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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 kids. 3 seatbelts.

26 replies

BrumBrumBishes · 16/10/2016 20:22

ExDh takes kids to park on Sundays. Last week MIL dropped them off. I haven't spoken to her in a long time. I didn't see her or her car as she drove off.

I asked how they all fit. Dh said MIL car has 4 seatbelts in back.

She drops them off again today and I notice car looks small.

ExDH was getting a lift so didn't speak to him.

Just txt him and he admitted DS is on booster. Dd in middle and 2 eldest 'share ' a seatbelt.

I'm fuming.

I have always been SUPER vigilant with car safety. I don't drive and have gotten the bus with 4 kid for an hour in the rain rather than ride in a car without the correct car seats. He knows this.

And he lied. He told me to my face there was 4 belts.

AIBU to contact MIL (for the first time in years) to tell her I do not want the kids getting a lift again. Because even though ExDH has promised he wont I don't feel I can trust him. (I can see him getting dropped off round the corner etc...)

Though it would probably cause a shit storm if he found out I've contacted her about it.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 16/10/2016 20:24

I would. He is endangering your children's lives.

So is she, however. So can't imagine she'll stop on your say so.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 16/10/2016 20:26

YANBU.

Tough if there is a shitstorm. The safety of your children comes first.

Fucking twats. I have no time for people who dick about with safety in this way. So many people seem to though and think it's perfectly acceptable.

My MIL took DS out as a baby, didn't sort his straps out properly in a very small car that was on a fast road. Her attitude was one of couldn't care less and she couldn't be expected to remember everything. I didn't let her take him in the car again. If they had been in a crash, my newborn baby would have gone flying out of his seat at 70mph.

sunnyshowers · 16/10/2016 20:27

No car has 4 seat belts in the back. ..so your niave to think that could be true.
However re seat belts you are 199% correct. ..yanbu

Original poster
BrumBrumBishes · 16/10/2016 20:29

Sunny I don't drive. Never have. No experience or interest in cars whatsoever so I would have no idea if some cars have 4 seatbelts or not.

As soon as I saw the car myself I pressed him until he admitted.

OP posts:
DeathStare · 16/10/2016 20:31

As I understand it (and I may be wrong) if you drive with more people in your car than there are seat belts for then your insurance is void and you can be done for driving without insurance

MyKingdomForBrie · 16/10/2016 20:35

YANBU at all, why is one child not in the front passenger seat? He doesn't need to be in the car himself surely?

Swirlingasong · 16/10/2016 20:36

Yanbu at all. She is breaking the law by driving a car with children without seatbelts.

WatchingFromTheWings · 16/10/2016 20:38

What she's doing is illegal. I'd contact her and let her know that she's not to take your kids in the car unless they all have their own belt. And if your ex is sat in the passenger seat, having one on his lap is not ok either.

Original poster
BrumBrumBishes · 16/10/2016 20:38

MyKingdom, because DH is on the front. MIL driving.

OP posts:
Murphysgirl · 16/10/2016 20:45

Sunny, she's not being naive at all. MIL could have been driving a people carrier.

OP I'd be furious too and contact ex MIL. Depending on the age of the children I'd also tell them that it was unsafe and that they weren't to travel in a car unless they each had a seatbelt.

Ausernotanumber · 16/10/2016 20:47

They could have had a multi mac.
multimac.co.uk/home

NicknameUsed · 16/10/2016 21:12

It's unsafe and illegal. They need to ditch one of the adults and strap all the children in with one in the front seat. If they won't they don't have the children, or you contact the police when you know the car is being driven with 2 adults and 4 children and not enough seatbelts.

Permanentlyexhausted · 16/10/2016 22:40

It's illegal and she will almost certainly get a fixed penalty notice if the police catch her. So I would report her on 101 and they may send her an advisory notice warning her not to do it.

Original poster
BrumBrumBishes · 16/10/2016 22:42

I just sent her a message asking her not to allow them in the car again if there isn't space.

OP posts:
Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 16/10/2016 22:42

Ex driving
Kids in the back
Mil in the boot Grin

Original poster
BrumBrumBishes · 16/10/2016 22:52

Perfect solution ;)

OP posts:
DisneyMillie · 16/10/2016 23:05

I'd be very upset - why would they risk the lives of those most precious to them

HarryPottersMagicWand · 16/10/2016 23:10

How old/tall are the kids? I'm guessing they don't have car seats either!

MadeForThis · 16/10/2016 23:26

Tell them that you will report her the next time. Good luck getting insurance once you have points on your licence.

Boysnme · 16/10/2016 23:39

I am with you on this. I'd go nuts. How old are your kids? Depending on their ages, she may also need specific seats for them. It's only ok for a seatbelt not to be used if the car was originally designed without them (i.e. Old classic car). It is against the law to have more than one person in one seat with one seatbelt and your MIL could be fined - I think it's up to £500. I'd be telling her this and then calling the police if she doesn't listen.

Boysnme · 16/10/2016 23:41

And 3 points on licence.

AmeliaJack · 16/10/2016 23:44

In future either exDH borrows Mils car to pick up children or Mil picks up children without exDH.

Oldest child in the front with air bag switched off

Original poster
BrumBrumBishes · 17/10/2016 04:27

DH doesn't drive either, but we've managed every other day of our lives.

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 17/10/2016 04:37

Keep the texts it shows how little he respects the law and how little he cares for his kids safety. You never know when you may need this evidence.
If you think they will lie in the future just report to police now. You have a text as evidence.

HearTheThunderRoar · 17/10/2016 05:23

YANBU, who cares if it causes a shit storm or it pisses off your exh, your kids safety is more important.

I would also be fuming that your EXH lied to you, when you asked him outright.

I remember my DH telling me he put DD in the boot of his two seater car for a 40 mile round trip (on a motorway!) when he had given a family friend ride. I was absolutely raging, 10 years later the thought of what could have happened still terrifies me