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AIBU?

To think shame on mumsnet, for the lack of coverage and support of baby loss awareness week

27 replies

LardLizard · 14/10/2016 23:20

Yes I've seen one v small link to one blog about mc, but that's it

Really Disgraceful for a site that's supposed to be all about supporting mothers

OP posts:

Report

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 14/10/2016 23:25

There's lots of support on here for those who have lost children.

If MN made a big deal out of awareness week they would probably upset as many people as they inform. They can't really win.

You should maybe start a supportive thread if you feel the need to.

LardLizard · 15/10/2016 00:24

Really, so you think the debate in parliament this week perhaps shouldn't have happened incase it upset anyone
All this work shouldn't happen incase it upsets anyone

What weird thinking

How are we ever going to improve this country's shameful stillbirth rates with those kind of out dated narrow minded mind sets

And don't patronise me, I know where to go for actual support

I'm talking about raising awareness and reducing the outrageous number of stillbirths on this country compared to our comparative countries

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2016 00:31

What did Mumsnet say when you contacted them about this?

ImperialBlether · 15/10/2016 00:43

Can you link to your thread?

MrHannahSnell · 15/10/2016 01:05

This is the first I have heard of this "week". Perhaps the blame lies with those organising it rather than MN.

Impatientwino · 15/10/2016 06:11

I've been incredibly well supported on here after losing DS2 at 39 weeks 7 months ago. Posters here have been amazing and helped me so much on some very dark days.

From my perspective I think there has been lots of coverage in general, lots of friends have shared links on Facebook or have contacted us to say they have been watching the news, found the speeches moving, asked questions about our son - people have been talking about it which is the entire point.

Maybe contact mumsnet hq and maybe make some suggestions for next year?

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 15/10/2016 06:29

Lard I'm not sure why you feel the need to put words into my mouth or get so aggressive with me.

Contact MNHQ and tell them that you feel they are a disgrace and see what you can achieve that way.

BombadierFritz · 15/10/2016 06:40

how about letting mn know the awareness week has spurred you on to want mn to campaign on the issue, rather than moan moan moan? it would be a good area to campaign on. mn has led campaigns on miscarriage care, maybe one on antenatal care aimed at reducing stillbirths?

TheDowagerCuntess · 15/10/2016 06:58

This is really not going to go well.

Your OP is valid, but has been worded in such a way as to kick off vitriolic replies

I don't think you're going to get the sympathy and agreement you're seeking from this thread.

HaPPy8 · 15/10/2016 07:30

I think people need to think for a minute why the OP may have raised this as an issue before replying.

I understand the point you are making OP.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 15/10/2016 07:32

I think people need to think for a minute why the OP may have raised this as an issue before replying.

I agree.

OP

PotteringAlong · 15/10/2016 07:33

what would they have needed to do to be, in your eyes, not a disgrace?

EdithWeston · 15/10/2016 07:40

The only other MN thread I've seen was in Feminist Chat and the OP was critical of how one of the bereaved parents spoke in The House. Not an edifying thread.

I'm OK with MNHQ not doing much on the site as a whole - there are so many good causes that it simply cannot cover everything.

And what appears on the Talk pages is pretty much up to us

AuntieStella · 15/10/2016 07:48

I've just found the link (it's towards the bottom of the homepage)

It's about miscarriage, which is only part of the baby loss week. There is nothing on the stillbirth (the subject of the parliamentary debate), and nothing whatsoever on perinatal death.

I hope that in future years, if MNHQ is going to put links related to an event, they'll cover the other aspects of it, as - sadly - this subject won't be going away. Though I agree it's a pity the opportunity to do something with the Parliamentary debate on stillbirth was missed.

christinarossetti · 15/10/2016 07:53

I agree with OP's point and I imagine that there's enormous pain, grief and sadness behind her posting style.

Baby loss is NOT a 'good cause' Edith, it's a lived reality for millions of women.

Given that this is a parenting website whose aim is ' to make parents lives easier', it would have made sense for MN to help raise the profile of baby loss.

I expect there'll be an acknowledgement of the wave of light this evening.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 15/10/2016 07:59

Well i've seen a few threads

Perhaps you didn't look hard enough op. And there's no need to be so nasty and goady either

BakeOffBiscuits · 15/10/2016 08:05

I agree with you op and noticed it myself.

There should have been a much more concerted effort to tell everyone about what was going on this week, especially the Parliment debate.

BakeOffBiscuits · 15/10/2016 08:06

Also, the U.K. has one of he worst rates of miscarriage and still birth in the developed world. It's really is something MNHQ should be promoting.

EdithWeston · 15/10/2016 08:22

I am sorry that my choice of words caused offence.

There are, sadly, many tragedies and distressing conditions which families may have to endure. Many of these have a relevant charity which carries out awareness raising, as well as providing support and funding research.

I had no idea it was wrong to describe those bodies and their activities as good causes, and stand corrected.

indyandlara · 15/10/2016 08:23

Earlier in the month a thread about bereaved parents sharing photos of their deceased children was taken down as it may upset people. I agree OP. Babyloss is horrific. I will never again be the person I was before my son died. There is lots of rhetoric around breaking the taboo and much support can be found in forums like this. Unfortunately though, all too often it's said it is too upsetting for people to see.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 15/10/2016 08:32

they helped research the causes of stillbirths

They also did a campaign with Tommy's about miscarriage.

MNHQ are always supportive of bereaved parents, we have space and freedom to talk, they are very quick at taking down offensive threads that pop up, they are also great at spotting the child loss trolls that pop up frequently. One year I recall a really informative thread about counting kicks was put as a sticky for a month or so.

Other than start a thread, which is largely down to the posters on here what can they do? Putting adverts everywhere about the week will undoubtedly be a trigger for some bereaved parents. If they chose one thing to campaign about then they would get complaints from others as to why they havent campaigned about something else, I've seen it happen before when people have been raising awareness about other things.

To be honest I think the support they give all year round is far more important than doing something for this one week.

christinarossetti · 15/10/2016 11:27

The parliamentary debate was a hugely significant event though.

It's not just about awareness raising weeks, but how that feeds into public policy and strategy.

LardLizard · 22/10/2016 23:13

THank goodness for the people on here able to explain it a lot better than I can
Your eloquence is lovely

Your so right the parliamentary debate was a hugely significant event

Thanks

OP posts:

crashdoll · 22/10/2016 23:43

I find MN a wonderfully supportive place for some things and I've seen a lot of love, care, support and advice for those who have experienced loss. As Elsa said, rather than a nod in the direction of an awareness week, they've gone one step further and actually supported their users every week.

christinarossetti · 23/10/2016 21:26

Um, I think OP is talking about more than a 'nod in the direction of an awareness week'.

That's a really dismissive and patronising take on LardLizard's posts crashdoll.

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