To be annoyed that Nursery is forcing potty training at a prescribed age?

[Waitinforaflamin]

So, my DC has just started nursery in the last 3 months. She is just over 2. Sold as a lovely nursery, nurturing, child centered. An email was sent out yesterday to all parents advising that they have changed their 'policy' and as of January any child over 2.5 who is not potty trained will be excluded.

My understanding is that forcing a child to PT prematurely can be detrimental to them developmentally. Also my child is no where near PT therefore I will have to take out weeks or more from work until my child is reliably trained before I can send them back. When asked to clarify this, they confirmed that this was the new policy as they were wasting time changing nappies and couldn't meet every child's needs?! This is a setting that takes children 3 months to 5 years and is not attached to a school.

I get the fact the parent needs and should take responsibility for the PT of their child, but surely its not unreasonable to work with a nursery in respect of this - especially if your child is full time.

AIBU to be hacked off with this attitude fuck off we cant be arsed to wipe arses attitude and the new policy?

They should not be in this business, they are crap! Their response to you, reflects that. I think you won't be the only one walking, then they will have lots of time on their hands.

Children with sen here also, in nappies at 6. Sen not at all evident at 2.5, in fact advanced in several areas, average in some. In hindsight there were signs but no pead anywhere would have been able to diagnose

Their reasoning is SO flawed! Care routines, and supporting a child with gaining independence in their self care is all part of their role within the EYFS. By saying that they are wasting time changing nappies, they are missing out part of the curriculum.
Awful awful awful practice. Happy to hear you are pulling your child, I hope other parents do the same :(

Mine were trained st a council run nursery at aged two years three months. I can never get my head round people waiting until a child is over three

Please send those emails to ofsted
I'm a nursery manager
The nursery sounds absolutely awful
They cannot exclude children for being in nappies
They cannot demand children don't use dummies
They are clearing demonstrating their ignorance of child development
I'm glad your pulling your child out
I repeat, please report them as it gives all us good providers a bad name when settings behave like this

Flabulous
All children are different, and should be treated as individuals
Some children do have reasons why potty training is later, these reasdons may not yet be obvious
Its really not the case that all children should do xyz by a certain age

I would be withdrawing my child straight away. Any nursery who feels developmental milestones have a cut off age is quite frankly shit! My DS took his nappy off at 3 years 2months himself and has virtually no accidents. On the other hand know kids who were "potty trained" at 2 and couple of years later seem to have accidents every other day. Withdraw and report would be my advice

Lucky you, Flabulous. It is though, true that children are ready at different ages. My friend began pt her DC at 20 months because that's what her mother, MIL and SIL had done. At that time (nearly 30 years ago, there was also an old Nanny in the news who recommended tying a 9 month old on the potty to a table leg to train them. Her child, was or by the age of 36 months. With my dc 1I tried at 24 months, but dc1 was clearly not ready and as I was 6 months pg , with HG and just didn't have the strength to deal with accidents, I chose to wait before trying again . When dc1was 30 months, I was well enough to try or and within a few days it was done. Given the choice between a couple of days of accidents or a few months (or longer, like my friend), I know what was better for DC and me.
And what about children who have any development delays? Should they be forced to pt by a given age rather than when their body is ready?

It doesn't even make sense saying no nappies after 2.5 as the required ratio of staff goes from 1:4 to 1:8 at 3. So I'd wonder whether they were sticking to the ratios for 2 year olds.

I agree - leave and don't get conned into paying notice when they changed their T&Cs. Report to OFSTED.

This is just so the very opposite of how a nursery should be and makes me really sad

When my little boy turned up at nursery, he was 3, in pull ups, barely talking, couldn't hold a pencil let alone scribble, and would barely eat anything other than spaghetti or sandwiches.

One year later and he was fully potty trained, can now read and write, do basic sums, never shuts up, and he will eat things like chicken, rice, apples, salad etc. (things he wouldn't touch at home!) and is trying new things all the time so happily!

I fully believe 50% of the credit goes to his nursery who have supported and helped him with every single issue with great kindness and understanding.While we worked really hard at home, I don't think he would have made such huge developmental leaps without them. (No SN diagnosed as of yet but open minded for the future).

THIS is how good nurseries should work IMO -working on what is best for the child developmentally without focusing on calendar age.

Toogood sounds like ds 4:9 years recently started school. He entered school attached nursery a year ago, on an 18/20 month development level, and in nappies, nearly talking and not eating snack or food there. He is now fully toilet trained in the day, eating his school dinners, catching up, so he's about 1:5 years behind, making friends, speech is so much better, not able to read or write though. His classroom helper at nursery and at school has been excellent. The school are applying for an EHCP, because his learning is a bit behind other kids, and they fear in yr1 it will get harder so need extra support. But he has come on leaps and bounds.