AIBU to think Ikea was created by the Devil to test relationships?

[BowieFan]

Me and DP both had a rare day off together today. We decided (foolishly) that we would finally and go and pick out a new bed for our bedroom which we've just finished redecorating.

4 hours and some meatballs later and we finally left Ikea with the bed (not the one we wanted but I refused to leave empty handed).

DP has just finished putting it together. There's 4 screws left over, a bolt of some kind and several plastic things. I am terrified to sit on the bed in case it collapses under the slightest weight.

AIBU to think Ikea is actually hell and was created to see how strong a relationship is? It isn't even DP's fault and I wanted to murder him before we left.

I think before you get married or buy a house together, every couple should have a compulsory trip to ikea to purchase one intermediate (such as a coffee table) and one difficult (bed, wardrobe) piece of ikea furniture. They must then take them home and assemble them. They are not allowed to sleep until they are complete. Success? Go ahead, take those vows, sign that contract. If not, you have to keep attempting until you do! Would reduce the divorce/separation rates dramatically

I'm so glad this is a thing DP and I never bicker and hardly argue, but we walk out of ikea pissed off with each other. I think it's the huge choice, the disorientating layout, lack of windows, stuffy. By the time the meatballs are cooking we're fine again!

Guide to surviving ikea:

1. Only one person goes at a time
2. Find a handyman to assemble the furniture
3. No returns...ever

IKEA is best described as a Swedish prison that you pay money to get out of

The only way you can get it wrong is if you let my DH put some of the woodeny things (whose name escapes me at the moment) into the wrong holes then breaks them trying to get them out

SpookyPotato

We're the same. DP is my soulmate, my rock and the man I've chosen to spend 20 years with. Yet, when we're in Ikea I find myself thinking "I wonder if it's possible to kill him with a dinner candle?"

DP says I terrify him in Ikea because I have a stare that "could kill a man at 20 paces." This is a man who has fought in Afghanistan and the very thought of taking me to Ikea terrifies him. Does this mean I'm doing my job right?

It's alright, him dragging me round Ikea means I get to drag him round Next and John Lewis and he's not allowed to complain!

Dh and I drove a hour to Wembley Ikea first thing on a Saturday morning (my mum had the kids overnight), and bought a bed which wasn't in the self serve warehouse, but had to be collected at the collection point (after breakfast of course), and they we got home by 11 o'clock feeling all efficient and pleased with ourselves. Started putting the bed together, and realised we had managed to only bring home 2 out of 3 boxes. "Oh well" we sang, jumped in the car, drove straight back, collected box number three, home again, and did succeed in sleeping in the bed that night. All without any cross words or recriminations! I was so proud of us

Everyone else seemed to stroll around at snails pace getting in the way

Yes. This!! Why???

Not as bad as the awkward fuckers who insist on going round the wrong way

Ldnmum2015

Are you married to a man? If not, you will never understand how ridiculous the statement "just tell him to read the instructions!" is!

I'm sure other posters will back me up here, but in general our husbands/partners are quite clearly far more qualified to build flat pack furniture than the people who designed them...

Have you heard the Pam Ayres poem "you should've asked my husband"? - because that is my DP all over.

DH and I are brilliant at putting IKEA stuff together. He is very handy and I am really good a deciphering random instructions. What's more he follows my instructions.

However, we are less than brilliant at shopping in IKEA. The low point was probably the great drawer organiser row...

(p.s. I was right - they were useful and we did need them )

Actual phrase uttered by DP's dad: "Bloody swedish furniture. The day I buy Swedish furniture is the day France makes a good car!"

Now they're calling BIL, a structural engineer. If he turns up I might actually have to film this because it will have taken 5 men to put this bed up. In their defence, apparently the screws are "fiddly" and to put it together involves "bending in inhuman ways"

My DH and I love IKEA. The trouble is we don't agree on anything when it comes to buying something from there and don't get me started on the assembly. He hates reading the instructions and I HAVE TO read them and follow them. A huge fight, the job left undone, screws and bits everywhere, dog runs away with a part, DH steps on something and then we decide to get it done at the end. We always have extra bits at the end. I have no idea how.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude

The worst thing about Ikea is the power it gives you. In 50 years we'll be arguing about something and he'll say "Don't forget that time I was right about the lamp in 2009!" and I'll be powerless. DP is a master of this. He can't remember our phone number but can remember the time I was convinced that Kidderminster was in Scotland, even though it was 20 years ago. Of course, this story has been trotted out every time I tell him he's going the wrong way somewhere.

I must be a bit sad, I love building Ikea furniture and generally find it very straightforward. I have never been with DH though, always go alone.

I think if you live near an IKEA it loses some of its power

I live in Croydon (massive ikea) and probably go about once a month. Sometimes just because I want meatballs and ginger biscuits.

BowieFan
Just print out this thread and remind him of the Swedish bed building fiasco of 2016.

Me and DH NEVER argue. EVER. Well, hardly ever. Unless we're in Ikea. I don't even understand what happens. Shame, cos I love their stuff, especially the kids' toys/furniture.

lapsedorienteerer

See, if I went on my own I feel like I could get it done stress free. DP is what I call a twat wanderer. He simply has to have a good look at everything in the shop. The best analogy is he sees it as a walk in the country and I see it as D-Day. When I take him and the kids shopping, I plan it with precision because otherwise I will genuinely kill one of them.

StrawberryQuik

Like KFC then? We lived near a KFC for 4 years and it soon lost its appeal. Now I crave them... I'm sure it's some kind of magical power.

We just bought a tv cabinet thing from IKEA last week. I asked DH if he needed any help and was declined. No was the reply, about 5 minutes in I had to tell him that a bit looked wrong to me, cue tutting from DH, I reiterated he really should double check as it looked really wrong - turns out I was right and he was wrong!!

Has anyone ever hired someone to build IKEA furniture for them? I've got a chest of drawers in its box that I'm not brave enough to tackle, but I don't want some bloody numpty to say he can do it when he can't.

Has anyone ever hired someone to build IKEA furniture for them?

Yes, best £80 I have ever spent. Took him and his lad 2 hours to do 3 wardrobes, a 5 foot set of drawers and a kingsize bed. I'd already decided I was paying a handy man when Dh insisted we could fit all of the above flatpacked plus the mattress (which wasn't rolled) into a Fiat Punto.

AudreyBradshaw

What is it with men and their inability to judge sizes?

My DP was once convinced he could get a dining room table, mattress, bedside table, two kids and me into my renault clio. Needless to say, it took him 3 journeys to get us all back.

Had a massive session in IKEA Croydon recently on a Sunday stupid me

Got there before it opened. Carpark was nearly full. 3.5 hours later.... however on leaving the queues were a sight to behold!

Tip from me - don't have their vegetable soup. (Don't like their meaballs... yes really!). That soup will live in my mind for a long long time. It honestly looked and I imagine tasted like sick. DH however loves his balls [