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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be feeling overwhelmed

58 replies

pumpkinpiesforsupper · 23/10/2016 19:34

I am heavily pregnant, I also have a 1,3 and 4 year old and I just can't keep a show house at all times, I'm so exhausted everyday from this and now I'm at breaking point. Now I'm on ML
I just want to be able to have a PJ day or not have to run around the house cleaning up every toy and hoovering after breakfast lunch and supper. But my landlord just turns up with no notice to do things around the house, I've called my estate agents and they've done nothing to stop it and I just feel so depressed and exhausted at keeping this up.

I was bathing my 1 year old on Friday morning so couldn't leave him to answer the door and when the LL came back he made jokes about me having something to hide. Ahhh I just want to cry

I've never been an anxious person but I'm

OP posts:

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 23/10/2016 20:04

It isn't his home it is yours, you have paid him for it's exclusive use. Until your contract ends he cannot enter without your permission.

I would get a chain for the door and remove it when you leave. I would send a letter to the estate agents telling them why this has been necessary, as they have failed to enforce your legal right to quiet enjoyment. I would also state that any future visits without 24 hour notice and consent will result in the police being called.

He probably thinks they wouldn't throw him out of his own house, but if you show them your tenancy agreement they will. I hope it doesn't come to that as he would be unlikely to renew your tenancy, but it is simply not safe for a stranger to have access to you and your children's home, even if he is your landlord. You have to stay safe, so no more visits.

BolivarAtasco · 23/10/2016 20:05

He climbed through the window??! What the actual fuck!? I'm a LL and that is appalling behaviour. He does not have the right to do this, OP. Please speak to Shelter and get some advice.

SooBee61 · 23/10/2016 20:06

Put a chain on the front door. No lock changing involved and he can't object to that. Make sure windows are closed! This man sounds unhinged.

Homebird90 · 23/10/2016 20:06

Send a neutral but assertive letter stating that he must give the required amount of notice otherwise you'll be giving him notice to quit the tenancy.

If this is ignored send another saying that any further disturbance will be treated as harassment and reported to the police.

I would consider moving if you don't feel safe. You shouldn't have to, he's the one in the wrong. But if he's overstepping these pretty simple boundaries of decent behaviour he might not heed any advice.

ijustwannadance · 23/10/2016 20:07

Can you be sure he never let himself in while you were at work?.

Mess due to playing children shouldn't make any difference to a landlord. You are not damaging the property. Does he want you out?

TheCatsMother99 · 23/10/2016 20:08

OP shouldn't have to keep her windows closed although I get your sentiment.

I hate to think how stressed you are about this, Thebooks, I know I wild be.

Homebird90 · 23/10/2016 20:09

And you shouldn't have to keep your windows shut to stop someone jumping through them ffs. How can anyone live like that?!

exWifebeginsat40 · 23/10/2016 20:10

is your landlord Dracula? because if your landlord is Dracula things will probably not improve much.

FarAwayHills · 23/10/2016 20:10

OP what does your DH say about the LL and the distress this is causing you? Does he come round when your DH is there or just when he knows he's at work? I suspect he wouldn't just let himself in while there was another man in the house. This needs to be resolved before the baby arrives as you will need your peace and privacy even more during this time. I suggest a letter and a sting word from your DH.

FarAwayHills · 23/10/2016 20:10

*strong

Homebird90 · 23/10/2016 20:13

Or a strongly worded letter from a solicitor.

Serialweightwatcher · 23/10/2016 20:14

You definitely need to get this solved because you have enough on without the stress of this on top - would it be possible to get a letter from the GP or midwife and ask your DH to talk to him, maybe both of you be there and say this isn't on at all and something needs to be sorted out so you don't feel so uncomfortable. What the heck does he need to do every 5 mins anyway? Sounds like a weirdo or doesn't want the house rented anymore - whichever way it needs sorting and your DH needs to stand up to him and be firm

0SometimesIWonder · 23/10/2016 20:18

Op,
Start a thread on MSE on the "HouseBuying, Renting and Selling" Forum.
There are some very knowledgeable people on there.

TheCatsMother99 · 23/10/2016 20:19

Sorry to bombard with questions, just trying to get my head around it, did your LL live in the property before and can't detach from it so still feels as though he lives there in some ways?

MatildaTheCat · 23/10/2016 20:20

Absolutely not allowed. Get a copy of your tenancy agreement and highlight the appropriate section. Usually you will have agreed to periodic inspections with an agreed period of notice.

I am LL to my own son and would not enter my property without his permission because right now it is his home.

Double lock the door in the meantime and if he calls shout it isn't convenient and he should email you in future to arrange any emergency repairs.

It is not his home.

Onlyonce · 23/10/2016 20:22

Go to your local citizens advice bureau. And also see if your local council has a private sector housing officer.

Onlyonce · 23/10/2016 20:22

The private sector housing officer may be able to clarify what is and isn't acceptable. Worth a try

Original poster

pumpkinpiesforsupper · 23/10/2016 20:25

He owns all of the houses on our row. But he hasn't lived in any of them, the rest are sharers houses and this is the only family home.

He lives in a nice house somewhere else.

I spoke to DH, and he said it's too late to complain now that would just get us thrown out as LL classes himself as a friend.

OP posts:

YeOldMa · 23/10/2016 20:27

I'd be concerned if I was you too. Your LL is being totally unreasonable but the fact that even the estate agents find him over powering is very worrying. It might be worth talking to the police just to make sure he hasn't got a record for harassment or stalking. They won't give you info but they might warn him off.

I give my tenants at least 7 days notice unless it is an absolute emergency. There is absolutely no reason for him to keep turning up. It might be worth paying a solicitor just to write one letter pointing out his responsibilities to you as the tenants.

ConvincingLiar · 23/10/2016 20:35

You could go for the middle ground which would be to write him thanking him for being so attentive and proactive in dealing with issues that might arrive BUT you are satisfied that everything is fine and unless there is a genuine emergency, you do not wish to have any visits at all in the next 4 months given your impending arrival. After that you would be happy to arrange visits at a mutually acceptable time (x days notice is likely to be sufficient).

WhatchaMaCalllit · 23/10/2016 20:35

Not too late to put in writing the following and send it recorded delivery to both the landlord and to the agent.

You are entitled to quiet enjoyment of the property.
On X and Y dates in the past the Landlord has entered the property without your permission
if this is to continue you will seek legal advice
Landlord is to arrange by email any future visits and if there is no permission by the occupants given for the times alternatives will be put forward but under no circumstances is he to enter the property except by prior arrangement.

If you have a solicitor, you could get their advice on where you stand and where the LL stands on what could be seen as trespassing.

Wauden · 23/10/2016 20:36

Landlord keeps dropping in, where there are several children, around, seems suspicious to me. He knows you cannot be with all the children at the same time when he comes in unannounced. I could be wrong, however, be careful.

ANewStartOverseas · 23/10/2016 20:40

Could you get some legal advice on that?
Often you do get some legal support with house insurance or Which magazine also has a legal helpline with the magazine (not that expensive in itself).

I think you need to really have a look at your rights there, keep a very precise records on when he is just entering the property without your agreement at the very least.
TBH, I would find that VERY creepy.

Serialweightwatcher · 23/10/2016 20:41

It's never too late to complain, especially when it is obviously upsetting you. If he classes him as a friend, then he should tell him you're exhausted, not wanting unannounced or otherwise visitors, and he needs to explain why he needs to get in and DH can arrange to be there - DH sounds like he needs a backbone sorry to say

Original poster

pumpkinpiesforsupper · 23/10/2016 20:44

Me and DH have had a little argument tonight.

As when he turned up Friday to do some garden work, I said oh if you want to come for the indoor work on Monday or Tuesday that's fine just let me know. He said ahh I'll just come whenever. DH just didn't back me up.

OP posts:

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