If you are minted....

[FeralBeryl]

*What is your/ partner's career or job?
*
Not a TAAT more a TIBAT (inspired by a thread)

Someone has a monthly take home pay of £11k
Not going to lie, I fully intend to suddenly obtain the necessary qualifications overnight for whatever it is. sure there'll be an online course....

I know there will have been a great deal of sacrifice, no work home balance etc. I'm not wanting to judge at all-I'm enthralled

Please.

I don't talk about those things on here either. Classy just shutting down my opinion like that... Nice.

I talk about disability but since when is it taboo? Only when you get the disabilist trolls.

Miscarriage is taboo? What?! I read the bum sex thing and rolled with it. If I had a miscarriage I wouldn't think that was taboo to discuss in rl

I can't help the way I was brought up- it's rude to me. I'm not going to change.

stately lots of underachieving, unsupported young people commit suicide every year.

The group most at risk are poor, uneducated white boys.

So whilst there are some high achieving young people who suffer under the pressure, in terms of numbers it's not comparable. Lots of high abiltiy, high achieving DC are very happy indeed.

Sadly, I agree with the above comments about health.

I have had four miscarriages and can tell you that people in RL do not want to talk to me about them. Indeed my own parents and brother will and have done everything to avoid talking about them. My best friend has never talked to me about them and she came to stay four days after I came out of hopistalr after a D and C. And she never mentioned it.

If you think miscarriage is not a taboo you must have shit for brains.

Also, I spend rafts of my time nodding and smiling and parking the scruffy car at work. It's liberating to be able to be open. I don't discuss the baby we lost at 27 weeks either, or our sex life, or dd's health issues.

Well my mum and sister have both had miscarriages and we have never found it a taboo subject. They have/ do discuss it (mum had miscarriage after remarrying so we were both adults by this point) Do you need to be quite so abusive or..? Calling me that isn't very nice.

You know it's ok to have a different opinion to someone else right? But you don't have to say shit for brains or bollocks just because you don't agree. Try having a grown up conversation...

Anewstart a divorce lawyer upthread had it about right, IMO:

*palanca Mon 17-Oct-16 09:53:16
I am a divorce lawyer so I get to see what people earn grin

The people earning the most are:

anyone working in the corporate sector ie the lawyers, accountants, bankers,
people working in IT
people working in the oil business
people who invested in the 1990s in property
people with own businesses

most lawyers and medics earn less than £100k - basically do not go into the "professions" if you want to be very wealthy as save for a few, it is not going to cut it ....*

The highest earners I know work in:

Corporate law and finance, definitely.

Investment banking/PE
Tech (rather than IT), especially if you manage to create something and build a business from it which you then sell for uber-bucks
Property (especially commercial property development)

I think not talking about pay allows inequalities to continue and that's why the movement to publish gender pay gaps is so important.

I also think being very clear on what you're worth in your role/environment is so important. People will pay you less if you let them and twice in my career I have been given my pay award and gone nuclear with rage. Subsequently people thought twice before they tried to pay me less. If I didn't value myself I just would have accepted less because it's too vulgar to talk about money or to ask for me or to expect to be fairly paid.

I had coffee with some of our new graduates yesterday and they were asking me about my career progression. I certainly didn't tell them that from where they are now to where I am was 100% luck.

Forgot to say:

I'm from a working class family and was the 1st one to ever attend university, whilst my partner is from a disadvantaged background, although he had a relatively happy childhood.

It would be nice not to have to constantly worry about money and for my dp to work reasonable hours. I'm just not sure how you make that happen; I think he's trying as hard as you could expect anyone to try. For the last few years I haven't really seen him.

Even when he's physically in the house he's in his office working and he leaves only to sleep (he even eats there so he can work whilst he's eating). How he survives averaging 5hrs sleep a night, I don't know.

I keep positive though as I know we're considerably luckier than many others. We have healthy DC, my health could be worse, dp has a job and we have a roof over our heads and can generally cover our bills, although there isn't enough left over to save.

We aspire to having an income which allows us to save for our retirement whilst having enough money to pay the bills and to still have enough left over to use on leisure pursuits, etc. As well as being able to have a yearly holiday (we've had 2 in the past 15 years).

Ah come on- we've got this far without it turning sour!

Moz you make a really interesting point about discussing finances being vulgar or cringey.
^^ I think this was the case for a lot of us growing up.
Alongside : never ask a lady her weight.
never ask how old a lady is.

Do you not think it's a positive sign that we now can discuss (albeit anon) these points?
People on the thread have just been honest, I am the OP so if anyone is vulgar it's me

I ask for plain nosey reasons such as 'is it achievable to anyone' 'is it all it cracked up to be' 'did your family suffer'

I don't see any smugness either as someone mentioned. It has been fascinating to see different views and perceptions on what people see as 'enough'

Thank you to everyone participating.

notvery is your DH building his own business? What industry? Those seem very brutal hours. For that level of commitment I'd want to see some serious gain (which may not be financial BTW, sometimes there is a hell of a lot of delayed gratification in making money).

Have you just come on here for a row? You will notice if you read my comment properly I was talking about people incessantly using facts and figures in real life.

Why would I want an argument with you. Previous to you post about your silver you also posted that talking about finances in public is rude. This is a public forum.

The movement to publish gender pay gaps is a MASSIVE issue in our industry.

Unsurprisingly its the white men who don't want it exposed. I wonder why????

Yes, whilst holding down a full time job. He's a consulting engineer and loves his work. He spends every evening and all weekend working on his own business.

I feel guilty that I can't contribute, but my health continues to deteriorate, so it's not really an option. My degree was in the sciences so I'd have to completely redo it and my memory is awful with all the drugs I'm on, so I'm not sure I'd be very successful. I really love the volunteer wirh that I do though as it gives me a lot of satisfaction to know I'm helping others.

Notvery there are a number of mentoring organisations in the US (there might be here as well, I'm just more aware of the US ones) that specifically target women who are the 1st in their family to go to college. The ethos being "you've displayed that you have the talent and drive by getting this far - our job is to now give you a boost up by ensuring that you are given opportunities that would otherwise be hidden away from view".

I love that way of thinking. It's essential if we are to level that playing field just a little bit more. Women and minorities have classically been the worst victims of opportunity hoarding, and god forbid you might be from a working class background as well.

Feral it's been a fascinating thread for me, so thanks for kicking off the debate!

The comments which are verging on the 'vulgar' for me is when people don't consider themselves all that well off despite earning huge amounts. And yes they are huge. Paying off a mortgage in 7 years in London by your mid-thirties? I don't see how that cannot be counted as 'minted'. Unless you're Bill Gates there is always someone doing better than you

Yes, feral, it's been a fascinating insight into other ppls lives.

I can't say that I haven't been a bit jealous reading about the lifestyles many of you have; but it's more that I wish we could have it too, rather than begrudging others for having it, iyswim.

Notverylucky, what field of engineering? I'm a consultant in the construction industry and it pretty much wasn't worth it to work in London as the pay didn't compensate at all for the increased costs compared to living elsewhere. But then the London consultants tend to work on the most interesting and prestigious jobs.

Here's something interesting (well it is to me anyway) - many of the people I know who are very wealthy (as opposed to oligarch rich) aren't necessarily planning for retirement as much as you would think. They spend a lot on big houses, cars, holiday homes etc, but invest very little into retirement planning. They plan to fund retirement by downsizing/asset disposal - which IME doesn't always work-out if you've become used to an environment.

*Whatsthecoming

• But isn't it all relative? Much earlier in the thread we were soaking about the fact that children of very minted people didn't realise they were rich. They are educated besides children of the 'super rich' so to them, no they probably aren't in comparison.

People working in London will feel considerably less rich than some of their peers, but move them to Manchester on the same salary and yes, they will feel like Bill Gates

Because an issue isn't particularly relevant to someone, or not something they will likely happen upon shouldn't mean they aren't invited to participate.

Same as the fact that problems for more affluent people seem trite to lots of us shouldn't be dismissed.

Professional sportsman and SAHM :) kinda nearly minted but with the nature of DH work who knows how long it will last?