Partner turned down job!

[MrsB44]

Hello!
We've recently found out I'm expecting our first baby in May.
Coincidentally my partner has been offered a new job with a pay rise of about £7500 per year. All wonderful news... except he's turned it down!
I'm really annoyed because when I go on maternity leave money is going to be very tight! He seems to think I'm being unreasonable by saying I'm not planning on going back to work till January 2018 (8 months mat leave- I didn't think this was unreasonable)
He's a chef and says that the new job doesn't appeal to his creative side because it's banqueting and he currently works in a prestigious fine dining restaurant (which he comes home from every night to tell me how much he hates) I'm being a bit of a bitch but frankly when we have a family to feed I don't care about bloody creativity I care about full bellies and a roof over our heads!
He's also tried to say he's scared it's not a secure job - it's a multi national company which has contracts for wedding venues, race courses, sports hospitality etc so I don't believe this for a second.
I feel like he's not understanding that we will be totally skint with a new baby, a mortgage and two (overly expensive) vehicle finance agreements which we can't get out of for another two years hanging over us! (Baby is making an appearance about 3 years earlier than intended- i wouldn't have bought a silly car if I realised what was in store)
What should I say to him to help him understand why I'm so angry / upset with him?

And 11% National Insurance! Which brings it down to £430.

PP may have been factoring in 9% student loan and a percentage to a pension which would make it less than £350 but OP's DH may not have these.

*OP: AIBU

MN: Yes

OP: No I'm not *

Yawn. There's a post like this in every bloody thread in AIBU at the moment. What do people expect - that the OP will completely change their view and fold like a domino?

Use shared parental leave. To oldies like me, who were having babies in 1990, you've got things pretty good. You have the right to transfer some of your ML to your dh- which completely makes sense as you're the higher earner. Or alternatively, take a shorter ML as you're so worried about your income dropping. 8 months isn't compulsory- we oldies took 12 weeks (yes and bf too, so don't use that as a reason for needing so long off)

You are being completely unreasonable. Work is a big part of life and it's completely unfair to push your partner into something that he isn't comfortable to do.

I can see that it must be a tad irritating if he's moaning about his current job- but sometimes people apply for other things thinking the grass is greener, and then realise it isn't. He may even feel more positive about his currrent job now he's seen the alternatives

Something doesnt add-up here ... I have never once been pressured by my wife to take this job or that ... it would never cross either of our minds to significantly influence each others work choices...
Also if what you are saying is true ... he hates his current job ... but still wants to stay there ... despite a decent pay rise ... then there is something or someone else possibly keeping him there

he hates his current job ... but still wants to stay there ... despite a decent pay rise ... then there is something or someone else possibly keeping him there

Or you know, as his DP is pregnant he would rather stay in a secure job he knows rather than go to one that he doesn't want and as far as employment rights he will have very few.

How were you planning to manage the cost of maternity leave before the 7.5k payrise was on the cards?

I suggest you answer the above question and go back to that plan.

What would be the plan if this job never existed in the first place?

OLDFossil

What are you trying to imply? Or stir up?

Lots of people come home and moan about work. Because it's work not pleasure. That doesn't mean it would be sensible to switch to an even less satisfactory job.

OPS husband has explained very clearly why he does not want to take the job he has been offered.

Sounds like you are panicking a bit op about cash flow but as people have pointed out you were fine with his wage before. I get panicking. I did the same despite having budgetted careful with dh.

Moneysavingexpert is good for cutting costs and we've gone to charity shops and shops with sales to cut costs. Newborns don't need much, car seats are most expensive I found. The biggest cost is childcare and by then you'll both have wages coming in.

Sign up to all the supermarket baby clubs and mothercare for savings too.