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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To quit my job over this?

44 replies

mamma125 · 23/10/2016 23:56

Work in an independent cafe, sister has gotten me the job as she works there too, one day a week job after having DD to ease me back in before full time.
Today my boss asked me to remove mouldy strawberries (and we're talking blue and green fluff, wouldn't know it was a strawberry if you weren't told kind of mould) from the top of a cupcake and replace with slightly less mouldy strawberries (went out of date on the 17th, it's the 23rd).
It's not the first time some serious food hygiene neglect has happened, and to be honest all in all the place is shoddy, the food is sub-par and everything's overpriced. Looking at the trip advisor reviews it's a miracle anyone comes in at all.
Sister still lives at home with our parents, my dad has said he'll be quite upset if I quit job because it'll reflect badly on my younger sister.
AIBU to quit over this? I'm so mortified and embarrassed to work there!

OP posts:

MsVestibule · 24/10/2016 00:00

Can you afford to leave? You certainly shouldn't stay just because it might reflect badly on your sister.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 24/10/2016 00:00

Ew.

Could you make an excuse? Say your DD isn't coping or something? You shouldn't have too but your little sister did a nice thing getting you the job. It doesn't sound like you telling them why you were leaving would make a difference anyway, if their tripadvisor is bad, they already know. You could always give environmental health a heads up.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 24/10/2016 00:02

Would you mind getting fired, so could you try speaking up first"Yuck, I'll throw those cupcakes out as they're mouldy!" type approach, before quitting? You might be able to improve standards and keep the job? If not,I wouldn't want to work somewhere I knew could make people ill.

Original poster

mamma125 · 24/10/2016 00:06

I dont work for the money at all, it's minimum wage to get both myself and DD used to the separation before starting full time work as a legal apprentice ('young' mum, didn't have a proper job before baby).
I think I will let environmental health a little warning too, I know they aren't up to date with anything.
What's really pee'd me off about it all though, is that boss had the cheek to remind us of health and food hygiene practices today!! I wanted to scream "are you f-ing kidding me?!" at him!
I almost walked out today but after texting my father and getting the response I did, I was too scared to leave. Have a very on off relationship with him and don't want to fall out irreparably with him as he's very prone to cutting family members off. Feel totally trapped!

OP posts:

ilovemyCheebie · 24/10/2016 00:07

You NEED to contact environmental health. Please do, be a good human being. Nobody is controlling your moral ground are they?

You can contact environmental health completely anonymously without any risk to your job or your relationship with your employer (which is important for your reference dont forget)

I have a food business and would never dream of serving off food, I'm shocked by what you put here that is really bad

ilovemyCheebie · 24/10/2016 00:10

you feel trapped mama125?

Bogeyface · 24/10/2016 00:11

If your dad kicks off ask him if he would rather your sister got into trouble for serving contaminated food that she knew was not fit for consumption?

NicknameUsed · 24/10/2016 00:13

I agree with ilovemyCheebie you absolutely must contact environmental health. If someone vulnerable - elderly or a child, contracted food poisoning how would you feel?

By condoning this practice you are partly responsible.

ilovemyCheebie · 24/10/2016 00:16

Yes to the comment above, mama125 you can face a hefty fine for having complied with what your boss asked of you, I know that for a fact as studied it on the fsa last recently.

Dont tell Environmental health that you complied, just tell them you are very concerned after seeing mouldy fruit being sold at the cafe

purplefox · 24/10/2016 00:16

Whether or not you leave has absolutely nothing to do with your dad. And if these people have the nerve to serve potentially illness causing food I doubt they give a shit about you leaving.

Original poster

mamma125 · 24/10/2016 00:22

Oh don't worry I've definitely just put in a complaint to food standards.

I feel I was put in a very awkward position by my boss and also by my own father who's made me feel bad for wanting to quit is what I meant by "I feel trapped"

OP posts:

ilovemyCheebie · 24/10/2016 00:24

Op do you live with your dad?

Original poster

mamma125 · 24/10/2016 00:25

Dad has said: "It's not illegal to sell mouldy food. You really should get over it and not personally sell that item. It isn't a big issue, I've worked in food lots and it's poor practice but you shouldn't be throwing away a realtively easy £100/month and the job reference which is highly desirable for getting another."
His mother, my grandmother, owned a restaurant and a catering business and I just know she'd be appalled that that! Maybe I should tell her and she'll sort him out for guilt tripping me into knowingly and consciously [potentially] harming innocent people.

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2016 00:27

yes report anonymously.

Find a new job and encourage your sister to, then just quit, if you want to.

You can say that it's not working out for you (true).

I'd tell your sister you were quitting and it has nothing to do with her, it is not her fault etc.

Why should your sister stop you from leaving. If she has a contract he cannot fire her because you left. And even if he does, there must be another job that would be better for her, she might even get food poisoning eating in the cafe!

Maybe your sister should be looking for a job that is better and you can leave together.

Re "I almost walked out today but after texting my father and getting the response I did, I was too scared to leave. Have a very on off relationship with him and don't want to fall out irreparably with him as he's very prone to cutting family members off. Feel totally trapped!"

Sorry but in your shoes I would have to do what was right and let the chips fall where they do. Don't text your dad to ask about your job.

If you are old enough to have a child you and a job you don't need to ask your dad's advice. If he does want to cut you off for such a trivial thing, is hanging onto him such a prize? Sorry, he sounds awful. You have a new baby, this should be a fantastic time of your life not one where you fear upsetting a shit boss, upsetting dad (sorry, he just sounds pretty awful) or getting your little sister in trouble!

Life is too short. But if you don't feel like this then report anonymously and hand on until it gets shut down.

Original poster

mamma125 · 24/10/2016 00:28

No I don't even live with my parents, haven't for a good four years, I live with DD on my own.

I am somewhat afraid of my dad, he's not in any way abusive but for some reason I allow him to hold a great deal of power over me. I don't want to lose the relationship my DD has with him as her father's side aren't interested in her at all.

My dear mother sides with her husband regardless of what the issue is so no help there. Sister is rather upset by it all too.

It's all been blown out of proportion

OP posts:

purplefox · 24/10/2016 00:28

How old are you?

Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2016 00:29

I meant hang on.

And I cross posted. Glad you will report.

JoJoSM2 · 24/10/2016 00:29

Speak to your sister about it. Don't just quit without her knowing.

Original poster

mamma125 · 24/10/2016 00:30

I'm 20, sister is 16.

OP posts:

ilovemyCheebie · 24/10/2016 00:34

That sounds quite sad... you seem unassertive. If your dad is the kind of person to cut of his family let him. It would be his fault an his problem not yours. You are incontrol of yourself and your actions and you should make decisions based on what you feel is right. What a shame on your dad if he decides to cut you off he sounds so silly tbh. You are letting a silly man control you..

Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2016 00:35

Re "I am somewhat afraid of my dad, he's not in any way abusive but for some reason I allow him to hold a great deal of power over me."

This sounds quite worrying, could you get some assertiveness training or visit a counseller, as an adult women your father should not still be this figure of fear in your life.

Re "I don't want to lose the relationship my DD has with him as her father's side aren't interested in her at all."

Why do you want your dd to have a relationship with a controlling man who you are afraid of? That doesn't make any sense. I would be thinking I do not want my daughter to have a relationship with such a person, regardless of whether they are related.

Re "My dear mother sides with her husband regardless of what the issue is so no help there." Your mum as an adult will need to sort herself out, I would be tempted to cultivate your relationship (and your dd's) with your mum and sister away from your dad.

Re "Sister is rather upset by it all too." Well it is understandable that she as a younger person (maybe on her first job?) would be upset but really, this sounds a dire place to work, can you not join forces and find somewhere better to work together? Maybe help her get something better.

Re "It's all been blown out of proportion" I think that should read..

"It's all been blown out of proportion by the father figure in this scenario".

Don't let him rule your life, please.

ilovemyCheebie · 24/10/2016 00:35

don't quit your job until you secured the next one

Happyhippy45 · 24/10/2016 00:40

Um....I run a food business and fucking mouldy fruit is out of order.....you need to report. A compromised immune system would not handle this.
I have one and I'd be horrified to eat what your place is serving. In fact I'd be ill for a good amount of time. Family loyalty means nothing in this scenario.

Homebird8 · 24/10/2016 04:16

Perhaps, having reported to the authorities the food standards in this place, both you and your sister should be seeking new employment. Showing your sister how to do the right thing, even under pressure from your DF to ignore the situation, is what shows me you have this parenting thing sussed. Just because she's your little sister and not your DD doesn't mean you aren't parenting her too.

NicknameUsed · 24/10/2016 07:07

"Dad has said: "It's not illegal to sell mouldy food"

It is illegal to sell food that is unfit for human consumption

Food Safety Law

"Article 14 states that food shall not be placed on the market if it is unsafe. Food is deemed to be unsafe if it is considered to be:

injurious to health
unfit for human consumption"

Consequences:
"Regulation 4 creates criminal offences for breaches of Articles 12, 14(1), 16, 18(2) or (3) and 19 of the General Food Law Regulation (EC) 178/2002.

Regulation 5 lays down the penalties for the breaches of the articles listed above:

on conviction in a Crown Court, a fine or imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years or both
on conviction in a Magistrates’ Court, a fine or imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or both"

It is your moral and legal responsibility to report and then distance yourself from this mess.

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