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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tampons and 8 year olds?

132 replies

DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 14:03

My dd has precocious puberty and started her periods 2 weeks before she was 8. She has since had 2 injections to stop it but the last one was really traumatic for her as she knew what to expect after the 1st time (large needle in bottom). I had to pin her down. So the nurse has said if she's going to be like that next time, it's probably not worth the stress for her. So if she no longer has these injections her period will come back and if she gets one while we are on holiday next year she won't be able to go in the pool/sea which will really upset her (her sisters and cousin will be going in)
So, do you think 8 (9 a few weeks after) is too young for tampons? Hopefully she will not get her period that week, but just trying to think of solutions now (I'm assuming the gp wouldn't prescribe her the period-delaying tablet)

OP posts:
Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 15:10

So Wilting would you pin your daughter down to get the injection?

On the way to get it she was a bit nervous but seemed ok, it was as soon as we went into the room she fell apart. I tried reasoning/bribing but she was having none of it.

OP posts:
Sidge · 25/10/2016 15:10

I really wouldn't be comfortable with an 8 year old using a mooncup. Tampons are reasonable but not if she has poor personal hygiene.

Regarding the injections, they have more benefits than just stopping the bleeding. Puberty at eight really isn't optimal and I imagine the doctors will want her to persevere with them. It isn't really up to the nurse whether she has them or not!

I'm a practice nurse and give thousands of injections. The ethyl chloride spray or Emla can be useful for a quick temporary numbing effect but won't stop the pain of the intramuscular injection per se. You can't just use a smaller needle as a deep IM injection needs a longer and slightly thicker needle to penetrate the muscle - you need to make sure the contents are injected into the muscle and not just the subcutaneous fat. If she's getting what I think she is, it's quite a glutinous liquid which needs to be given quite slowly and does hurt, bless her.

It's a tricky one, and may need some careful management to reduce her fear and anxiety. I'm sure the clinic doctors can point you towards play therapists or specialist nurses to support her having these injections rather than trying to teach her to use tampons at this young age.

PickledCauliflower · 25/10/2016 15:12

Tampons and mooncups are difficult to use for many early teens, if the injections are too traumatic, sanitary pads could well be the best option.
I couldn't use a mooncup as an adult to be honest! I may have a tilted womb but I can just about manage getting a tampon in the at the right angle..
I struggled with the rituals involved when I was twelve, but they kick in quickly around hygiene etc. You are obviously very supportive and she will come to you for help I'm sure. It's not an ideal situation at such a young age but it's becoming increasingly more common - from what I hear from other mums.

gillybeanz · 25/10/2016 15:14

I wouldn't let my dd use one, she started at 9. We have a history of toxic shock in my family though, so doubt she'll ever use them.

I wouldn't advise with one so young though, just in case they forget to take it out, or don't like them and pretend to you they have changed them.

PickledCauliflower · 25/10/2016 15:16

It is too easy to forget you already have a tampon in (I have done this in my 30s). I do think sanitary towels are easier for young girls to manage.

Lollipopgirls · 25/10/2016 15:16

I still find lil-lets type tampons hard to use now. They feel like they are scraping as they go in, and then I can feel them uncomfortably in place afterwards, it's hard to keep pushing until they are right up there as they are so small. Applicator tampons are a lot easier, maybe those with plastic applicators as they are very soft. But obviously you must take the doctor's opinion. Just that if they did eventually say "try tampons" and you naturally reach for the smallest ones, it doesn't mean they are the easiest to use.

Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 15:17

Just realised this is AIBU lol, thought it was chat! But thanks for the replies, given me a lot to think about. Hopefully I can convince dd and the doctor to continue them.

OP posts:
CancellyMcChequeface · 25/10/2016 15:18

I understand that there are no easy solutions here but I do think that pinning an 8-year-old girl down so that someone can stick a needle in her bottom is not on, and if done without consent is likely to cause more harm than missing out on swimming while on holiday.

In your situation I'd do my best to convince her that the injections are the best idea, but I wouldn't force it - if she doesn't want them then she'll have to use pads. Tampons would probably be difficult at that age. If she has issues with hygiene (not at all unusual at her age!) then you might need to remind her to change regularly, whether it's pads or tampons.

PickledCauliflower · 25/10/2016 15:18

And sanitary pads are much more discreet these days.
My first sanitary towel at the age of 12 came complete with a sanitary belt! They were pretty hideous things! Dr Whites I think they were called...

nagsandovalballs · 25/10/2016 15:19

I don't get the no swimming thing... I don't bother using anything but wear dark knickers and I have never had an issue. I appreciate that some women have very heavy periods for whom that wouldn't be possible, so unless your dd is soaking through pads, she should be fine. I always hated periods and find pads uncomfortable and tampons unpleasant. Now I ignore them and I'm not bothered by it physically or emotionally.

Original poster
DontOpenDeadInside · 25/10/2016 15:21

It's not just the swimming though Cancelly it's all the other things mentioned up thread, that was just what I was wondering about at the time of posting.

OP posts:
sadie9 · 25/10/2016 15:23

The choice seems to be (1) an injection that lasts less that 30 seconds, yes it's uncomfortable but for a very very short time or (2) an 8yr old managing periods, blood all over the place, feeling different to her peers, managing the hormone mood swings etc. She already has other issues to manage. Surely it'd be best to keep the periods off her plate if that's what the Docs are advising you to do.
Why is the Nurse advising you? Sounds like the Nurse is uncomfortable about causing your daughter distress. Can someone else manage her injections? They might do a better job of it.
Can you bribe your daughter with a treat or money towards something she wants for doing each injection?

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 15:27

rewards, talking to her about it, therapy re needle I think that would go a long way.

poor love though and poor you, no wonder you feel torn about it OP.

CancellyMcChequeface · 25/10/2016 15:28

Fair enough, but I still think that you need to tell her all those things, and explain that you think the injections are the best option. Be honest with her about it.

If she still refuses, obviously she feels very strongly about it and I don't think it's right to violate her bodily autonomy by forcing the issue.

wiltingfast · 25/10/2016 15:28

I would hope i had talked to and prepared my daughter so pinning wasn't necessary OP. That is what I am suggesting you do.

Menses that early is not a trivial thing. You need to be the adult here and find a way through that works for your daughter's long term health and well-being. She's 8. She doesn't understand the long term implications. You do.

steff13 · 25/10/2016 15:33

I would try to explain it to my daughter, but, if she still resisted, yes, I'd pin her down if that's what it took. I think the long-term gain of having the injections outweighs the ramifications of stopping them.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/10/2016 15:33

" I got mine st 11 and I'm a good 2" shorter than most of my peers."

But are you any shorter than would have been predicted by your parents' height Wilting? What's so awful about being 2 inches shorter than average?

trixymalixy · 25/10/2016 15:34

My kids have various health issues and at times they have had to have an injection or swallow something nasty and it's been distressing for both of us, but it had to be done.

If it was just the mess issue then I'd let her not have the injection, but it sounds like there's more to it than that so I'd be insisting she had the injection if she was my child. She's too young to be able to think through all the implications.

Yoarchie · 25/10/2016 15:36

If she's swimming in the sea, you could just get her one of those black swimsuits which have the legs like cycling shorts (look at speedo website) and let her go in the sea with no sanitary protection at all? If her period isn't that heavy, it should be fine. I'd even do that for the pool if her period is light.

This is my personal opinion and I'm not medical but I would say no tampons for her as she's so young and bad hygiene could lead to an infection. I'd go with sanitary towels. Even if her hygiene is poor, it is only blood, it will not hurt her or anyone else if she isn't brilliant with them and blood goes on her hands or legs or whatever. Additionally, no I would not pin her down for the injection because she's now 8 and I thought that puberty at 8 was within the normal range. Right at the edge but still. My own 8yo is just over 5 foot tall and I think I may be in a similar situation soon.

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 25/10/2016 15:36

I think I would go for the pinning down option but with an explanation before hand and a big treat afterwards.
My niece had cancer as a young child and her parents had to pin her down for various treatments. Sometimes it just has to be done.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/10/2016 15:38

"I don't bother using anything but wear dark knickers"

People are usually expected to wear swimming costumes to go swimming, not underwear. I miss out on swimming when my period's approaching as well, can't wear tampons until it's actually started so if I'm just waiting for it I won't join in the swimming. Even if you don't bleed in the water, what about when walking out of it?

SuperFlyHigh · 25/10/2016 15:39

Gwenhyfar

That's the thing though - if you research Precocious Puberty it's not great all round healthwise from what I read so it's not only about being shorter in height.

The OP knows she has to be the adult here.

wiltingfast · 25/10/2016 15:41

Well Gwen I'm thinking an 8yo will be a lot shorter was my point tbh.

steff13 · 25/10/2016 15:42

I just saw that it's a struggle to get her to bathe a couple of times a week. If she starts going through puberty, isn't she going to start to have body odor? I really think the injection is the best thing all around here.

GerdaLovesLili · 25/10/2016 15:43

Just noticed this...
For example, she has terrible hygiene, doesn't wash her hands after toilet etc

If this is the case, she really shouldn't be using tampons. She'll potentially give herself a terrible infection.

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