To think this is suspicious and I'm not insane?

[abbinob]

Backstory: when I was pregnant with ds (3 years ago) dp and I didn't live together but one night he was completely ignoring my calls etc, which pissed me off as I was full term and it could have been important! Anyway he told me he was at home sleeping.
Didn't believe him, checked his phone and he'd call a woman from work 20 times at 1am. Turns out he was out at her leaving do and he was calling her to get her to come to a friends house with him and some others. It took a year to get that version of the truth, the first thing he told me was that he lost his friend and was calling her to see if she had seen him despite not one attempt at calling lost friend.
I was suspicious of him with her anyway as the only time I met her he ignored me at his work bbq and kept going inside to speak to her at the bar, leaving pregnant me alone with people ld never met so he could talk to her about her relationship problems

Anyway I'm pretty sure something happened but I dropped it. I was really pregnant, quite young and just couldn't really deal with all the drama so I dropped it. So say her name was Jane smith (it isnt)

Then last night we were just having a conversation about how the thing where you speak to your phone is weird (like siri etc) and he said"yeah it's not like I would be on my phone in front of my friends and say 'check Jane Smith''s Facebook status'

Aibu to wonder why he's say that? Someone he apparently hasn't spoken to in 3 years, doesn't have her number, doesn't have her on Facebook etc so why would her name just decide to pop into his head for no reason!?

A weird part of me think he does things like that on purpose, because I'm pregnant again and he thinks he can? Or something like that.

I wasted 18 years on a prick like this. Don't waste another second on him - it won't be easy going it alone (I was bloody terrified) but you can do it

He sounds like a walking, farting, gaslighting, sex pest and a total DRAIN on your happiness, finances and well being.

You CAN leave, you're allowed and you'd be fine with the children, you look after a toddler and do a demanding job and sort the house (I'm guessing) and are pregnant. You're already doing an amazing job!
It's scary but most men really really don't treat their partners like this. You deserve better.

It doesn't really matter if something did or didn't happen. Either it was a slip, which means she's on his mind, or he did it deliberately to wind you up and upset you.

Neither of which is particularly encouraging.

I would make a Plan B. Not saying you should act on it, but imagine if he (I know it's not a nice thought but better than being taken by surprise) came home next week and told you he was leaving. What would you do? Do you have enough money? Family support? Do you know what if anything you'd be entitled to? Do you know who to ring? Where your documents are, where your DCs documents are? Would you stay where you are, could you move in with your parent/sibling?

You won't feel as vulnerable when you speak to him if you have a Plan B. Doesn't mean you have to put it into practice though.

I would also say you want to speak to him. Tell him it's not a two-way conversation, you have something to say and you want him to listen. Tell him it's totally unacceptable that he brings up the name of someone else out of the blue who he knows there was a past issue with. Also for him to call you mental for calling him out on it is also unacceptable. Either he has something to tell you about him and Jane Smith, or he doesn't. If he does - say it now. If he doesn't, shut the hell up about her and get some respect for the mother of his children. Oh and he can sleep on the sofa tonight whilst he thinks hard about that. Then walk out. Don't enter into a conversation about it or you will only give him opportunity to have another little dig (which he will). Then you will argue about the dig, and he will gain more ground/call you more names which will upset you, which he will do to "pay you back" for daring to pull rank over him. Tell him you don't need to speak about it anymore, you will let him know if and when you want to talk about it again. (on your terms).

I think he also got a kick out of the idea you may be jealous, which is why he brought her name up again.

Manipulation like that is the preserve of pricks.