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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"Mum how can I possibly fit in a part time job ....

204 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 16/10/2016 12:23

...... you do realise I'm in year 11 don't you, under enormous stress, with sooooo much revision to do".

Said my DD last night, with a completely straight face, after spending the entire day lying on the sofa under a blanket with her phone, before heading to a mates to get ready for a party

OP posts:

Ohtobeskiing · 16/10/2016 13:01

very few employers would be willing to take on a teen for just a few hours a week

Rubbish! Both my dc and their friends have worked during GCSE's, A Levels and Degrees and managed to juggle everything including sport/music extra curricular activities.

BlueberrySky · 16/10/2016 13:01

Babysitting is an ideal job at her age. Even one evening a week will bring in some money and she can revise once the kids are in bed.

My Dd has been babysitting since year 9. Next door and I am at home though. It has given her a sense of earning her own money.

Violetcharlotte · 16/10/2016 13:01

I know how you feel OP, my youngest is 15 and in year 11 and all he seems to do is lay around all day - very frustrating when I'm running round like a mad woman trying to juggle everything else!

However, I think it's reasonable for him not to be working in his GCSE year. Schools tough, plus he's got homework, revision, etc. But as soon as GCSEs are over, I'll be straight in his case!

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 16/10/2016 13:02

YANBU. Most of the teenagers around here get jobs once they are old enough, waitressing, kitchen porter, hairdressers, local shops. It wouldn't kill your DD to go out and work for a few hours at the weekend.

noblegiraffe · 16/10/2016 13:03

I've taught a lot of sixth formers who have managed perfectly well to balance a job and school. I've also taught a lot who have struggled, been unable to complete homework as they've been working, who've been taken advantage of by employers to sign them up to unreasonable hours or they will lose the job and those who we've had to advise that if they don't quit the job they will fail.

Meadows76 · 16/10/2016 13:04

I think if DD was eligible I would make her 'pay living costs' (take half of it and put it in a saving account for her) ...and make her pay for her own phone and clothes and maybe school lunch (transport to school is free, she gets £10pw lunch money).. That's bizarre to expect to save half and make her buy her own lunches, clothes and phone from £15 a week. In fact it's completely unacheivable.

Originalfoogirl · 16/10/2016 13:04

I worked weekends from the age of 14. When I became old enough to waitress, I worked some evenings. Worked most holidays too. Still managed to find enough time to study, and to socialise.

When I was 18 there were some rules introduced which meant under 18s at school can't work more than a certain number of hours, or before or after a certain time of the day. This still makes it possible to have a part time job and because it is cheap labour, employers will still employ teenagers.

School is not a full time commitment and how many adults have the luxury of not having to work, because they don't have time, what with all our leisure time and socialising and stuff?

Teenagers are quite old enough to begin to understand how the real world works.

Squiff85 · 16/10/2016 13:05

Difficult one, I worked 7 hours a week in year 11 (2004) - so many kids now a days don't yet moan for more money.

YouHadMeAtCake · 16/10/2016 13:05

She still at school. Let her be a child. She's got a lifetime of work ahead of her. Lounging round on a weekend is part of growing up. You're in too much of a hurry to give her responsibilities. Leave her be.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 16/10/2016 13:06

Gosh there are a lot of pampered kids roaming about! I had a Saturday job from age 14 and I loved the independence it brought me. Learning to do things like navigating the bus timetable, dealing with people all stood me in good stead and I enjoyed it! I have very good exam results and did drama rehearsals two or three nights a week too.

Stopping kids from working doesn't do them any favours.

potentialqualms · 16/10/2016 13:06

I've often thought my Ds (also yr11) "should" get a job, but I don't know why. We don't especially need the money as a family and he doesn't have expensive tastes in clothes/activities/socialising so I've decided it's better for him to be available when other opportunities strike (eg a weekend away with cadets) and/or extra study is required.

I wouldnt let him waste a day with his phone though - 15/16 or not. I pay for it, I get a say on how it's used

BackforGood · 16/10/2016 13:07

Very judgemental there Edmund - the 2 aren't mutually exclusive you know.

I agree with Imperial -fits with the old saying about if you want something doing, then ask a busy person. Teens are notorious for faffing. Some do lots of activities, others choose to get paid work, but some spend a LOT of time on social media / gaming / just generally not doing stuff.

DawnDonnaAgain Most Sixth form staff will ask students not to work if at all possible, whilst studying. Can you give some kind of statisitical back up to that statement? Only, it's not my experience at all (at several 6th forms)

NicknameUsed · 16/10/2016 13:07

DD is studying for 4 A levels and helps out at Brownies once a week. She gets masses of homework. She also has some health issues, suffers from anxiety and often falls asleep when she gets home from school. While I think having a job would look good on her CV, working right now would be counter productive to her studies. I also thinks she needs some downtime and wouldn't have any if she worked.

I had a Friday evening/ Saturday job and a paper round from 15 and only passed 4 O levels and 2 A levels, so maybe I should have spent more time studying.

daisypond · 16/10/2016 13:08

Mine got a PT job as soon as GCSEs finished and still has the same job now in yr13, Very easy to get. Wrote one CV, handed it in to one shop (big-name high street shop), one interview, one job. Does 5 hours every Saturday. All very professional - with yearly and half-yearly appraisals, etc.

Originalfoogirl · 16/10/2016 13:09

I know how you feel OP, my youngest is 15 and in year 11 and all he seems to do is lay around all day - very frustrating when I'm running round like a mad woman trying to juggle everything else!

So get him up off his backside to help you out. Fine you don't think he should have a job, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be "juggling everything" and have him laying doing nothing.

Do all our daughters a favour and teach him that he needs to help mum out. 😄

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 16/10/2016 13:09

Thing is, though, the extra-curricular stuff is more important now for UCAS and first jobs than it was. I don't see volunteering/doing activities such as sport, clubs, drama, as 'pure' leisure time (though hopefully enjoyable!) - they are now CV building activities. And until we adapt our working society so that a degree is not the yardstick of success, they are necessary to get into good universities.

WatchingFromTheWings · 16/10/2016 13:10

My son got himself a Saturday job a few months prior to sitting his gcse's. It's work experience for what he wants to do when he finishes his education. It's 3 and a half hours a week, plenty of time left for study and homework.

Damselindestress · 16/10/2016 13:12

It's one thing to say that if she has a day off then she has time to work but will she always have the same days available on a reliable schedule as an employer would want or will work and studies clash? Which do you want her to focus on?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 16/10/2016 13:12

Mine have worked at sixth form and uni. They have always had an allowance but if they want more money they just go out and earn it.

DD is still at Uni and fairly busy with her course and her social life. But she is registered with two or three bar agencies. She picks up a shift here and there when it is convenient for her and doesn't impact on anything else.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 16/10/2016 13:12

Seems to be an early 90s thing. I worked one evening a week through GCSEs (Friday) washing up in a pub. Through A levels had a Saturday job plus a couple of evenings, and learned 2 musical instruments and did a ton of socialising as well. Actually I have no idea how I fitted it all in.

Year 11 isn't THAT hard.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/10/2016 13:15

I had a Saturday job from the age of 15 onwards. All through university as well!
It's do-able; but clearly would interfere far too much with your DD's leisure time, so you're obviously BU from her perspective!

minsmum · 16/10/2016 13:16

My dd worked in a pub as well as training for sport 6 days a week.Got reasonable gcse results and really good A levels

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 16/10/2016 13:18

Where are all these Saturday jobs though?

noblegiraffe · 16/10/2016 13:21

Y11 wasn't that hard in the 90s. Nowadays a lot of kids are expected to attend revision sessions after school, sometimes before school, half terms and Easter holidays. Way more pressure these days to get results than there was in the days before league tables.

MargaretCavendish · 16/10/2016 13:21

It's 3 and a half hours a week

Surely there can't be many places that want the hassle of an extra employee for less than a morning a week? When I was that age I didn't work but I did volunteer in the Oxfam bookshop - even they wanted me to do a 'full' shift every two or three weeks rather than my preferred option of a few hours every Saturday.

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