To ask what annoying habits your boss or colleagues have

[bumblebee50]

I had a boss who was an absolute twat. He was a lazy wee sod and hardly did any work. Anyway if he was pointing something out to me he would point with his index finger and pinkie. All I could imagine was taking a massive axe and chopping his fingers off. I know it's a bit extreme but it drove me insane. I used to go back to my desk and type swear words just to calm myself down. What annoying habits drive you insane?

And some do no more than those things and lie to cover their incompetent arses.

Mine boss is a massive hypocrite, prides himself in his 'what not how' approach to managing projects but will actually micromanage every step of the process and patronisingly criticises your methods if they are not his way of doing of things. He says he's into letting people sort the details out themselves but is unhappy if they go about things in a way he wouldn't but also refuses to guide on the detail because he wants us to "do what you'd do if I wasn't here". We have one very demotivated team because none of us are good at guessing what he actually wants!
Rant over.

I used to work with someone with the loudest sneeze known to Man. I'm talking record breaking window shattering stuff.
He said it was his sinusitis and would do it randomly throughout the day.

Two colleagues who used to stink out a small staff room with no opening window, cooking fish or stinky curries.

Another colleague who was lovely but made me murderous when she was on the phone repeating "uhuh" " uhuh" over and over again , and using this telephone voice reminiscent of a pre school children's television presenter talking to a deaf simpleton.

I like my colleagues. There's an occasional outbreak of random wittering that can get a bit trying.

Not a colleague but my once weekly tutor for the Welsh Bacc Alevel, I had to sign my name on thirty or so pieces of paper every week (fuck knows why) and she would guffaw, sigh and say 'I know it's death by paper!' For. Every. Single. Signature.
It made me fucking twitch.
Disclaimer: she was the loveliest tutor I ever had and I wish id been her student for longer than 6 months.

OhTheRoses your comments are a bit uncalled for on this thread. And a bit of a downer for me, frankly, after the stressful day I've had at work. Can you just allow me to chill please.

My boss is another lazy bastard. Every month we have a 'deep clean' (cafe) and he was suppost to do 50% of it. He sat in office doing 'paperwork' (the only paperwork needing done takes 20 mins max not 2 hours) whilst he made me clean whole shop and toilets and he did feck all. Next time he tried it i pulled him up on it (as he never makes male employees do it, only me) and he decided to write a formal disaplinary (sorry no idea how to spell that!) Against me for a 'bad team attitude'. I have been looking for another job.

Current colleague who doesn't know when to shut up - I don't understand how she gets any work done she doesn't and how she fills her time sheet each week.
Last week she had a meeting that was supposed to take half the day; she managed to shorten it to an hour, then proceeded to talk about it to anyone who couldn't escape would listen for the rest of the day.
I'm all for having a chat with colleagues, but some just don't know when a conversation has finished!
And I too had a colleague once who sang along with mobile ring tones, he also ate his hummus sandwiches (lunch) VERY loudly at about ten minutes past 9 every morning.

I had a manager who used to tell such bullshit stories. Every day. Why the fuck she thought I swallowed her cock and bull. Maybe because I was young. Some of her standout stories where that alan sugar told her she had taught him everything he knows about women in business. I was dying to say oh ues and that's why youre on 18k working in an office on a shitty little industrial estate. Another whopper was that she met Madonna in paris and had dinner with her and her producers. She did have a picture taken with madonna. So I said oh bring it in I'd love to see it. Unfortunately, her friend had said picture

Argh my colleague- apologises literally before every sentence. Drives me insane.

She also clicks her pen incessantly. And put her headphones down on my desk.

Her conversation is mainly limited to parroting very inane stereotypes and outdated news. Fine for someone you see occasionally, but I sit next to her every fucking day.

There's more I could say, but it's so peculiar to this one person it would out me to others Mumsnetters in my office.

Urgh I hate working in offices, I have a "touch" of misophonia and actually feel panicky on the very rare occasion that I forget to take my headphones.

I don't understand why people think it's ok to sit in an office and sing, whistle, loudly chew gum, eat with their mouths open, crack knuckles, yawn extravagantly....

I had one colleague who did all of those things on a daily basis. She was a nice person but I couldn't stand to even look at her. I had to quit!

I have a lovely colleague who is the loudest eater ever. She is alwayd chomping on apple or carrots and has to do it with her mouth open. Another colleague actually pointes it out to her and she blushed and apologised...but was back doing it 10 minutes later.

My last boss used to clear his throat all the fucking time! Sounded like beevis or butthead! No one noticed - until
I told them. Annoyed the hell out of them too!

Almost constant knuckle cracking really annoys me. I simply don't understand why they need to do it, especially in meetings when someone else is talking.

Forgot a particularly golden dickhead.
I worked in a takeaway many moons ago and no customers = no work to do. The shop owner bought newspapers everyday for us to read during quiet times. Customer comes in and orders pizza from the back kitchen so still no work. I was reading the local rag so there were other papers left around. Boss yanked the local rag out of my hands and gave it to the customer. When I called him out on it he said that the needs of a man are more important than a woman. Not a customers needs, a mans.

My boss when she had a cold used to blow her nose into a tissue and lean across and throw it into my waste paper bin (she had her by her desk). When she drank anything she would say Aghhh nice after every mouthful. Most cardinal sin to me was a nail biter, gave the apoplectic rage!

Now self employed and much happier making noises and spreading germs in my own home.

Her own bin - sorry

Oh no.... here we go. I sit next to the boss who has files encroaching onto my desk. Mobile gets plugged in to charge and get put on my desk. Rings on loudspeaker and only picks up handset when it's answered. Very loud phone voice and conducts all conference calls from desk. Other people in the office react to volume like . What else. Micromanages & won't let you get on with anything because "let me have a think about that". Oh so busy all the time, can we schedule a time to catch up on Thursday - and then goes and has a 10 min chat about weekends with soemeone else in the office. Passes judgement on other people's homelife set up ("that's not how I run my house"). Focuses on minutiae which adds 0 value (e.g. a line on a plan. Not even a relevant line!)

I haven't even got onto anything damning around competence or "how the fuck has x got that role?!"

Sorry it's a bit of a downer and that you have had a stressful day. My GP prescribed antidepressants and sleeping pills for me today. Because I cried. I don't usually cry.

I am deeply sorry if your colleagues annoy and irritate you. It's nothing like how they annoy and irritate parents whose children they claim don't meet their thresholds because they don't listen to what they are being told and can't listen when you get through on the phone at 4.55 because they close at 5pm.

Oh God, so many things:

• Eating noisily/eating smelly food - Tupperware/ yoghurt pot scrapers in particular
• Taking personal calls and expecting everyone else to listen to your long conversation about what you're having for tea or something equally riveting
• Performance coughing and sneezing (accompanied in one case by some truly irritating back of the throat grunting)
• Ridiculously loud and convoluted tea runs despite the fact that most people are quite happy to just make their own
• Overuse of stupid words/phrases including, but not limited to: holibobs, back in the day, asap (pronounced as one word rather than an acronym)
• Blatant arse licking of 'popular' colleagues
• Passive aggressive emails about loo/kitchen behaviour
• Reply to all emails that are in no way relevant or interesting to 99% of the recipients
• Sniggering at YouTube videos while apparently oblivious to the fact that some of your colleagues are trying to work
• Over enthusiastic air-conditioning use

I actually like most of my colleagues but on a day to day basis I could happily punch at least one of them for any of the above. I am aware I probably have many annoying habits of my own though.

The guy who sits next to me has the volume turned on on his laptop. So we can all hear every time his Skype pings, and he watches videos (usually work related) too. I'm always meaning to turn it off when he leaves his desk (he usually leaves it unlocked so sometimes I flip the screen upside down for a laugh).

Sorry you are having a difficult time OhTheRoses

I think everyone has misophonia because who likes to hear other peoples horrible noises? Other people are irritating!

I could list plenty, but will just give you one. I work 08:15 to 16:15, and my manager finished later. She will sit next to me all day and then, as I'm turning off my pc and putting my coat on, ask me a complicated question about some work I've been doing.