If you are minted....

[FeralBeryl]

*What is your/ partner's career or job?
*
Not a TAAT more a TIBAT (inspired by a thread)

Someone has a monthly take home pay of £11k
Not going to lie, I fully intend to suddenly obtain the necessary qualifications overnight for whatever it is. sure there'll be an online course....

I know there will have been a great deal of sacrifice, no work home balance etc. I'm not wanting to judge at all-I'm enthralled

Please.

You cannot tell me this is down to hard work alone. It is ALL about who you know, not what you know

That's quite insulting. There are plenty of people on this thread who have said they've come from very modest backgrounds and no parental wealth or connections but have worked hard and worked up the ladder.

Some people are just wired differently when it comes to work. They have a knack for networking. They are more brazen to ask for work experience or a job. They would rather turn down a fun social event with friends to go to a boring work event.
It's a decade of those small marginal gains which have given me the edge over my uni friends. Perhaps it is because I had such a shitty childhood and was so socially insecure that I felt I had nothing to lose when I pleaded for a toe hold in a way that someone with a bit more dignity might not have done.
Maybe because DH had gone to such a ropey school and no idea of social norms that he asked for pay rises like he had seen in films rather than playing the polite long game.

But it isn't fair, true or accurate to suggest that it is only from a leg up from connections. We both moved to this city knowing no one at all

corniconce which subjects are your degrees?

We are 'minted' I suppose.

I'm a farmer (well that's how I see myself, I actually own a country estate encompassing several farms and a umber of other businesses).

DW is a surgeon.

Between us we make a million a year easy, could be significantly more but it's all rather complicated for tax reasons so it's hard to put an exact figure on it.

sparechange Well done to you then, I am sure there are notable exceptions. I am just speaking form personal experience that experience, intelligence, many degrees etc don't get me anywhere because I am not confident enough to assume I am indisposable. That's my problem, I agree, but it stems from my background. And there appears to be little I can do to overcome that. I am currently unemployed and possibly unemployable. That's not a fact I can get away from easily and I am now mid 40s, so starting a new career from scratch seems unlikely.

Vanilla, many, including law (medical).

comi
Have you looked into coaching?
It is a shame your multiple universities didn't offer you coaching and career guidance to help you apply your academic qualifications to workplace skills.
But it isn't too late and there are probably a lot of people who would be willing to act as a mentor to help you match your skills with what employers are looking for. You certainly shouldn't give up given your ability and academic record

For about 18 months, my net pay was just over 11k a month. It was ridiculous. My monthly salary was the same as my mum's annual salary. It was also fabulous. I overpaid my mortgage by £3k a month, put £2k into savings and still had £6k to spend... and I was single & without children at the time so it was £6k and just me. Obviously, I didn't get close to spending that much money. I'm not sure anyone could. I was working at least 60hrs a week, often 80-90 hours so my utility bills were low as I was rarely at home, lunch was in the (free) canteen, supper was often reclaimed on expenses. What I did spend a lot on was taking shortcuts - cleaner, taxis, ordering flowers for someone's birthday as my secretary could do it (she had my credit card details) whereas going & choosing a present, wrapping it etc took time. I took my family on holiday, bought them amazing Xmas presents, took friends on weekends away when they wouldn't have been able to afford it themselves, went to do amazing bars & restaurants with friends, always my treat. I felt as though I needed to treat friends & family as, not only could I, but I was cancelling them so often, including at the very last minute.
After a while, I just couldn't keep up with the relentless hours & pace so left & took a massive pay cut.

Husband owns an IT company.

Well, I guess that's your answer corniconce - some people crumble under pressure, others don't.

For the record, I was a marketing director until about 3 years ago, then I crumbled. I've destroyed my career but I accept the fact that even though I worked bloody hard, I couldn't handle the pressure. My successor has more children than I do, is less qualified, but has a "Fuckit" attitude.

Ooh this is my kind of thread. I always want to knock on the doors of really big, lovely houses and ask them what they do for a living 😂

*We don't have a spectacular lifestyle either. Very nice home in Surrey and a home in France. Modest cars, except for DH's folly. A few investment properties and trusts for the children.

We have August in France and DH and DS ski in Feb whilst dd and I have a warm week. DC have attended independent schools and will leave uni with all fees paid.

I have a cleaner and gardener and odd job man here and in France. I work for my sanity and to keep me grounded.

Not many people would realise just how much dh earns from looking at us.*

Christ. Alive.

This is fascinating ! It's interesting what people's perception of wealth is.

Im wondering now if this is the Mumsnet demographic ?!

I'm personally not minted. Far from it! I do however have a life I like and enough to eat, pay the bills and do a few nice things.

I take 70.00 a week out of the bank, put it in a tin and that's our petrol, food and treats. (Though I go over this now and again when I'm brave enough not to worrytoo much about it!)

For me it's a mentality, If I really focused I could do much better and at some point again I will.

I don't resent people with money at all! Good for them! Life is for living and if people are decent that's all that really matters.

I think lots of people would envy my life style.   I live somewhere utterly beautiful, am surrounded by friends and family,  can buy most of my food locally produced and do lots of interesting and fun things with my DD.....and without! 

I've not got a single penny of debt and have nice enough clothes bags etc. DD has plenty.

I was thinking about retraining but I honestly at the moment have absolutely no desire to change anything much about my life!

If I had money, would I move out of my 2 bed place into somewhere bigger with a garden? Nope. Would I go on different holidays? Nope.

I'd buy wine, more and better wine. I'd go to the city more to eat and see exhibitions etc, buy more jeans more often (I've had a capsule wardrobe for about 4 years with a one in one out system - pretty much!) and eat out more. Oh and change the bloody car which is falling to bits!

For some my life would be poverty, for me, at the momen it is beautifully simple and feels 'light' if that makes sense.

Vanilla, I didn't crumble under pressure. I took time out to have children. In my field that alone counts as not being committed. Which means career over.

Yes, that's seventy pounds a week. Cash. For everything apart from bills!!!

Why three degrees? Or do you have a BA, MA and a PhD?

comiconce I'm sorry but my DH came from a very humble background. He just was born with an extraordinary brain and drive.

. It is ALL about who you know, not what you know. You can work as hard as you like, without the right connection and the right background and maybe just that start up grant from daddy, you are getting nowhere near the salary that some of you take for granted
I find this incredibly insulting. My dh's family were rural farmers and my parents owned a pub. My df was an alcoholic and I was homeless at 17. We both went to the local comp and have pretty average degrees. We now have our own business which currently brings in approximately 120k per year but due to expansion this is set to rise significantly in the next 12 months. This has come about due to hard work but also the willingness to take a risk. We both left secure, paid jobs to start up our business. It's success is down to the fact that dh is very good at his job and has built a good reputation. Literally nothing to do with connections or added help from anyone else.

It's quite hard to work out how much you'd need to earn to take home 11K a year as you start to lose your personal allowance once you earn £100K (including bonuses) and then once you earn over £150K you are on 45% tax rather than 40%. I think there is also an additional National Insurance contribution. Plus as others have said, you would be paying more into your pension.

Vanilla, Yep, close.
OhTheRoses, well, so does mine but he doesn't earn 11k a month. I obviously married the wrong man then.
Bearded, so you started up your own business with what, savings, a loan?

DH has no formal pension. Has invested in other ways because he wanted to be sure of getting his money back.

Mine doesn't earn £11k a month either

Comiconce, we both had really stable and supportive families (by and large). I think that was an immense help to both of us.

If you have intelligence and a safe supportive family, and an education, you don't really need connections. If you are on your own from 17 it is a whole lot harder. Yes you can do it - people do but it is incredibly hard and luck plays a big part in it - the right break, the right mentor, the right risk taken.

I do believe luck plays a part in life. Apparently Napoleon was asked what quality he looked for in his generals and he said "I like them to be lucky"

but with your rental properties you will make a fortune and are worth probably more than a pension OhTheRoses

Still trying to say you arent that rich. You are.

I agree with Homesbythesea - I have a husband who works in the city who is basically earning a lot but on call and I have just quit as it was all getting a little overwhelming . I agree Be careful what you wish for - -am currently planning an escape 🙂

it's best to earn these

Comiconce it isn't about who you know. My DH comes from a family where his father barely speaks English. He got extremely mediocre GCSE's and really poor A levels, a C & an E. He then did a media degree at an old poly. Following that he drove a van for a distribution company as a temp and did some data entry for them. He did a couple of other data entry jobs and taught himself to code. He then got a data input role in a small company and started working on databases. He had a couple of other database developer jobs and it was from there that he got into a development role in a blue chip.

His big break was actually into finance even though he knew nothing about finance but he got on well with the guy interviewing him who offered him the job. From there he went from earning £35k to £53k, oh we thought all our Christmases had come at once.

His next roles were about who he knew but not because of family but because he was extremely good at what he does and people want to work with him and ask for him to join them.

Today he was approached at work but a senior director who asked him to seriously consider moving to a new division. He won't because he's needed where he is and that will almost certainly translate to cash at bonus time. If his total gross salary is less than £300k plus benefits this year I'll be surprised