If you are minted....

[FeralBeryl]

*What is your/ partner's career or job?
*
Not a TAAT more a TIBAT (inspired by a thread)

Someone has a monthly take home pay of £11k
Not going to lie, I fully intend to suddenly obtain the necessary qualifications overnight for whatever it is. sure there'll be an online course....

I know there will have been a great deal of sacrifice, no work home balance etc. I'm not wanting to judge at all-I'm enthralled

Please.

I have inherited money. I actively manage it and have various pots that are invested and not touched (the bulk of the inheritance- I'm not crazy ) and pots that I regularly trade. I particularly like the AIM market and have some shares that I top slice or sell completely as they increase and then repurchase when they crash and others that I hang onto until they have increased by silly amounts. Sometimes I lose my entire holding but I win an awful lot more than I lose.

DH works as an IT consultant and earns a very good salary. He maxes out his pension contributions each year and he pays the bills. I pay for any splurges, mostly holidays, that I want. DC are at private school and we have those funds ring fenced separately.

I think DC think they are not as well off as their peers at school and I'm quite happy to keep it that way. We were comfortable but not well off 5 years ago (hadn't inherited and DH was still an analyst) and other than the private school, outwardly our lifestyle hasn't changed. We haven't moved house, I'm still driving my beat up car, Next clothes are about as designer as I get etc. DH and I come from very different backgrounds and he's not entirely comfortable with how we now find ourselves.

Yorkshire people rock. We rue the day we ever moved away --but we did it for the money-

gosh! I wish we were in half some of the salaries mentioned here! I definitely should have chosen my career with my head and not my heart!

There seem to be a lot of people on here with very high incomes!

We launched our business with £50. Bought the materials, made a few products. Opened social media accounts and went from there.

Dh makes the products we sell (he has worked in that industry since he was 15) I do everything else. I don't have experience in all of it. I used my customer service background and transferred it to Twitter. By far my best skill is building relationships with customers. When people order, I personally email them a confirmation. Perhaps mentioning something they said on social media if they have interacted with us. Or checking if they have ordered previously and thanking them for shopping with us again.

I am 35 and been out of employed work for 4 years and about to go back. I don't like being self employed, I miss mixing with lots of people. I can't wait. But the last four years of hard work have paid off. I will have a well paid job and money coming in from my company. As I will also be doing some work outside my job.

I'm not so sure about the decision to do things to earn money principally being a factor. I think you only become truly successful at what you do if you love doing it and it becomes a vocation.

I'm the one from the more privileged background and yet it's me that will feel uncomfortable on occasion when DH is offered huge sums to take something on - and he doesn't if he doesn't feel he can make an impact. It's me more often who will question the amounts and feel slightly off balance.

DH didn't make his career choice to make money, he made it because he wanted to be an MP and thought it would be the most effective route. Then loved what he was doing, overtook MPs in earning terms, hated the glad handing when he ran for a no hoper and decided to stick with his knitting. He may however have had more influence doing what he does than if he had become an MP.

We're nowhere near that well off, but I know a lot of people who must be, or are near it.
I would say they are:
Hedge fund managers or other well-paid City jobs.
Accountants (maybe partners) for top firms
Have successful own businesses
Are multiple property owners
Lawyers

Some of it also may be luck. Dh could have had better luck in his career. He started off v well, but a couple of redundancies set things back massively. I think his face didn't fit and he wasn't going with the status quo.

Dh has his own business but doesn't pull in that much! I would've hoped by now we would be reaping more rewards financially, but it's up and down.

Also, you may be pulling in 11K a month but also your kids may be educated privately, paying nannies or at least have help domestically, etc so the money isn't going that far. Plus it's quality of life too.

Comiconce, it's a shame that you are so bitter about the success of many of the people on this thread.
It is clear that hard work is a factor in their success, but it is t just about hard work. As many people have said, lots of people work hard in physically exhausting jobs and only earn the minimum wage. So there must be something different causing the wealth.
Qualifications are sometimes a factor in success. Many of the people on this thread have top degrees from top universities and are extremely clever. However, we know that lots of highly qualified, clever people earn very little or are unemployed. So there must be something different causing the wealth. You yourself have 3 degrees - you don't say what they are in or where they are from.....some degrees will be more useful for being in roles that bring in loads of money than others. Some will be more respected than others. Even with the most useful and respected degree (s) many people will never make mega bucks.

So what is it about? Whilst some people do have connections which help, many actually don't, as has been asserted on this thread. I think that it is simplistic and naieve to assume this must always be the cause.....and it is a way of abdicating responsibility....of saying they haven't contributed to their wealth and those who aren't wealthy haven't contributed to their situation either.

In the end, a combination of factors come into play to make people wealthy....as always, these things are never simple. Firstly, many of these wealthy people have unusual characteristics - they are extremely focused and driven (not the same as being hard working) so they can make strategic decisions at the crucial moments which make money. This isn't something which comes from hard work or academic qualifications necessarily. Secondly, as has been seen, they are often risk takers and prepared to live with risk and its potential negative outcomes. Most people are not like that and want to have security at the end of the month of a fixed pay packet and mortgage or rent paid. Again, it's a character trait and not really something acquired through lots of degrees. Notice that many of the wealthy are not employed, receiving a regular income, but running their own businesses, with all the risk that involves.
Another thing is the level of determination and refusal to give into knock backs. Along the way, most wealthy people have experienced bad times....but got back up. They haven't sat there and said 'it's not fair I'm in my 40s with lots of degrees and no chance of a career' but have fought to find a way forward. They never give up and believe there is always a way. Most people find it hard to get back up after knock backs. But for those who can, there is a much better sense of wealth. Some of them even seek the knock backs - they push the,selves to go out of their comfort zones, to seriously risk failure.
Another key feature is that they are problem solvers. So when there are problems with a project or problems with employees or problems with childcare at home ......they find a way forward. They make it happen.
One other thing I notice which I hadn't thought of before this thread, is just how many of them are in couples.....I don't recall many single parents on this thread. It means they have support and there are 2 adults to keep all of the plates spinning. While sometimes both partners are involved in the business and take the risks, or both have high powered jobs, others work it so that one works and the other looks after the children and domestic side. But certainly having 2 adults makes the juggling involved easier.

So, in the end I think being minted comes about for a variety of reasons. These people are hard working, clever, often highly qualified, sometimes with connections, but also highly motivated, driven, problem solving risk takers with a support network behind them that allows them to do the things necessary to make money. They have characteristics which most people actually don't. If you like, that's not fair......but there are lots of things unfair in life. However to think that they have gained their wealth purely through connections is daft and simplistic.

Noofly same as you inherited money and managed though with a dodgy IFA a few years ago I keep an eye on them myself... Just don't touch the vast majority of it but am more nervous of managed funds etc so keep away from that.

Have used some of the inheritance for a loft/attic conversion which is almost finished now!

Lostatthefair has it spot on, 'expertise coupled with business acumen'. There are obviously people out there born with connections who will have good saleries, but most people who earn really well will have massive ambition, be very hard workers and have a very good head on their shoulders coupled with confidence. You cannot be lazy and run a really successful business.

DH comes from a very poor background, he's mother used to make his clothes (80's child) and he had free school meals etc. He has worked so hard since he was 18 to remove himself from the life he was born into. His brain is no better than his fathers but his father had no drive or ambition. He's parents both have jobs, they are the best employees you could have, never take sick days, always on time, hard workers. But they have never thought about running a company themselves, they have no confidence, no ambition and no drive.

Fantastic post Chocolatewombat. I agree about being a supportive couple but it goes beyond that, it's about regarding the partner and others as part of a team.

Bankers. Both of us. We both hate it! Done it for a long time. About to jack it in and emigrate.

The fact is, on the whole, if you're born into privilege, you have a massive head start on the majority of the population. So, yes, in fact, although hard work comes into it, it's basically good luck for the majority of big earners.

So true. Yes there are exceptions where people have come from poor backgrounds and still managed, through hard work to gain wealth, but the majority will have had a good start in life.

I know there are people like Alan Sugar that started with nothing, but they are the inspiring exception. I work my arse off and so do all my colleagues, and we earn bugger all. So saying 'I am minted because I work hard' is insulting and offensive, quite frankly.

Couldn't agree more.

But do you take a chance in life or are you too worried about the mortgage etc.

I don't think anyone has said it is just about hard work. That is certainly an element but as you say lots of people work hard and aren't minted.
I know we are not at a level that a lot of people are here but we thought hard about what we could do to make a significant difference to out lives using the skill set and training we have. We took a chance and so far it has paid off.

Of course some people are minted because they get a foot up - through parenting which provided wider opportunities, better connections, better education, better genes, better nutrition, lifestyle, medical care, resilience, work ethic and expectations....but plenty squander these gifts too.

I feel dh made it because he is determined - he started that long hard slog to where is now when he was 11 years old and became determined to be top of his year at school, determined to go to Oxbridge, determined to excel at work. No one was handing him a free pass - no one expected him to do well except himself.

A question to those who came from humble beginnings and are now minted

How has it affected your relationships with the rest of your family? siblings, parents, etc.

My family - 7 of us, from humble beginnings, are all very well off, there can be a bit of unpleasant peacocking by a few of them - I tend to distance myself from that.
Dh's family were not so successful - don't think it has affected his relationship with them, he has worked for what he has - very little luck involved.

Lawyers both. Massively long hours (think 14-15 hour days sometimes and most weekends if preparing for trials). Both of us have worked from nothing and have made all our own wealth. We don't borrow, we don't flash cash, but we do enjoy the fruits of our labour.

Flip side? One of us doesn't get to see kids that often. Stress and overwork an issue. Sleep is disturbed. Always on the edge of coping. It's great not worrying about cash but there are downsides. I am green with envy when other people's partners are present in the morning routine, home at 5, helping with kids homework, tea, bath, household stuff etc. Sometimes I'd gladly give everything up for that.

1smarty it hasn't really affected it.

But then we still live in a 3 bed house. It's in a good area, but not a massively rush area. Drive modest cars etc.

My brother who earns ok and whose wife is a daughter are the ones that have the best phone, always buying clothes etc. Dbro has no clue what we earn and money isn't something we talk about.

My kids don't go to private school and still have the same friends they had when we were skint. I would be surprised if anyone knew how much our business earns.

My kids know what background I am from and how poor we were. She knows she is privileged because we have food in the table, can have the heating on when we want and have days out, a holiday etc. But she has no clue (she is 12 and not even interested) in what we earn. She has a phone but has never shown any inclination to have the newest phone or the highest contract.

Ds is 5. Both kids are expected to do jobs around the house and earn pocket money. Both have one hobby (it's the same one) , there is nothing extraordinary about our lives.

1smarty
Read the excellent post by ChocolateWombat a few before yours, it's not about working hard at all.
I used the example earlier of a doctor and a cleaner on a ward, both working physically hard (moreso the cleaner) for 10-12 hours. But then the cleaner goes home and that's it.
Some City jobs where you're responsible for bazilllions of pounds and surrounded by arseholes a lot of the time as well as having to stay up all night with no extra thanks in the early days.
That brings in the megabucks. But longevity is precarious and not for a lot of us.

I love to think I could go and do something high flying and risky, but at the end of the day, I need to know that my bills will get paid.
I'm unwilling to compromise this fact and will therefore never ever be remotely minted

Should also say this level of success is fairly new to us. After years of watching money it's hard to change your ways. We are happy with our life, where we live, where the kids go school etc so seen no reason to change.

I would also be very uncomfortable with learning to rely on this money. In business it can turn and disappear very quickly. As it stands my employed work would cover all our bills plus extra. It's one of the reasons I am going back. To be in the financial shit we would have to lose the business, me lose my job and then burn through substantial savings.

After growing up poor I feel the need to have lots of financial back up.

Would like to echo that it's not all about connections and a leg up, our parents were both poor as church mice when we were kids. I remember hiding behind the sofa when the landlord came to collect the rent as my mum just didn't have it.

DH has no degree, is a massive grafter and taught himself how to be a designer and then photographer.

I went to uni in the days when there were still grants otherwise I could never have afforded to go. I also worked the entire time in a factory, then went home in the holidays and worked in shops.. meaning I never got into debt. My housemates took loans and lived off their parents and never worked.

So we built ourselves up from absolutely nothing, and to suggest our success is based on hand outs is quite frankly insulting.

1smarty My family has had money for ages but DH comes from a very different background. My ILs are financially comfortable now but when DH was a child they really struggled and it horrifies them that their grandchildren are growing up with money. They are very much of the "not for the likes of us" variety. They never gave DH any support through school and he ended up dropping out of uni during the first semester and a large part of that was due to living at home and not having any support.

DH left home and became very focused and has managed to build himself into his current role despite his background. I might be overly sensitive, but the ILs seem to do constant digs at us about money and get very sniffy. They hate the fact that DC are privately educated and any praise I give for the school is quickly countered by an argument for the local schools. They'll say things like, "Our children were just fine in state schools" and it's all I can do to bite my lip and not say, "You have got to be kidding me- DH failed 6th year and dropped out of uni less than 2 months in and BIL was excluded from the local school!" Now I know this is just as much to do with DH/BIL/PIL as opposed to the school, but they seem to live in some parallel universe to me a lot of the time.

I'm constantly told that they disagree with the amount of travel DC get to do and the number of activities they participate in. They view opportunities as spoiling them.

So it's difficult.