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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel uncomfortable with this stand up to cancer a thon

75 replies

PlayOnWurtz · 21/10/2016 23:21

It's just gay men perving over pretty men isn't it. Imagine if women were asked to strip or were told people would be queuing to see them because they were good looking.

I get what they're trying to do but feel how they're going about it isn't right

OP posts:

PoppyPicklesPenguin · 22/10/2016 00:40

As for the 16m

Maybe it will help formulae a similar vaccine to the "cervical cancer vaccine"

This stops two types of HPV responsible for 70% of cervical cancers. I think if it goes someway towards doing something like this then it's a start

WorraLiberty · 22/10/2016 00:41

Yeah right but I'm not sure what that has to do with your previous post Helena.

People's prejudice surrounding the reasons some people may or may not have gained weight, doesn't make the lack of mention about steroids and weight gain disingenuous.

I suppose they could have added a "By the way, some people gain weight due to steroid treatment" disclaimer but I think that would probably get lost in the far more important message that treating cancer saves lives.

HelenaDove · 22/10/2016 00:41

Poppy they cant have it both ways.

HelenaDove · 22/10/2016 00:43

Worra its the reason im going to donate. Because they are researching and trying to come up with better treatments.

Nicknacky · 22/10/2016 00:44

stop, we were warned that the hospice was likely to be full although my mum dint want to stay there anyway and long story short, but circumstances meant she died at home. We got very little help at all when she was in hospital for pneumonia I asked three times for palliative care to come talk to us. They never did but they did speak to my mum who had advanced brain cancer with no memory. So that was helpful.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

Nicknacky · 22/10/2016 00:46

I'm not actually as bad at spelling or grammar as it appears but iPad plus wine doesn't help!

HelenaDove · 22/10/2016 00:47

nacky stop Im sorry for your losses

ToujeoQueen · 22/10/2016 00:47

I'm so sorry about your mum Nicky and the lack of support you were both offered

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 22/10/2016 00:48

My dad actually had a fast death and I am eternally grateful for that . I just feel so gutted that despite all the resources you had to deal with it on your own .
It's all too raw for you - but I guess despite the annoyance they do make inroads but I 10000000% understand how painful tonight is

Have some

Nicknacky · 22/10/2016 00:50

Thanks all, I will leave the thread now as I'm derailing it and making it about me and my woes. Thanks! X

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 22/10/2016 00:50

On a separate note - at least we get palliative care here - oh my god I am so grateful for it . My friend saw her father die without it and ... I can't even imagine

At least we get that . Sorry - morbid

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 22/10/2016 00:51

No your Not derailing ! More interesting than slagging off a TV Programme !!

HelenaDove · 22/10/2016 00:51

Nicky im sorry you didnt get the help you needed.

passthewineplz · 22/10/2016 00:53

Helena obesity is attributed to people developing some types of cancer, due to their unhealthy lifestyle.

Steriods are given to cancer paitents, to help their bodies cope with the pain of cancer and help their bodies deal with treatment better.

The programme was saying its obesity due to lifestyle that is attributed to cancer, not the taking of steroids while being treated for cancer.

WorraLiberty · 22/10/2016 01:03

Passthewine you're bang on the money.

The last thing most people will be thinking about when they're given life saving cancer treatment, is whether it's going to make them fat or not.

That can be sorted under medical supervision, once they have a life to actually save.

However, it's worth mentioning time and time again (let alone just 3 times) that more than 1 in 20 cancers are linked to obesity.

I don't imagine anyone would have a problem with it being mentioned that smoking and cancer are related

Sallystyle · 22/10/2016 01:10

Helena I know you lost a lot of weight so it's a subject close to your heart. You bring in obesity and medication into a lot of threads, I get it is your bugbear, but mentioning that obesity can increase the chances of cancer is just factual and I'm bemused by you bringing it up.

to everyone

Bejazzled · 22/10/2016 01:10

There's a few threads about the programme - for and agin the content.

Overarching all posts is one thing that everyone agrees with
cancer is a bastard

HelenaDove · 22/10/2016 01:14

Fair enough U2. DH and i have had serious conversations around illness and he knows and accepts that i would never take steroids for any reason.

We talk a lot about the quality of life vs the quantity of life and are on the same page and in agreement that the former is better.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 22/10/2016 09:05

One of the videos near the beginning did mention that the treatment causes weight gain. Both the woman with cancer and her mother mentioned it because it impacted on her confidence and contributed to her not feeling like herself.

HelenaDove · 22/10/2016 15:08

YY Couch. Thats the short film i meant. It impacted on her confidence because its always driven home to women how we must look a certain way.

The mother also said "most men would have left" Which made me a bit It does men a bit of a disservice. Yes there are some arseholes out there. But it infers there are loads of men leaving their wives because they have breast cancer and i just dont believe thats true.

strugglingbutsurviving · 22/10/2016 15:26

I completely get raising awareness and trying to raise money but cannot help feel that many of these campaigns are getting out of hand. I cannot help recalling that Ice Bucket campaign a few years ago (I think it was for Motor Neurone Disease). I couldn't help feeling at the time why go through all that? Why not just donate the money?

strugglingbutsurviving · 22/10/2016 15:28

HelenaDove, I agree with you. Any man who leaves his partner because of cancer is acting like a jerk. The majority of men are not jerks.

HelenaDove · 22/10/2016 15:58

struggling yes I remember ppl being moaned at if they didnt want to pour ice cold water all over themselves.

A couple of years ago while queueing at a checkout the woman in front of me started saying how proud she was of her young daughter who had shaved her head for charity. I had no issue with that.

But then she went into a huge spiel about how everyone should do it and how it was selfish not to consider it

I thought last nights stand up to cancerthon got it just right in this respect. They didnt pressure ppl to start smashing things up if they didnt want to.

AndieNZ · 22/10/2016 16:07

Oh for goodness sake!

As they said it's tongue in cheek and all done in the name of entertainment to try and encourage people to donate!

It was a very emotional event and heartbreaking that most of the celebrities involved have all been effected one way or another by cancer themselves. I was in tears watching many of the segments - especially the segment showing Stephen Mangerly talking about losing both his parents to cancer.

I lost my best friend to cancer last year and I'm still grieving for her. Even so, I thought the programme last night was in good taste, delivered the message and the celebrities did a good job of entertaining us.

Very thought provoking.

AndieNZ · 22/10/2016 16:08

Sorry for your loss Nicknacky

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