AIBU to think Ikea was created by the Devil to test relationships?

[BowieFan]

Me and DP both had a rare day off together today. We decided (foolishly) that we would finally and go and pick out a new bed for our bedroom which we've just finished redecorating.

4 hours and some meatballs later and we finally left Ikea with the bed (not the one we wanted but I refused to leave empty handed).

DP has just finished putting it together. There's 4 screws left over, a bolt of some kind and several plastic things. I am terrified to sit on the bed in case it collapses under the slightest weight.

AIBU to think Ikea is actually hell and was created to see how strong a relationship is? It isn't even DP's fault and I wanted to murder him before we left.

I used to love IKEA. We lived near the Croydon one and I had loads of great IKEA hacks. Dds were babies and used to eat the free Ella's pouches. It was quite nice drifting about idly wondering whether I would like a lime green washing up brush for 79p. (Answer: why the hell not! obviously) Of course - I never went there with exP. no no no no no no no no. That would have been horrific.

My DH and I went to IKEA on the most recent Bank Holiday just for meatballs and a basket. We furnished most of our first house from IKEA. I won't have a bad word said about it.

We manage. In fact, we usually have a fun time. Even then we and up buying things that are too big for the car and we spend an hour playing real life Tetris to fit it in.

You have all reminded me of how much I love ikea.

Pokes dp awake to suggest ikea tomorrow

That's true, Bowiefan, one time I went in on my own while DH was in some other bit of the retail park and I got everything I wanted, no mess, no fuss.

And I always build the furniture - DH is crap at that stuff as he sees the instructions more as a guide than to be strictly followed It's really not that hard! I see is as a kind of 3D puzzle - it'a fun!

I've never lived close enough to an Ikea to go regularly. Hated that the Ikea distribution centre was in Peterborough but no store
Been a few times with DH, never had an argument there, always end up coming away with more than we went for. Most recently we've ordered online and had delivery. Led to far less impulse buys
Never had the meatballs, or any other food, there!

We have the ikea masterplan. I only take dh for specific heavy item that I cannot lift into the car. Everything else u go solo or with mil

Sorry OP but you're an amateur.

Try doing it with a baby and a toddler as well as an OH.

My top tip is to bribe everyone - if they are good then they can have one of those 50p hotdogs at the end.

We reached IKEA nirvana last time we went. DCs were old enough to go happily in the supervised soft play creche while DH and I wandered around together! It was like old times ...

Well the bed survived the night. Good job DP didn't want to christen the bed with a night of vigorous lovemaking (why start now?), because I don't think it would've done otherwise...

We've tried ikea together but it just doesn't work. DH only goes if he can go straight to the warehouse, pay and go. I check the stock and where it's located, together with the product number and he'll go and get the item if muscle is required. DH is great at assembling stuff and doesn't quibble about it.

Otherwise DD and I go. As a treat, we will go on a Saturday evening, leaving the boys at home. We aim to get there for 6pm and have tea there and then a good browse, opening all the cupboards, sitting on the sofas, buying random items (usually a tray and napkins). A much more pleasant experience.

I really don't like going with friends either. I quite like it as a solitary experience.

We were once stuck behind a couple in ikea having a huge row in hissed undertones. Turned out it was over a toilet roll holder. DP and I have vowed never to be that couple and haven't gone back in about 8 years as a precaution. I love ikea.

Update

We may have to go back to Ikea. DP fell and broke my coffee table with his head. He's fine sadly.

DW and I used to go to IKEA just to eat (all right, call us sad now) which at our branch is on the first floor overlooking the car park.

And there was a magical occasion when we watched a couple trying to get purchases which were too big into a car which was too small, configuring the seats this way and that and getting more and more stressed with each other.

And then they made it, by which time there were twenty people at the window watching them in silence - broken by cheering and applause and hammering on the window which they heard.

And he looked up and waved, and she looked even more angry. Oh to ahve been a fly on the inside of that car as they left . . .

My BIL paid for most of DNieces wedding by parking his van outside the exit of their local Ikea and charging people who couldn't get their shopping in their car £50 for a lift home

DH refuses to go now. Once, when we were young and in love, he came with me to Ikea to buy a Billy bookcase. He had manflu. The bookcase only fitted in the car with all the seats down and DH had to lie across the flatpack on his stomach, holding on for dear life. We only had a 20 min drive home but he has never, ever forgiven me . Luckily me and the kids love it! We tease him that we are going for a family trip to Ikea. On the rare occasions we do go he refuses to browse through the market place bit. He wants a smash and grab but where is the fun in that??

I can't believe that none of you share our family love of Ikea fantasy lives touring. My (adult) DDs and I find this one of the best bits of a visit there, which has become a regular family treat over the years. What could be more enjoyable than touring the top floor and enjoying the 25 m2 and 50 m2 staged flats? You can see the items these lucky people keep in their clever storage, and look at their identical multiple copies of Swedish books, and admire their coordinated taste. I look at the single apartment dweller's perfectly arranged room and imagine a solitary life there rather than living with messy people and a collection of mismatched and randomly acquired furniture in a house full of random cardboard boxes and discarded items of clothing, as I do.
Then, after enjoying the fantasy lives, we go and have lovely ikea lunch with limitless weekday free coffee, and then do the marketplace tour and buy many things we didn't need and which I hope will magically turn our house into an IKEA lookalike. And then I can go home and assemble it (by following the instructions) and feel skilled. The only problem is if DH wants to come, because he does not really understand the importance of the ritual, especially the fantasy room visits. However, since the Reading store opened, I can now get to one more easily than before. And it's right next door to Dunelm Mill, so one can do both in the same day, if feeling really brave. I love IKEA.

japanesegarden. Don't worry. You can get help.

It's a rule that even if you are going just to buy a specific item for £10, you never leave without spending £200.

I love the veggie hot dogs and chips. The hot dogs are very bland but a perfect foil for the mustard and ketchup. You can keep your meatballs.

I love constructing the flat packs. I read, or rather fathom out, the instructions, sort out the bits of metal, while DH plies me with coffee, encouraging words and is on hand for particularly difficult screw turning.

We haven't been to IKEA recently, must go nearer to Christmas when they have all that Scandinavian stuff in, though I will avoid their gingerbread house kit which wouldn't stick together and ended up being thrown across the kitchen with me in a rage. Have stuck to Lidl's version since then. Which does stick.

I think IKEA is owned by a secret consortium of the world's divorce lawyers!

I use the ikea website to print off the list of which bits from which aisle, check stock, put the drill battery on charge, dispatch Oh in our huge car. On his return once stuff is in I close the door tell the kids ' DONT TALK TO DAD'. I open the door when the swearing stops.

It's the warehouse bit at the end that kills me, every time. It's fine until I get to that section, and then all of a sudden it feels as though you've been there hours and can no longer remember what daylight is like. And they never have things where they are supposed to be, so then we have to have an argument about JUST ASKING SOMEONE. Which I HATE doing, because the dimwit staff just stare blankly at you before suggesting all the places you've already looked, making it a colossal waste of time with the added requirement that you have to be polite to a stranger.

Not to mention the stupid computer catalogue things with their agonisingly slow scrolling and crashing.

I need to go and de-stress now just thinking about those.

DP and I must be doing this wrong, we go to IKEA, pick up the things we need, go home, then we unpack I check we have all the right number of bits. Then we use the instructions and build the stuff.
Which we both find fun.

Hmmm.

google 'ikea dog assembly'. I tried to do a link and failed. I think the dog is called Billy. Very funny.

japanesegarden

We do that but arround naice shops like Harvey Nicks and House of Fraser. Basically, the places I'd shop at if I could be arsed to get my life together enough to make my house look like it would suit furniture from there.

We bought a posh coffee table from Stocktons once and it made the rest of the room look cheap by comparison, so we got rid of it!

My absolute favourite thing to do is go around nice boat showrooms and pretend we're interested in buying (We're not). I love looking at them going "Yes, if I were Alexis Carrington, this is definitely the type of lighting I would have on my yacht."

I'm aware I have no life!

And yes, I have tried (and failed) to do the gingerbread house.

Bizarrely, the only place it stuck was the kitchen wall, several minutes after I'd thrown it there in a rage.