Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not make an effort with my appearance when clothes shopping

55 replies

TequilaSetAWatchman · 22/10/2016 13:54

On Thursday I had the day off and DH had a dentist appointment in a nearby town so I went with him so I could run some errands. I'd just thrown on some (old) chinos, a hoodie and trainers and was wearing no make up. I didn't do my hair so it was probably a bit messy. I finished my jobs before he was done so popped in a few upmarket boutiques to pass the time. As it happened there wasn't anything I liked, but I was looking for something for a wedding next weekend, so would have bought if I'd seen something good.

In Whistles, I noticed the shop assistant look me up and down with a disgusted look on her face. I was mostly amused by her blatency - I don't really care what she thought. But it did remind me of a time in Reiss a couple of years ago, where I was dressed similarly and got the same snotty look. (That time I was shopping for a new work wardrobe and turned on my heel and promptly went down the road to another shop where the assistant was happy to help, and I ended up spending quite a lot there. I haven't set foot in Reiss since.)

It did make me wonder whether I should generally make more of an effort on the rare occasions when I go into nice clothes shops. I scrub up ok if I put the effort in, but frankly if it's just me and DH and I'm not expecting to see anyone I know I can't be bothered to dress nicely or do hair and make-up. Is that normal?

OP posts:
strugglingbutsurviving · 22/10/2016 15:37

I don't often dress up or make a huge effort when I go shopping but then I tend not to shop in very posh shops. I admit I would feel intimidated in a posh shop unless I had made an effort but that is just me? I wouldn't say you are BU.

rogertherabbit · 22/10/2016 15:41

I had this with a car once. Was looking with a friend of similar age, I was dressed in jeans and a fleece or something. I was probably early twenties at the time. Found a lovely convertible I loved, was sitting in it on the showroom floor and some snooty sales man comes over a made a comment like 'that costs a lot of money' whilst looking me and my friend up and down. Little did he know I had a large some of money in the bank just for this car purchase. I was so shocked at his attitude and felt embarrassed, so we just left. I should really have complained about him and his attitude, but I was a bit young and naive, and just decided he was a tosser and wasn't getting any money from me. He definitely judged my age and appearance and decided I couldn't afford his snazzy car

daisypond · 22/10/2016 15:57

If I'm going clothes shopping I deliberately wear clothes that are the easiest to take on and off - a skirt and a T-shirt if it's summer, definitely not jeans, but that's because it takes me longer to get them on and off. If it's winter, I'll be in loose trousers and a top. I don't care what the shop assistants think. I don't wear make-up ever.

liletsthepink · 22/10/2016 16:01

Op, your money is as good as anyone else's and it's a foolish shop assistant that turns down any potential sale no matter what the customer looks like!

IcedVanillaLatte · 22/10/2016 16:06

I judge people who try on clothes

a) unwashed
b) washed but wearing masses of perfume/deodorant
c) wearing makeup to try on clothes that pull over the head.

I hate it when I want to try on or buy something in a shop and it's covered in someone else's smells or makeup.

Anything else - meh.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/10/2016 16:10

Well I think you did well to merit a mocking look at all OP, so many of the complaints on here are that shop assistants don't even notice them.

SouthWestmom · 22/10/2016 16:16

Hmmm.

I suspect it's just people feeling they can't afford it, don't look right tbh.

Wearing skinnies and Vans in John Lewis is totally and utterly unremarkable.

If you look like you might not be a time waster (e.g. Jeans that are a brand and a decent handbag etc) no one cares. If you're dressed in primark looking at 100 plus t-shirts chances are they are right.

JaceLancs · 22/10/2016 16:20

I always wear comfy shoes, a plain top or t shirt and well fitting jeans or trousers
I don't care what shop assistants think if I wish to buy something am sure my money is as good as anyone else's
Plain top or tshirt is so that I can see what a jumper or cardigan would look like over it, if I'm buying tops I like to see the fit with the sort of clothes I would wear with it
Comfy shoes essential as I can shop all day.......
The only time I have ever experienced a pretty woman moment was in an expensive jewellers in London, it was a wet day and I was rather bedraggled with a raincoat on - they soon changed expression when they saw some of my other jewellery - pity they no longer had anything I felt that inclined to buy

daisypond · 22/10/2016 16:26

Noeuf - I don't think it helps to say jeans that are a brand and a decent handbag are indicators of a non-timewaster. Brand jeans are the biggest of all cons. Aren't Primark's jeans meant to be better than most brands anyway? And what counts as a decent handbag?

Purplebluebird · 22/10/2016 16:31

I have seen this look of disgust when shopping with a well-off friend of mine. It wasn't even a super expensive shop! My friend was wearing ripped jeans and a short jacket, looking trendy but not posh. The clothes she was wearing cost more than the clothes in the shop we went to, yet one of the shop ladies were utterly disgusted at the idea of my friend being there. I was wearing smart clothes and didn't get the same look.

Anyway, I put makeup on and brush my hair etc, when going clothes shopping. Not so much for anyone else's benefit, but because then I feel happier when trying stuff on! If I look scruffy, I will feel that whatever I try on is not flattering.

MrsSchadenfreude · 22/10/2016 16:42

Oh yes, the car thing... A few years ago, I went out looking at 4 wheel drives, and got treated like shit by the man at one place- rude and patronising, wouldn't even tell me the price of the car I was interested in, but was all over my male friend like a rash. Positively fawning. My friend actually said to the sales rep "It's her you want to be schmoozing, mate, she's looking to buy several cars for our overseas office." His face was a picture. We went to another place where they were more than helpful and got our business.

Justjoseph · 22/10/2016 16:49

Very rare for me to go shopping as the internet is so good now.

If I go shopping I do make an effort though, mainly because I would go to a city and that is full of young attractive people. Usually I'm quite relaxed as I live in the sticks and walk the dogs.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/10/2016 16:50

DH and I work from home, we are mostly in jeans and T shirts and trainers. We have never had any problem getting car sales staff or shop assistants to fawn all over us. I think it's a lot to do wth how you carry yourself to be honest.

SouthWestmom · 22/10/2016 17:19

Daisy, if you think that like you're not likely to be buying high street designer/designer clothes are you?

BowieFan · 22/10/2016 17:29

I have a friend who always dressed in clothes that made him feel comfy despite him being very very well off. He took great delight in letting shop assistants be sarcy with him and whisper about him, and then pulling out a Coutts bank card and saying "Actually I think I'll leave it" and toddling off to his Rolls Royce outside. Grin

hotdiggedy · 22/10/2016 17:31

I'm not a fancy dresser and have experienced this a couple of times. The one that stands out is an independent shoe shop where the 2 assistants couldn't have been more than early 20s. I wasn't buying bit I was with my trendy sister who was (prob didn't realise we were together). I was sitting waiting for her and glanced around to see them looking at me in a repulsed way and whispering to each other and giggling. I felt so uncomfortable and bad because I thought I was dressed ok that day. I never went back in again. Shame as some of the shoes were nice.

TroysMammy · 22/10/2016 17:34

I wear comfortable clothes when shopping, jeans, trainers for example but if I go clothes shopping for say a dress, I always take heels and tights in a bag. Nothing worse standing in panda patterned socks trying to imagine the whole look.

ArgyMargy · 22/10/2016 17:34

When this happens, I just think it's hilarious. Retail pay rates are about as low as you can get. There is just no way a shop assistant will ever have as much money as me (and I don't mean that in a nasty way) so if they want to sneer that's just fine. It's a bit like when I get cut up by a man driving a white van - that's OK by me because ultimately I don't have to drive a white van for a living.

NavyandWhite · 22/10/2016 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorrisZapp · 22/10/2016 17:45

Don't ever go shopping in Italy. It's like an episode of the Krypton Factor, the prize being acceptance by shop assistants.

PNGirl · 22/10/2016 18:19

If I go clothes shopping it's normally an afternoon or day out involving coffee or lunch, so I usually sort my curly hair out, pop some makeup on and a top/jeans/jacket I like. If I'm going to Asda I'll sport a hoodie and a messy bun.

Shop assistants obviously shouldn't judge on appearance regardless. When we turned up at the showhouse for our current home to have a look, at 29, in jeans and hoodies, the saleswoman assumed we were first time buyers being nosey. She obviously didn't believe us when we told her we'd been homeowners for 5 years - til the next week when we turned up again to say we'd sold for a profit and made an offer!

flirtygirl · 22/10/2016 18:59

I cant believe how many people doubt this happens, it does and im well dressed mostly but always notice the difference when im not.
Some shop assistants are so up themselves , so yes i will avoid karen millen, reiss and even zara in a town near to mine. I vote with my feet.

OhTheRoses · 22/10/2016 19:24

When we bought our last house I did the first once over. Often in a nine year old ka and from work and as I work in education am never particularly well dressed.

More than once an estate agent rather snottily said "and have you mortgage plans". I loved just saying "No" and watching them glaze over in exasperation. "We can use our mortgage broker, he'll work out what you can afford". It was so nice to be able to say "no need, we're paying cash, yes you did hear me right and no it isn't dependent on a sale.

Funny how their tone changed after that.

GreyHare · 22/10/2016 19:55

Having worked in a posh shop, I learnt very quickly that the true proper wealthy folk amongst us dress like tramps, designer tramps but tramps nonetheless, I found the overdressed overstyled person was the one to avoid as they tended to just waste time and would only purchase when items were on the final reduction rail.

BowieFan · 22/10/2016 19:56

Yep it totally happens. As an aside, I've always found shop assistants in "nice" shops are very nasty. They seem to think they're the actual designers, despite being on about 6 quid an hour.

Swipe left for the next trending thread