DH refusing to come to a christening with me

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Is anyone else's partner difficult when it comes to attending social occasions with you? To be clear my DH is very very sociable when it's his friends and family. When it's mine it's a different story. He's generally fine with my family but not as forthcoming as I would like. We live in the same town as his family where he grew up. Mine live hundreds of miles away. When they visit he always says he will join us "if I'm not busy". I think that's just a way of not committing. He always comes along in the end but there's a battle beforehand where I try and get him to say that yes he will actually come.

The latest is my best friend had a baby not so long ago. She lives in the town where I'm from. He said " I suppose this means another christening then?" I said yes it does and he said " please don't make me go!" Reasons are petty IMO he didn't like the food at the last one etc. I've told him its half a day and he should come. I go to any event with him and they're not all five star glamour not that I give a fig! I've told him these people are my closest friends they mean a lot to me and I want him to come. He's saying "we can talk about it nearer the time." I feel like telling him to get stuffed and telling him he's not invited anymore but I don't think he would feel guilty he just wouldn't come.

And my friends all make an effort and are very welcoming and as I say he is the most sociable person I know.

AIBU to make him (not that I can but I could put pressure on) come to this event?

One of my dearest relations, an uncle by marriage, didn't do events- I'm not sure I ever saw him away from home (farmer) I know my aunt found it a trial occasionally, but her children accompanied and he was much loved in the wider family. So long as he's hospitable when people come to visit you I don't think it's a deal breaker.

He doesn't want to do things that you want to and is a selfish arse.
Does he expect you to go to events you aren't keen on? He isn't going to change, this is who he is.

Hundreds of miles for a christening, no thanks.

DH knows I only attend where the baby will actually be raised in the church, the majority of christening are about the parents wanting a "do" and gifts.

I'm anti-christenings and have managed to swerve 5 of DH's family's ones so far. Being dragged to one tomorrow. I absolutely hate them, so IMO YABU.

Well I would see it like this, if you bother your arse going to his family do's then he should bloody well go to yours.

This person is important to you so in my eyes he should make the effort and go with you.

Is there not a handsome old flame who could suddenly be going and looking forward to seeing you...just might make him think what you will be doing with out him...I'm half joking.hes being a tad unfair really

I had an ex-p like that. Rarely came to any events with my family and friends but expected me to always accompany him to "his" events. I ended up not enjoying events when he was there as I was always conscious that he was there under sufference. Solo events were equally tricky as I felt whatever excuse I gave (including he's an antisocial arse) kind of implied that he didn't like them and when he did come people were often standoffish towards him which just made it worse. Always being solo at events when you are supposed to be a couple is pretty shit. After we broke up and I went back to being happily single friends and family were always saying how I'd been a shadow of my former self when I was with him and that they felt they'd got the old me back.

I've had this on a much smaller scale. Its embarrassing having people ask where partner is.
Told him to sort himself out and put some effort in otherwise i would be going to gatherings as single mum.

I think the people saying the op could go alone and have fun are missing the point. Yes, she could, but this isn't a one off, this is a pattern of behaviour where he never wants to attend 'her side' functions, which means he will never really get to know her friends and family, and never properly integrate into her life.

And at the same time as refusing to share part of her life and the things that matter to her, he is insisting she become part of his life and the things that matter to him.

Wanting as a couple to be part of each other's lives and there for the big events that matter to each other is not about being 'joined at the hip' or 'worried about appearances' or any condescending crap like that.

My husband and I are perfectly happy to spend time apart, we are often off doing different activities, but if there was an event that mattered to me, my husband would want make the effort and be there for me - no matter how little the actual event appealed (and I'd do the same for him).

My OH is just like this. I find it frustrating and think he comes across as rude - but I've actually realised over time, that he gets extreme anxiety when out of his comfort zone.

I don't push him, and just accept it.

butterflies I agree with you completely. We are a very independent couple, often out individually socially, even living apart for work reasons on occasions, but we go to important (for each of us) events together if the other wants us to go. Even if we are not fussed about the event, we would usually like the opportunity to go away together, perhaps stay in a cheap hotel, just potter round together. We would go, chat about the event, gossip about my relations, generally have a fun time. He sounds like he likes having fun if it involves him and his family/friends but not otherwise and that wouldn't be ok for me.