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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not ok...

41 replies

chowchowchow · 20/10/2016 19:55

For teenagers to have their gf/bf to stay the night?

Maybe it's just because as a teen there would have been NO WAY I would have even suggested having my bf to stay.

Is it me being too strict? There have been a few posts recently with parents seemingly accepting of this.

My DD is 13 and I'm sure I have it all to come (in a good few years) "but so-and-so's allowed blah-blah to stay". Well, sorry darling NO CHANCE.

OP posts:
WhisperingLoudly · 20/10/2016 19:57

Teen is a broad spectrum: 13 not ok, 17 fine.

Original poster
chowchowchow · 20/10/2016 19:58

Eek. I still wouldn't be happy with 17.
Prude alert

OP posts:
Meadows76 · 20/10/2016 19:59

Well it depends on the age really doesn't it?

Note3 · 20/10/2016 20:00

My parents just said their house their rules and gave a blanket no

Kokosjumping · 20/10/2016 20:00

Dunno, my sister is 17 and my mum still won't let her.

ThornyBird · 20/10/2016 20:00

Depends, dc1 is 15 and the BF lives approx 90minutes drive/train away. They stay over at each other's but in different rooms. To be honest, if they're going to get up to anything, they'll manage before bedtime.

Original poster
chowchowchow · 20/10/2016 20:02

Yes Meadows. I probably should have specified all teenage, right up to 19. To be honest, I'd prob want DD to be in a long term relationship and cohabiting before I let her sleep in the same bed as her bf in my house.
Engaged or married would be even better in an ideal, slightly old fashioned, world Grin

OP posts:
MaQueen · 20/10/2016 20:03

Won't be happening here, anytime soon like the next 10 years if DH has his way

DH and I weren't allowed to share a bed at his parents until we were in our late 20s, and had been living together since university.

Rather silly, but really no skin off our noses in the grand scheme of things.

pugsake · 20/10/2016 20:03

I wasn't allowed. I still came home pregnant at 16.

Teenagers don't need sleepovers to have sex.

Original poster
chowchowchow · 20/10/2016 20:03

Thorny. Different bedrooms is something I could probably get my head around...

OP posts:
Original poster
chowchowchow · 20/10/2016 20:04

Oh don't get me wrong pug. I'm not naive enough to think it won't happen but I certainly won't be facilitating it

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 20/10/2016 20:04

Is this a TAAT?

Original poster
chowchowchow · 20/10/2016 20:06

What's a TAAT?

OP posts:
FlabulousChic · 20/10/2016 20:07

Over the age of 16 is fine if they don't share a room. Rather they do it at home than in a park or elsewhere

WhooooAmI24601 · 20/10/2016 20:07

I'm torn on this. I had loads of sex as a teen but never at home. Often in places we shouldn't have been because of the no-sex-at-home ruling.

I think if my teen was in a relationship and was above the age of consent I'd want to speak to their girlfriend's parents beforehand but I'd allow it. Mainly because I would be worried they'd just find somewhere potentially less-safe to go right ahead.

FlabulousChic · 20/10/2016 20:07

And I mean share a room with a sibling. They are of age and would have sex elsewhere

MrsHam13 · 20/10/2016 20:08

Doesn't bother me at all if they are in a long term relationship. I stayed at my boyfriends (who is now my husband) at 16.

Once they are sixteen and have been together a decent amount of time. If they are in a nice relationship with each other and not falling out every two seconds I will be fine with it.

AmberEars · 20/10/2016 20:09

At 18 I'd definitely allow it, and my parents let me. Not sure about 16/17.

My DC are primary age so I've got a few years to think about it!

HolesInTheFloor · 20/10/2016 20:09

Are you my mil? I've been with dh 10 years and even after we'd been living together for ages we still had to sleep in separate rooms when we stayed at their house. It was only after we had booked our wedding that we went to stay and were told we could sleep in the same room. Twin beds though!

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 20/10/2016 20:09

When I was in my early 20s and was staying at my mums inbetween houses I wasn't allowed my bf of several years to stay the night. I'm nearly 30 now and I think it would still be a no Grin

I never had a problem with it, her house, her rules.

Inyournightdress · 20/10/2016 20:09

It's a TAAT. I'm not sure why the other one was deleted though.

NoooorthonerMum · 20/10/2016 20:10

Over 16 and in a stable relationship with someone I trusted and whose parents were OK with with it yes. Obviously not random one night stands.

Donthateprocreate · 20/10/2016 20:10

16+ is fine, anything younger no.

OwlinaTree · 20/10/2016 20:11

Thing is if the other set of parents do allow it you end up hardly seeing your child as they will be constantly round their bf/gf house!

BolshierAryaStark · 20/10/2016 20:11

Don't know tbh, sorry useless I know.
Mine are a while away yet so will cross that bridge when it comes to it.
When DH & I started seeing each other at 19 it was ages until his mum was happy for me to sleep over with him-this was despite his sister & her boyfriend who was 1 whole year older than us sleeping together, oh & she was pregnant Hmm

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