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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really object to DH "babysitting"

44 replies

talcam · 08/02/2007 22:26

This drives me up the pole, if I ever manage to escape for a night to be faced with the repeated question "Is your husband babysitting then?" No he just happens to be at home with his children. Do you think he has ever been asked if I am at home babysitting?

OP posts:
bandstand · 08/02/2007 22:27

say, no they're home alone see the look on their faces then..

Original poster
talcam · 08/02/2007 22:32

I think I might try that If I remember it will by so long til I'm next out, oh poor me. (Not really going out on sat but taking DH with me)

OP posts:
madamez · 08/02/2007 22:43

Ooh, that would drive me mad too. Not unreasonable at all, if your DH lives with you then they're his kids too and he should be doing half the work.
Having said that, my DS' dad occasionally talks abot 'babysitting' but then he isn't/wasn't my partner, doesn't live with us and I also refer to him as the world's best free babysitter. So there you go, really...

Caligula · 08/02/2007 22:46

No not at all unreasonable, this use of babysitting has me figuratively frothing at the mouth.
Unreasonable? Moi?

colditz · 08/02/2007 22:47

"No, I don't think he has anyone else's children there"

moondog · 08/02/2007 22:47

Any mention of babysitting dhs has me mashing offender's nose to a pulp.
(Metaphorically speaking natch)

I fail to understand why people think it is ok to talk like this.

colditz · 08/02/2007 22:49

I am with caligula on this. It has driven me into a feminist frenzy when I go out with my friends, and some brainless, ball-less twat pipes up "her her her, you got the old man baby sitting den? her her her, 'e's under de fumb, innee?"

colditz · 08/02/2007 22:50

My dp once said he would babysit while I went to a party and immediately, without pausing for breath, apologised profusely.

I didn't rip him a new A hole because he had just said he would look after the kids while I went to a party, and I was very grateful.

skill · 09/02/2007 14:00

used to drive me nuts too. I usually said
"no, they're with their dad"

that shut them up

FluffyMummy123 · 09/02/2007 14:26

Message withdrawn

wheresthevalium · 09/02/2007 14:37

Used to drive me up the wall to (when I was married). It always made me feel that I was out when I should be home looking after the DDs instead of galivanting and leaving poor, downtrodden DH to fend for himself and DDs

Grrrr

fruitful · 09/02/2007 14:42

Oh yes. And "does your dh help you with the kids?".

Before we had kids, when we both had fulltime jobs, someone asked if dh "helped me with the housework". I said "no, he just does half of it, he doesn't need to help me with my half".

Mind you, the other night, I had planned to see a friend (who has a dh and kids) and dh had planned to see a friend (who has a dw and kids) and one of the other spouses had planned to go swimming ... there were a lot of phonecalls and discussions about who was going to "sit on" which kids at which houses. I don't mind when dh says that I am babysitting. It means "staying at home with the kids instead of going out, in a martyred, brownie-point-earning fashion"

Bekks · 09/02/2007 14:46

I used to quite frequently have the conversation with my ex (dd's dad) that went
Me: You don't support me
Him: Yes I do
Me: Ok, so what do you do then?
Him: I look after dd sometimes so you can work.

WTF!

bran · 09/02/2007 14:52

I know this phrase sets most of you frothing at the mouth, but it really doesn't bother me. To me 'babysitting' means staying in the house, unable to leave, because I am alone with a child who is sleeping. It really doesn't matter whether it's my child or someone else's child.

So if dh and I are at home and ds is asleep in be, neither of us are babysitting because either one can pop out at will. If only one of us is at home while the other is out carousing then the one at home is babysitting.

Tommy · 09/02/2007 14:56

don't like it either. Suggest that it's my job and he's just doing me a favour

Nip · 09/02/2007 14:58

Someone said that to me the other day and i replied that his sister in law didnt need a babysitter tonight and he was in fact with our DS... they just looked at me bemused and said "oh you know what i mean"

NO, NO, I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN YOU MUPPET!

choosyfloosy · 09/02/2007 14:59

yes, i have to say i frequently forget to get angry about this one, but i do see why anger is appropriate

[drinks more red bull for bigger caffeine surge]

fannyannie · 09/02/2007 15:00

I feel the same as bran - doesn't bother me at all

Singapore · 09/02/2007 15:07

Drives me crazy, I think a babysitter is someone other than mum or dad. You cannot babysit your own child

fannyannie · 09/02/2007 15:17

But I think if looking after the child/ren stops them doing something they would normally have been doing at that time it can be classed as babysitting. For example usually my DH goes out to work between 11.30 and 1.30 in the day - but on Monday he won't be going out until 4.30 as I've got training at work and he's agreed to re-work his hours so I don't have to find someone else to babysit.

mumeeee · 09/02/2007 17:12

I feel the same as bran. This has never bothered me.

FluffyMummy123 · 09/02/2007 17:13

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 09/02/2007 17:13

Message withdrawn

OrmIrian · 09/02/2007 17:17

I think it's just one of those stupid things people say - harmess but irritating. Similar to 'where are the kids then?' when I'm out on my own .....duh...let me think....

LittleSarah · 09/02/2007 18:00

It irritates me, I never hear it said about women and that is why I find it immensely annoying.

When it has been said to me ('oh is ex babysitting...') I usually say, no, he is looking after his daughter.

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