is a lot of hormones. Sounds like the injection your dd has. I got my daughter a book on periods and in it it says that being in a swimming pool will stop you from bleeding, which was news to me, but it says periods shouldn't stop you from swimming, it's only when sitting around the pool you need to wear something apparently.

Shemozzle · 25/10/2016 17:04

Also there are long term side effects for osteoporosis associated with the depoprovera.

YelloDraw · 25/10/2016 17:07

I'll get my arse kicked for this but - I think you should just let her swim

Not in the pool because people might see, but in the sea yeah I don't see why not.

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 17:09

OP to be honest I've never loved injections and even now I freak out when I have blood taken (regular basis, thyroid condition).

But your DD will just have to get used to the injections.

My nana had osteoperosis and it's not fun going forwards as an adult to put yourself at risk.

I would try and get the nurse to come to the house - it's what they do for my step-uncle with his schizophrenia injections but that is in Ireland.

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