To be pissed off re hundreds of photos of my DP and all of his exes on his laptop?

[Simplecountrygirl]

Been together 3 years. Had to use his laptop this afternoon, it was open on his pictures but recent ones to be fair. I admit I was naughty and had a snoop.

I'm not joking when I say there are hundreds of pictures of him and all of his exes from the past 7-8 years.

One girl in particular he seemed to enjoy taking photos of because there are loads of her, smiling at him in restaurants, in cars, taking photos when she's unaware on days out, couple selfies etc.

Likewise another one, I don't know how many couple selfies there were. As well as some underwear pics of her, pics of her in bikinis on their holidays etc.

Cut yo us, he's never taken a 'selfie' of us together, he's never taken a photo of me (that I've been aware of) he just acts like he's not bothered about all of that. (I'm skinny and attractive, and not as arrogant as I sound btw, just for illustrative purposes for this post)

I guess I feel a bit pissed off because one he's been complaining his laptop is slow ATM, well I'm not bloody surprised with all that lot on there and 2) because like I say, he never really takes any pictures or anything like that of us or me!

I don't think they're on his iPad or phone, I think they're stored on his iCloud which is why they are coming up in pictures on his Mac.

AIBU to feel annoyed? Would you/ should I say something?

Maybe one of his exes said it was creepy the way he kept taking photos of her all the time and he's learnt his lesson...

It's more the fact that he hasn't ever expressed an interest in taking photos of me or us sad even when we've been at the top of the Swiss Alps skiing, yet he's clearly keen on taking them of him and his exes on the sofa together or on a night out. Just makes me feel a bit sub standard.

That's the crux. It's not that he's got the photos, it's that by you coming across them, you now know that this isn't just "how he is". It's not that he doesn't think to take photos, or he's not a photo-y person. It's that he's not interested in capturing photos with you, and he was, with those exes.

It could be that his ex got very annoyed with him constantly photoing and filming her, and he's learnt not too. It could be that someone told him that the line between "cute" and "creepy" when it comes to candidly photographing women is very fine. It could be that as he's grown up, he doesn't feel as much of a need to photograph and document everything - or it could be that he doesn't have the urge to photograph you, or document his life with you. Only he would know, really.

I'd talk to him, but not about the photos. Tell him you've realised there aren't many photos of you together, see what he says. If he's got a genuine reason for not photographing you, it'll come up. If you tell him it's important to you and he doesn't make the effort, it'll be a sign of what this means to him. Hopefully, though, he will make an effort, and he'll fill the void, and you'll forget the older photos. It'd mean nothing if he deleted them just because you asked him too anyway. He could easily undelete them and move them elsewhere, and even if he didn't, it wasn't a choice not to have them.

I hope he puts your mind at rest.

When I am old, I hope I will have mementoes of my life to look back on.

Would I refuse to shag Leonard Cohen just because he has written songs and even albums about specific former lovers?

No, I would not.

YABwet and insecure.

I have literally gigabytes of photos of me and my ex.

I don't sit there mooching over them, but she is my boys mother and its a long period of my life that I've no wish to erase. Any girl who wanted me to delete them would be kindly shown the door.

For goodness sake, I'm not really bothered about him deleting them. I don't think I've even said I want him to delete them. In all honesty, I suspect they're on his iCloud and he doesn't know they are there.

It's the fact he took them at all, when he's never done anything remotely like that with me.

I'm aware he has a past and exes, I do too.

Do you ever ask him to take your photo?

Yes occasionally and he huffs and puffs but obliges. Didn't look like he was 'obliging' with these photos, looks like he instigated the majority of them!