Should DH 'correct' our children's accents?

[OohMavis]

Or, rather, encourage them to speak 'properly'

Because I'm not convinced he should. He obviously thinks otherwise.

DH was raised in London, me in Kent. I have a typical Kentish accent, a tiny bit on the posher side, I pronounce my Ts in most cases for example, etc. His is similar.

We live in a small town in Kent where the accent is parodied locally for being 'rough'. It's just a bit cockney really, there's nothing wrong with it imo. Since moving here though 6yo DS has started mimicking it a bit, particularly since starting school. Small things like saying 'wha'ever' instead of 'whatever'. Lots of glottal stops and elongating of words. Hard to explain without saying it out loud.

Anyway, every time he does this, DH corrects him. Not in a shouty or cross way, but he'll repeat the word back to him and DS will usually restart his sentence using 'proper' pronunciation of his own volition. He doesn't seem to mind being corrected at the moment but I can see it really annoying him before long. It would irritate me to be constantly corrected on the way I speak.

DH thinks that speaking 'properly', as he calls it, will give him an advantage when he grows up with looking for jobs, and genuinely believes that people with our accent sound more intelligent than those with a cockney one. It's strange because he's not a snob at all, he grew up poor in South London and has no idea of himself as somehow better than anyone else. His grandmother (who raised him) just made him speak properly he says, and he is glad she did.

I think it's completely natural and fine to adopt the accent of the place you live. I don't see anything wrong with DS sounding like his friends. I also think it makes DH seem like a nitpicking bore and DS will not appreciate it at all - it's not like the local accent will change, he'll have to adapt his speech all the time he spends time around his friends.

Who is BU?

Most people adapt their accents to a situation. Your son may feel uncomfortable with his "proper" accent around his peers, but may want to adapt it when he's at home, talking to adults

I'd be correcting mine if they said wha ever, no matter where they came from.
That has nothing to do with accent and I think your dh is right.

OP - I'm entirely with your husband on this. Your children need to know how to speak properly, even if they choose not to sometimes when they're with their friends.

Accents are fine - everyone has one. But it's a small leap from dropping a 't' to 'he done that' to 'I'm going Bluewater', innit bruv (as the middleclass teenagers round here like to say when they're pretending to be 'street').

I can't predict the future, and hopefully more is being done to accept a more diverse workforce which will perhaps change things, but I work in the City and if your son interviewed now, his accent would be judged (unless he was absolutely, incredibly talented - in which case they would make an 'ironic' exception).

Let your husband continue to give you son options.

He is right to correct them. Your kids will thank him when they are older, especially when they go for interviews and give presentations for work etc. Accents are fine just as long as the pronunciation is correct!

OddBoots - misread your post as 'weird patios some Londoners have' - couldn't work out the relevance!!!

I speak fluent English now, with a very slight, barely noticeable accent, but my dh still takes the piss when certain words come out sounding like Hyacinth Bucket has said them blush

This has really made me laugh.

DoubleNegative
Telephone, hose, nose....pretty much anything with an "ohh" sound sounds very "Hyacinth"

Maybe it's when you invite your friends to your candlelit suppers 😂😂😂😂

My MIL's mother tongue is not English. Until she moved here she only spoke English at school. She has been here nearly 70 years now but still speaks with her native accent and also constructs sentences as direct translations from her mother tongue. So instead of 'it is' she will often say 'it do be'. Or instead of the English 'the thing is' she will say "lookit'. Ungrammatical but charming and a happy reminder of her home. And because she speaks very clearly with no dropped haitches or glottal stops , perfectly understandable. But I think it did stop her getting jobs that matched her abilities and intelligence.

I'm French so shouldn't be the one to comment on accents. However, I insist on my daughter speaking properly. Th and not ff, something and not somethink, London and not luundun, luv... Also watching out for "we was" or "me parents are...".

I'm from the NE, I most definitely have a NE ascent but I speak clearly and enunciate. I'm often told I'm posh. I'm not, it's from living abroad and having no one understand me, lol

I do correct the dcs when they say something really badly, but I don't correct mere accent. There's nothing wrong with a northern accent!, as many would have you believe.

Husband was born in Lambeth. He speaks more clearly to me, then unintelligible slang to his family members. I am often ignorant at family parties.

I am from Northants. But I have lived in London for 20 years. My accent swings between London and the slight Northants twang. To my family, I sound weird.

My DD sounds posh. We live in a fairly naice SE London suburb and her friends all speak with a neutral accent. Utterly bizarre. She is very clear and has no trace of her father's Cockney twang (which is fast disappearing).
I correct her on grammatical errors like saying, "Stacey and I" instead of "Stacey and me". Worse still, my husband who will say, "Me and Stacey". No no, not in our house.

My StMIL comes from Doncaster. We take the merciless piss out of her accent, especially the t' and flat vowels. It's so different from ours. She's lived in London for 40 years and it's still a broad Yorkshire accent. She takes the piss out of my husband, but saying, "No use 'avin the 'ump wiv me" in a Donny accent is so funny.

I think having accents is fine, as long as you speak clearly and enunciate.

I live in Bromley which is on the boarder of London and Kent. And I come from Eastern Europe so I can see how people do not listen what I am saying they are more concentrated to find out where my accent. I work in the City and also interview a lot and must say that people who speak BBC English or Queen's English have a bigger chance to get the job. If I have East European applicants they usually speak another 4 languages so I am not bothered about the accent as it is difficult to change it if you speak different language at home.
My children are growing up here and I am very very focused on teaching them to speak good English, finish the words and avoid cocney. I keep on repeating to them that their words might come across misunderstood and negatively received.

There's a difference between having an accent (we all do) and just not speaking properly. I am from the West of Scotland where we speak quickly and can be almost unintelligible to the untrained ear! It's not the accent that's the problem it's the use of improper grammar and local dialect. I won't allow my children to speak like that because it makes them sound stupid and they're not. The lovely little girl next door (about 4) was bouncing on her trampoline shouting "Paaaaaaapa...Paaaaaaaaaaapa... Ah wahnt ae be a princess, daen't ah no?"! (translation: papa, papa, I want to be a princess, don't I?) What sort of chance does she stand if she's not even taught how to speak properly in the first place?

I agree with your husband. People make assumptions about people who do not pronounce words correctly.

it is important to speak good English that is comprehensible to all. An accent is a different thing - we all have them, some locally learned, some totally affected. I prefer the former.

You can have your local accent but still pronounce things properly if you know what I mean. Think dropping ts is ok as long as not getting stuff wrong like "somethink" vs something. Think your DH modelling his idea of good pronunciation will be the best thing cos then your kids will know how to really & use proper pronunciation/accent as n when required.

First thought was "no, how annoying".. but I do exactly the same to my child, I'm a rough sounding northerner, and he's been in nursery with posh sounding kids in the midlands since 8 weeks old, so when he says something in my accent I'm quick to correct him, he speaks beautifully!

I have what others have called a "Lancashire after higher education accent". I did TEFL work abroad and had to fake an RP accent for an English Language recording I did in an impoverished school. It was hilarious fun. Especially when people said it was nice to hear me talking properly for a change.

Another mum who doesn't care how they speak with friends but will pull them up on strong regional accent at home. I want them to have some choice about how they sound when they are older. They tease me a bit about it but they don't really seem to mind. I've explained my thinking to them. My other half has a nice neutral accent and I want the same for my kids. I have a strong accent and it is a mixed blessing to say the least.

Sorry I'm with your DH I think we should be teaching our children to talk correctly. When it comes to getting jobs etc can have a big impact in certain fields.

Your H is BVU. And very shortsighted.

Children benefit from being bidialectal. See this report here: www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/speakers-of-two-dialects-may-share-cognitive-advantage-with-speakers-of-two-languages

I also agree that your dh is right to correct them! I don't think it sells in the corporate world.
I do that with my dc, I always tell them that it does not sell dropping t's, poor grammar, the 'I done it' thing. I just can't bear it!

We live in Yorkshire, South Yorkshire actually, where typically the accent is at it later most broad.

Dh and I have both worked in call centres for years and as such we have a Yorkshire twang rather than full on accent. We do correct our children occasionally as I believe speaking properly will be helpful for them in their adult life. I don't want them pronouncing "water" as "watter" for example. Or "wa'er"

Sorry should say we have lost our full on Yorkshire accent and have more of a twang through habit of of using our 'phone voices'