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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wibu or was the manager of this restaurant?

248 replies

Itisraining · 15/10/2016 18:48

Recently went to local restaurant which we go to regularly so know the manager who has a reputation for being a bit tricky. The whole group ordered from the lighter bite menu. I ordered a macaroni cheese with garlic bread (which I have never ordered before). When we came to pay, I noticed I had been charged for the large portion from the main menu(£6.50 more expensive)
When I questioned it,
the manager said, "you didn't say you wanted the small one"
I said "I didn't say I wanted the larger one either and the other one says it comes with garlic ciabatta and I said the one with garlic bread"
Him, " they are both garlic bread, madame and you didn't say which one you wanted, did you not notice that it was the larger one?"
Me, (staying very polite) "No, I have never ordered it before and why did you assume, I wanted the big one when we all ordered from the lighter bite menu?"
You, "you are an adult"
Me, "But surely if there are 2 sizes, it is up to you to ascertain which one?"
Him, getting very exasperated and irritated, "you need to see this from my point of view, oh forget it, i'll charge for the smaller one, I can't be bothered to argue" He strops off.
Left feeling quite troubled. This is somewhere we give a lot of custom to. I now feel awkward about going back.

Was I wrong to question the order? For me it was clear that the one I ordered was the small one with garlic bread NOT the one which was labelled with ciabatta.

OP posts:
DaniRodwell · 16/10/2016 18:47

'It's not up to the waiting staff to check you have ordered the right dish'

That is the very job description!

OP ywnbu at all! People either misread the first post and subsequent explanations or are purposely being dense.

hanr84 · 16/10/2016 18:54

YANBU I'd have done the same. If everyone else in the party was ordering from the light bites of course you wanted the light one too. More fool the company for having 2 dishes called the same thing. You specified with garlic bread, not ciabatta. Their fault entirely.

SoupDragon · 16/10/2016 18:55

It's not up to the waiting staff to check you have ordered the right dish'

She did order the right dish.

Bogeyface · 16/10/2016 18:58

So if you order "the prawns" you should be happy with what you get given and dont expect the server to say "Is that the prawn cocktail or the prawn salad?"

Fair enough. If I had known that then I would have served my customers any old shit I wanted to get rid of!

Happylotti · 16/10/2016 18:59

YaNbu!!!!!!!! I used to work in a pub which did lunch time menu on top of our normal one, you'd usually guess that if most of them where ordering from the lunch time menu that they usually all were....,,if you wernt sure you'd ask......as for a £13 odd £ macaroni cheese that sounds expensive!!!!! Also for all those people out there saying op is bu......surely if she got a massive portion she would have said something at the time, like 'this seems a bit big for the lunch menu'

Flozle · 16/10/2016 19:23

I've worked in restaurants for years. I would have checked which Suze you wanted, and if it wasn't clear on the check, the chefs would have sent me back to ask. The manger sounds a twunt, to be honest.

Flozle · 16/10/2016 19:23

Size, not Suze. Bloody apple.

Cassns1 · 16/10/2016 19:26

Yanbu. If everyone ordered of the lite bites menu, then why would they assume you were ordering from a different menu. If they have 2 menus with the same dish, they should check which size you wanted.
.

CarShare · 16/10/2016 19:54

YANBU- they should have checked. I'd have also mentioned it.

Mindfields · 16/10/2016 20:32

However, I'm curious as to why you said the one with the garlic bread. Was there more than one version of macaroni cheese in the light version?

From the OP

"When I questioned it, the manager said, "you didn't say you wanted the small one"

I said "I didn't say I wanted the larger one either and the other one says it comes with garlic ciabatta and I said the one with garlic bread"

I read that as the lighter menu comes with garlic bread, the main menu one comes with garlic ciabatta and that's why the OP mentioned bread.

Unless it came as a large portion with garlic ciabatta I'd assume I'd been served the lighter menu portion, as ordered.

YANBU for expecting what you ordered.

Haffdonga · 16/10/2016 20:47

He was incredibly U reasonable to say you are an adult. That's so rude. But not unreasonable to assume if you ordered one meal that it was the main meal size portion that you wanted.

You should have paid for the portion you ate.

Lweji · 16/10/2016 20:53

Mindfields
My question stands.
You don't seem to have noticed that the OP claims she didn't know about the version on the other menu when she ordered.
In any case, I'd hope the OP would answer.

Catsize · 16/10/2016 20:55

He sounds totally unreasonable. Their error. Why should you peruse the entire menus in case there are different sizes? If serving from a bar, I'd always check drink sizes etc.

I wouldn't go back - he was very rude and wrong to argue. Should he really be in a customer-facing role?

pamhill64 · 16/10/2016 21:19

Totally agree with you! If they do 2 sizes they should ask you which you want. If you go to the Bar they ask what size and even show me the different glass sizes if I can't visualise. What's the difference? They know the menu not you. What if you hadn't seen it on the regular menu? And if your companions ordered off a smaller menu then the assumption is your choice is too. Imo many portions are far too large and overly costly as a result. No one seems to do "normal" sizes as standard and you are encouraged to overeat simply by normalising these giant portions. No wonder more of us are overweight these days! Sorry for the slightly off topic rant! And definitely go back to the restaurant, you did nothing wrong and the Manager shouldn't have been an idiot!

Gyderlily · 16/10/2016 21:45

In these cases it's always the standard size one unless specified at ordering so ultimately you were responsible.. He shouldn't have been so rude though!

dustarr73 · 16/10/2016 22:08

In these cases it's always the standard size one unless specified at ordering so ultimately you were responsible.. He shouldn't have been so rude though!
How many times do you have to be told she didnt know there was 2 sizes of mac and cheeseShe thought she had ordered the standard size.

Anyway all these people saying she should have paid.If you go out and are charged double for something,thats ok cause you should have known

Original poster
Itisraining · 16/10/2016 22:17

Wow, just returned and can't believe how many posts there are. Thank you to the lovely posters who tried to clear up the misconceptions on my behalf. I guess, there will always be people who don't read it properly.

Not sure if this is relevant, but there is only one menu and the larger (differently labelled!) MC was in a different section. I usually eat there at lunch so never look beyond the lighter meals.

2kids2dogs you have it spot on with your comment
'Plus, OP wanted to know whether she was in the wrong - she thought not, but wanted to be sure - or at least know that there would be some people who would have had the same expectations as she did. - i.e. that if no staff suggested there were two sizes of a dish, that there was only one and she had ordered it.'

Monky, what made you think that it was a large group? Was this an assumption? Even if it had been a large group it would have been fine to want the lighter bite for lunch.

Happypoobum and Sophiestew, if it had been any old restaurant, I would not have given it a second thought, but this is a very local one, I have sent several thousand pounds worth of custom their way and I will be sending another couple of thousand pound's worth of custom in the next couple of months. (He knows this-the deposit has been paid! ) He also knows that I am 'a very honest customer who does not 'try it on' as another poster has suggested! This is why this interaction has irked me so much.
I created that other thread by mistake and I do not know how to get it removed as I am not a regular on here, more of an occasional lurker.

I wish you could reply to individual messages like you can on FB as by the time you get to the bottom, you have forgotten what you have read, or is that just me?

To the rare posters who enjoy making snide comments. You just make yourselves look bad. I might be 'poncey' as another poster suggested or 'smug' but I also might be your lovely neighbour or your child's teacher who nurtures your child, or your doctor or nurse who was there for you in your hour of need. I could even be your best friend who hasn't told you about this incident yet! You do not know who you are having a dig at. And you have to ask yourselves, why you want to make a snide comment. I would like to think of myself as a kind person and yes maybe a little sensitive at times, it's not a bad thing, It is what gives us empathy.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 16/10/2016 22:25

Well said raining. Unfortunately AIBU has become synonymous for 'I will concoct a scenario that has no bearing on the OP and while I'm at it, I'll get a few snide digs in because I'm a bit bored tonight'

shouldHAVE · 16/10/2016 22:31

Of course you were not BU. Quite shocked by the number of posters who think otherwise. Same old, same old... the same post by a different more popular poster would have had a completely different response.

If I had ordered something with garlic bread and it came with ciabatta, I wouldn't question it, I would assume that was their way of doing garlic bread. The waiter should have confirmed size with you, especially as the rest of the group were having light bites.

butterfliesandzebras · 16/10/2016 22:45

I can't believe how many people think you were in the wrong!

If I am ordering from a restaurant I have never ever gone through the whole menu to check that there isn't a similarly named but more expensive version of the same dish Confused. I can't see why anyone would. It's the restaurants responsibility to make the menu clear and either give each dish a separate name or to have the servers clarify if there are similar items at different price points.

YANBU at all.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 16/10/2016 23:56

You better not be my best friend, sloping off for a meal like that and not inviting me!
Wink

KoalaDownUnder · 17/10/2016 00:39

It's the restaurants responsibility to make the menu clear and either give each dish a separate name or to have the servers clarify if there are similar items at different price points.

In a nutshell, yes.

Also insane for the manager to argue with a regular customer over it. Amazes me that people think otherwise.

TheStoic · 17/10/2016 00:44

YWNU, and I wouldn't be going out of my way to send more business his way.

TheEternalForever · 17/10/2016 00:59

Personally I would have said "I'll have the lite bite mac n cheese please" so that there was no misunderstanding. I suggest you make doubly sure if you decide to go there again (so this doesn't happen again and you don't have to deal with it all over again) Smile The manager was being horrifically rude, he had no reason to react like that.

Personal story that's kind of connected to the post and also kind of in sympathy with some of the PP who talked about what people would try to get out of paying - I used to be a waitress, and at our pub there were lighter options of certain main meals. The meals that had the lighter options had "lighter option available" in brackets after the name of the dish. Pub policy was that, if the lighter option wasn't specified, they were to receive the regular main size. However, I usually asked them if they wanted the main or the lighter option just to be certain - the amount of filthy looks I got for asking them to clarify was shocking! The incident that most springs to mind was when a woman ordered lasagna and I said cheerfully "and would that be the lighter option or the regular main meal?" She absolutely lost it, shoved the menus into my chest and said (loudly and snottily) "if you have to ask a stupid question like that you CLEARLY will never be anything more than a waitress!" She then turned and started talking to her husband, completely blanking me. I took the ticket to the kitchen and, seeing as "lighter" wasn't specified on the ticket, she received a full sized portion. Scoffed it all down, didn't say anything when I went back to ask if everything was okay, didn't leave anything on her plate and then, when presented with the bill, shouted across the pub to me that she wanted the lighter option and didn't want to pay full price. When I tried to explain that she hadn't specified the size and it was our policy to give the regular size if not specified, she YELLED (so loudly that the other customers stopped their conversations to look) that I was clearly stupid and brain dead and if I'd worked for her she'd have kicked me out so quickly I'd end up in the next county! She wasn't allowed back to the pub, at least while I still worked there (my boss was very good about dealing with "abuse" to staff).

wanders away thinking about how much I hated waitressing Grin

Gyderlily · 17/10/2016 08:59

how many times do you have to be told she didn't know there was 2 sizes of Mac and cheese

Generally on lite bite menus the hot meals (not the sandwiches etc but it's usually split in to sandwiches/plated meals/salads) are a smaller version of something from the main menu so i'd have assumed all the meals in that section were also on the main menu! I find it hard to believe in all the time op has been there (she's a regular) she doesnt sometimes look at the main courses too even if she doesn't order from it.
Apologies for not reading in full the whole 9 pages bit in the op she states she knew the main course Mac and cheese came with ciabatta where as the lite bite came with bread which gave me the impression she was aware! If that has been changed since I didn't see it.