To think it serves her right?

[JunosRevenge]

My DD was treated badly all through primary and secondary school by her group of 'friends'. They put her down at every opportunity, and called her stupid. Her nickname to them was 'Airhead'. They criticised her clothes, her hair, her other friends, her pastimes and hobbies. They all played instruments and she was mocked for not being as good as them.

We moved away when she was 16 and despite being diagnosed with severe anxiety, she did very well at A levels and is now at her 1st choice uni. Just started her 2nd year.

Yesterday I heard that the chief Mean Girl (studying medicine at prestigious university) completely failed all her 1st year exams. She has dropped out (much to the fury of her parents) and is working at a shop in the Uni town.

I can't help feeling just a bit pleased. Does this make me a bad person?

FirstTimerAtBeingAMummy

I have found that most (many/all) bullies are the same as they were in school, because people say that "they are not the same person" or excuse their behaviour in other ways.

You are not a bad person, this is somebody that upset/hurt your DD so it is more than understandable.

My DD had a terrible time at school from year 9-11, some of the stuff the ring leader wrote online about her made me feel fucking sick now a girl of that age could be that vile is beyond me. It all came to a head when she broke DD arm. Anyway DD is now also in he 2nd year at uni and she's loving it, she is a bright, happy young girl with many friends but I do feel satisfied when I see that the nasty bully has got nothing DD has- maybe she should of listened at school instead of bullying my DD

I don't believe we change much from our teenage years, you just learn more knowledge. Lets face it by teenage years you know bullying is wrong and you do it regardless, you don't suddenly mature and become a nice person because you've left school

No, it doesn't. Anybody would feel a private spurt of satisfaction at that.

DS1 is v isolated, having been bullied and excluded for years. I lie awake at night sometimes, fantasising about just these sorts of scenarios. And yes, I would want to go into the shop. It's true that she may be a different person now, and we may all have done things at school that we're not especially proud of, but it's so, so frustrating to think that the bullies can simply just walk away from all the hurt they cause, just because they can and it makes them feel good. I'm sorry - I'd be in that shop. I wouldn't smirk; I wouldn't say anything, but I'd make damn
sure she'd seen that I'd seen her.

She may have been turfed out due to behaviour rather than academic reasons.

DrSeuss I love that 'Mills of God' saying, I read it in a Susan Howatch book years ago and I use it whenever I can. Which is sadly not very often

Sorry to derail btw

^That is what 'karma' is. Your own nasty personality traits bite you in the ass in the end*

^^This

But 'karma' also means that your NICE personality traits reward you as well.

Happy people do not bully others

YABU

You don't know the full circumstances why this girl failed/dropped out. She could have been very ill with stress.

I dropped out of uni due to severe anxiety and phases of depression, I really wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Anyway, what's so wrong with working in a shop???
It's hardly the end of the world, besides you may find no one will employ your wonderful DD when she graduates and she may just have to take a low paid job to pay her bills, LOL!!

Haha brilliant serves the little cow right KARMA always catches up with you in the end. You should be doing a happy dance right now.

YANBU - to this day 30 years later the school bully still makes my blood run cold, I hope, she got what she deserved in life.

However, "we" are supposed to forgive.

But I find it hard when the bitch ruined my early school years

Some thoughts are best held privately OP.

If you knew her parents, I hope you had words about her attitude and behaviour towards your dd? misses point

It's not worth wasting energy thinking or gloating about her "downfall". It might just be a temp glitch. What if she does well later in life? Will you be pissed off then?

Sometimes Karma does its thing and when you find out you have so moved on you feel a bit sad about it - but yes vale it will find him and hopefully when it does you won't care

It's your tiger mummy instinct. Just remember this girl wasn't lucky enough to have a mummy, who taught her the important things in life such as respecting, caring and looking out for others as well as herself. So perhaps once the initial gloating has passed, you could think on this and perhaps see how emotionally disadvantaged the girl actually is in relation to yours. If you rephrase the judgment, it's actually sad for her.

I don't want to sit watching the river long enough to see anyone's body roll by, thank you.

I can say quite confidently that school bullies don't always change or grow up.
Recently one of my friends who was bullied in school by the "popular kids" posted on a FB group to arrange a reunion. Loads of the "popular" ones piled in, mocking her, egging each other on, acting like they did back in school. She didn't realise they were taking the piss out of her
It's 10 years ago since we left school and they are still the same dickheads as they were back then. They were bullies in school and are still bullies now because 1)That's their personality 2)They haven't grown up or moved on from the school mindset. I had a few encounters with them myself at school eg name calling, being pushed around, having chewing gum thrown in my hair, puddles kicked in my face. And they did this to many other people as well. Some more than others, especially the kids with learning difficulties.

Honestly I wouldn't like to bump in to any of them now especially if together in a group. They are just horrible horrible people.