Not to buy the best man a suit?

[BarbaraAtTheGardenParty]

DP and I are getting married next year and we want to be reasonably frugal. We are happy to spend money where we think it will be appreciated by us and our guests, and we are very lucky that my parents are paying for the reception, which will be relaxed and low-key and will have a bit of a rustic feel to it, however the other costs are still adding up for us and we aren't in a position to spend unnecessarily.

We thought that as the best man and ushers own decent suits and we aren't having a really formal day we could just buy the best man a tie and pocket square to match DP and get him a boutonniere, rather than buy him a matching suit. We don't think he would be at all fussed! One of the ushers (my brother) has recently bought a lovely suit that clashes with our wedding colours. So my solution would be to get matching boutonnieres for the groom, ushers, best man, and perhaps both our dads, but they can all wear whatever suits they already have, and then differentiate the best man by giving him a matching tie and pocket square to the groom. Would that look OK?

We have bought dresses for the bridesmaids although they were a bargain! Buying suits for the best man and potentially the ushers would cost us a lot of money and we just don't think it's that important that they match as long as they have some detail that signifies they are in the wedding party. What do people think?

We are getting married soon and have just asked everyone, including the best man and groomsman to wear their own suits. My dad, DP and DS are getting new suits, but as our wedding is small I dig t want to end up forking out for matching outfits for half of the adults there!

If they already have suits then that's fine.

If they would need to buy a suit then I think you should offer to pay- you can get some for £70 in river island.

It sounds fine. You're getting married, not staging a film set. The only obligation is the legal one of you two plus witnesses.

We did this and it was fine, I don't recall it looking mismatched but then I wouldn't have minded that anyway - I think we bought matching shirts for them, we definitely bought matching ties (tkmax bargain if I remember correctly!). If people thought we were stingy then meh . I would be astounded if anyone noticed to be honest. If one of them hadn't had a suit then I would have rethought but they all did so it was a non-issue.

Thanks everyone for your input! Mis-matched it is!

YANBU - my groom is buying a new morning coat, trousers etc as he wants to, and wants to have his own to wear at other events in the future. Our best man/ushers are wearing their own suits and will look lovely as they'll be wearing clothes that suit them, fit them and that they're comfy in. They're choosing their own ties/pocket squares etc (we're not aiming for matching and its winter so they'll all be in dark colours anyway).

Like you, I am arranging for buttonholes for ushers/best man/groom/groom's father as 'the wedding party' - and I am very happy with that.

I've actually asked for all the buttonholes to be slightly different (although using the same flowers) as I like individuality, but all cream. As is the bridesmaid's posy. The groom's buttonhole and my bouquet will both also contain a splash of the same colour to mark them apart.

Barbara, our photos show everyone looking happy and relaxed in clothes that fit them properly, tied together by the wedding colour and the boutonniers. It'll be lovely. There is no point wasting money you don't have on matchy-matchy when it doesn't matter to you.

If you were saying "but I must have them all in XYZ" then yes, you'd need to pay, but this is fiiiine. I paid for bridesmaid's dresses because I wanted them all in a certain colour that I don't think any of them had an unpatterned dress in, but I really wanted unmatchy so they just picked one they liked and I gave them the money up to the pre-agreed budget.

You sound reasonable. We did this when we got married. Our pictures are lovely.

Getting married next year, small wedding with less than 50 people, my best friend from uni is my only bridesmaid and I have told her to find a dress she likes and I'll pay for it, the best man is OH's best friend from school and he picked a nice navy suit, really basic trouser and jacket combo and a nice shirt and tie, we got the suit for £120 and shirt and tie for £30. Not too extravagant really and I think a nice gesture since they are making the effort to be there. Having people on your wedding and at a wedding usually involves a lot of expense for them that they haven't chosen, be it travel, child care arrangements, new outfits etc, I've been a bridesmaid 3 times and each time I have offered to buy my own dress, but was also glad when £250-300 dresses were chosen, that I wasn't ever taken up on the offer 😬 if there are a lot of people on the wedding I would suggest hiring.

Our best men and ushers just wore their own suits -- didn't occur to us to do any different tbh. Our bridesmaids wore their own dresses too.

shatner yep same goes for women. I've not been part of a wedding where dresses were bought for bridesmaids but obviously I am aware that it happens. Ones I have attened and been part of bridesmaids have generally been given guidance e.g on colour or style and been allowed to find something that looks good on them.

I do agree that if you want a very specific look you should be willing to offer to pay but I don't think anyone I know would take up the offer.

We got married at the end of July. Was a fairly small wedding of about 40 people and DH and I are in our 40s.

DH bought a suit. None of the men's suits matched. He had two best men - his son and his friend. We bought his son a suit; his friend had one. My dad wore his suit. My BIL wore a suit he owns. They all wore buttonholes but ties didn't match either. We saw no point in making some false matching thing when it was quite obvious who the important people were so to speak. Everyone had a good time as far as I can tell and am very glad we did it the way we did.

My bridesmaids were my DD and my niece aged 10 and 4 and we did get bridesmaids dresses for them which did match

DH has worn his own suit to be best man more than once. At our wedding the best men and ushers all wore their own as it was reasonably informal, think we might have done matching ties but that's all. What's a boutonniere?

We did this but are in Scotland so everyone just wore the kilts they already had and we supplied the ties. It didn't all match but we didn't have a 'colour scheme' anyway and I didn't have bridesmaids so it was fine. Nobody was bothered.

We would have hired stuff if they didn't all have their own.