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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave hungover DH with baby?

77 replies

luckylucky24 · 23/10/2016 10:05

DH agreed to have 1yr old today but went to a wedding last night and is hungover. I expressed my frustration at not being able to go shopping as planned today (he didn't get me a birthday present so this was to be it - shopping alone without the children) and he said "just take the kids down stairs and when I have been sick i'll be fine".
AIBU to think he is not in a fit state to care for a one year old but leave him to do it anyway?
I have arranged DS to go to his Grans (she cannot have 1 yr old) and will prepare her lunch so he cannot claim he "didn't know what to feed her".
Rescheduling isn't really an option as we have plans most weekends between now and xmas. I also feel I shouldn't have to as I have had the kids alone for the last 24 hrs so he could go to this wedding, even gave him a lift at 9am to his mates and in return I get let down!
Would you just go?

OP posts:

icanteven · 23/10/2016 10:29

We've all been there. He won't die. Off you go!

Do you think that if you were hungover he'd cancel his golf (or whatever) to hover over you with cups of tea, and feed the baby?

StealthPolarBear · 23/10/2016 10:29

Why beer?

Original poster

luckylucky24 · 23/10/2016 10:31

Beerbelly - so do women. This was my opportunity to do just that. They are far less frequent for me than him!

OP posts:

NoIsAnAnswer · 23/10/2016 10:31

I hope you're getting your shoes on op

CheckpointCharlie2 · 23/10/2016 10:32

I would go as long as you can trust him not to fall asleep.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/10/2016 10:34

Go. Go! He'll just have to be a parent with a headache.

Original poster

luckylucky24 · 23/10/2016 10:34

I am going. He says he will be fine. I am not going to rush back either.

OP posts:

EveOnline2016 · 23/10/2016 10:35

When I go out I make sure there are no plans for the next day.

haveacupoftea · 23/10/2016 10:35

Let him get away with this and he'll do it again. He'll probably break other promises again too. Give him hell. I get so pissed off when men use being a man as an excuse to be irresponsible.

FourToTheFloor · 23/10/2016 10:36

Yep go. 3 hours is nothing. I survived all day last week with both dd1 and myself vomiting while minding dd2 and dh was able to come home half an hour earlier from work.

Why is it us women just have to fucking carry on but men don't

BIWI · 23/10/2016 10:37

Fuck off Beerbelly. Have reported you and your other vile posts.

Trifleorbust · 23/10/2016 10:37

Unless he is in danger of imminent collapse, go and don't feel guilty. How many times have you looked after your DC when you didn't feel well? It won't kill him.

MangoBiscuit · 23/10/2016 10:37

BeerBelly79 no, not "every man", and not at the expense of his wife's plans. Especially when she's made them in lieu of him doing anything for her birthday!

OP, in your shoes, I would feed / dress the little one, plate up a snacky lunch and pop it in the fridge (telling DH it was there), give DH a coffee and paracetamol, then give the little one all the pots and pans and a couple of wooden spoons. Shout a cheery, "I've set up and activity for DD, should hopefully keep her happy for a while. Have fun darling!" and head on out.

haveacupoftea · 23/10/2016 10:38

beerbelly had it ever occured to you that wives need to let off steam too, but don't get to, because of shitty husbands who dont bother to pull their finger out to care for their own children?

jayisforjessica · 23/10/2016 10:40

I have zero sympathy (and SEVEN WHOLE ANGER) for people who go out and drink themselves stupid, then want to be let out of the commitments they knew damn well they had the next day. I get this at work all the time. You know you work an eight hour shift every Saturday, so grow up and stop drinking yourself stupid on Friday night and then expecting me to cover your work while you either call in sick, or drag yourself in and spend half the shift leaning on the counter, the other half hugging the toilet!

Sorry for the rant, but your DH has been a selfish prick. It isn't as if you sprung this day on him. He knew damn well what his commitments were today and he chose to get blotto anyway.

DD will be fine :) It's only three hours, after all. You deserve time out. And he deserves to lie in the bed he made. He's not the babysitter, he's her father, and it's time he pulled on his big boy pants and started acting like it. "Doesn't know what/when to feed her" my eye. He sounds like a gormless feck.

StartledByHisFurryShorts · 23/10/2016 10:42

I was originally a bit concerned because he was throwing up. That's quite unusual for a hangover, isn't it? I've had my share but I don't think I've ever thrown up the next morning.

But if he says he'll be fine, then go for it. It was always going to be a risk given that he was a wedding last night. And tell him to make sure he feeds his own children. That's pretty much the absolute minimum when it comes to parenting.

tibbawyrots · 23/10/2016 10:43

I really wish you would say what you think, JayisforJessica this sitting on the fence is really not good!

jayisforjessica · 23/10/2016 10:46

I know. Them as sits in the middle of the road is the first to get run over, as they say :P I will try to be more assertive in future, tibbawyrots. Can you forgive me this moment of wishy-washyness??

StealthPolarBear · 23/10/2016 10:46

I'm surprised a post saying "men need to let off steam " has been deleted. No personal attacks. Which mn rulw did it break?

LucyFuckingPevensie · 23/10/2016 10:47

He will be fine, your DH said when I have been sick I I'll be fine, not I am really rough and will puke all day.

I know it's not ideal, but it's not a deal breaker either.

I am a bit like your DH and am sometimes sick the day after drinking, I know I will feel better afterwards. With me It isn't even to do with how much I drink. I have been really restrained and still have been sick.

He can have a nice cuddle up with your 1 year old, I am sure it will be ok.
Go out and enjoy yourself, have lunch out and a nice glass of wine to go with it, don't rush.

jayisforjessica · 23/10/2016 10:48

The rule of common flipping sense, I'd say. Saying something that asinine and sexist in a forum full of women with brains in their head is frankly insulting.

tibbawyrots · 23/10/2016 10:51

I will try to be more assertive in future, tibbawyrots. Can you forgive me this moment of wishy-washyness??

Of course. Once you've taught me all you know! :)

rainbowstardrops · 23/10/2016 10:52

I second the idea of setting up a pots and pans and wooden spoons activity before you breeze out of the door. Genius!

StealthPolarBear · 23/10/2016 10:53

Better to challenge these sorts of ideas I'd say and I'm sure mn used to agree

Lorelei76 · 23/10/2016 10:54

He has two kids and doesn't know when to feed them?

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