How firm are you with age ratings on films/games?

[BowieFan]

DS1 and DS2 are both 14 (15 in two weeks) and I've pretty much let them watch anything up to a 15 since they were about 11, as they were both sensible kids and most of the time they were watching the films with us anyway.

18 rated films are kind of an approval basis. DS1 is a horror nut and I have no issue with him seeing things like The Exorcist or Friday the 13th. Anything like 50 Shades of Grey, they'd have to come to me first to have a discussion on why it's not a healthy relationship and all that, and if they understood it I'd probably let them watch.

Games don't come up that often but I've pretty much let them have GTA and CoD since they were 12 as me and DP are both gamers and understand what they're playing. We wouldn't let them have horror games until this year though because we're aware they affect you differently to horror films.

How firm are you on age rating things?

To be honest I don't think it really matters what you do in your own home and what rules you set for age restrictions, kids (especially teens) will always find a way to watch stuff that is inappropriate and I feel the rules you set will define if they choose to tell you. We watched all sorts of stuff behind our parents backs, I remember sneaking downstairs to watch South Park with my best mate in the middle of the night.
My mother was very strict with ratings which is probably what encouraged me to watch more (and totally inappropriate) stuff in secret than friends with less rules watched anyway!

Bugger it's about respect and boundaries. I lived at home until I was 21 and wasn't allowed to bring blokes back, drink to excess, or smoke anywhere except in the garden. Legally I was old enough and I paid rent but it's my mums house and she had her standards. Which she relaxed considerably for my brothers (when I left and they each had a room they were allowed girlfriends over etc). Personally I only have bad memories of that game. I can remember it being played in the next room of my friends house. Her older brother came into the room and grabbed at my breasts so hard he left finger prints. So even the start up noise/music just gives me nasty chills.

I would like to add to my post that when I was a kid we had to get really inventive to watch what we weren't allowed to. Now kids can just find this stuff easily online and tech savvy kids will know how to get around parent blockers it's not really that difficult

CheddarisnottheonlyCheese

14 is not "little kids" and neither is a 12 year old.

0urKid

So you're basing your hatred of a game because one person who assaulted you played it? I'm sorry that happened to you, but surely you realise that you're letting your experiences influence your decisions and that the boy who did that to you was probably not actually influenced by that game at all.

That line of thinking (linking every violent act to a film or game) is what led to Video Nasties, none of which had anything to do with violent acts. Simply put, any time you let personal experiences influence your decisions, you're not going to be objective.

People do get incredibly defensive about this. I wonder if it's because deep down they know that 9 year olds shouldn't be watching GOT and 12 year olds shouldn't be playing GTA but have to justify their position............

Bertrand absolutely

I mean, why? Just why? What does it add to your child's knowledge of the world? Their emotional development? Fuck all. So it's just for fun? Well I'd rather not raise a child to believe that violence and sexual assault is "fun". As adults we can process those topics in a number of different ways, but children can't, and moreover, they shouldn't have to

Not very strict. Similar to OP. Have never regretted letting them see anything.

Bowie they are children. I agree with pp that if a tech savvy child wants to play or watch something they'll find a way around it. I watched Pulp Fiction when I was 13. My friend smuggled her older brothers video out of the house because I was desperate to watch it. What didn't happen is my mum going to blockbuster, renting it out, buying a shed load of snacks and then settling me down to it. That would've been wrong.

I have read that some schools and local authorities would consider children viewing and playing age inappropriate material as a potential red flag for that could trigger further investigation if their home life. Anyone know how true this is?

Agree with your last post Bertrand.

Sorry OP I agree with you to a point but a child shouting "your mother sucks cocks in hell" is not a moral or religious subtext.

Bowiefan Again, I was told "I don't want them watching any films about poofs." I'm sorry, but that's wrong.

It's not wrong, it's parental choice. It's something that teachers have to put up with. I teach a subject where kids could be and are regularly were withdrawn from my lessons because of the subject matter. The parents were happy with me as the form tutor for their child, and for the other humanities class I taught them, but they would not countenance their child being in an RE class, so they withdrew them . It wasn't my decision to make, it was theirs.

Bowie you said at 10:03 "I grew up watching them and I've turned out fine"

but then at 12:01 told ourkid that she was wrong to let personal experiences influence her decision on what to let her children watch and play.

How do you reconcile those two lines of argument?

To be honest Bowiefan, you sound as if you enjoy breaking the rules a bit.

It's not a great quality.

Children are not adults. They form an idea of how the world works and society's rules by observing parents, peers, media, etc. There is research on the effect of media on children of different ages. You might overview the media and decide if you are ok with certain content, but just overruling the whole rating and allowing kids to play games or watch films without checking them... idk... I wouldn't do it. Some kids might have enough discussions about the topic, as to understand is not a representation of reality. Some kids might not grasp it no matter how many talks. Some might form wrong ideas. Some might be affected at subconscious level... I used to play COD and I was quite shocked at what I was hearing over the mic. It's not just the game that they play, it's the people giving them abuse online because they might not have certain level, play in a certain way or just have certain nickname. I'm not just talking about the language used, which wasn't good, but all the stuff they say to each other. Plus playing violent games several hours a week normalises it and reduces our response to it. Mental health issues, anxiety, sleeping disorders and depression have rised between children and young people dramatically in the last decade. Not blaming media exclusively, but it's part of the problem. We all excuse our behaviour as parents, but we should all have a rethink sometimes. I'm guilty of giving them too much TV, to be fair, even if it's only CBBC.

Bowiefan is just sooo right on compared to us squares

I work with teachers with that attitude, it's ever so fun when I'm trying to mop the kids off the floor in the behavioural unit

Oh stop being a sheeple, Bugger..........

I don't think this kind of rule breaking is wrong per second but age ratings are there as a short cut really - parents who disagree with the rating can only do so responsibly by prewatching / preplaying everything and making a decision based on that.

Bowie does seem to preplay the games and watch many of the film's, so that is more responsible in many ways than blindly and mindlessly accepting ratings (which works both ways - not every 12 rated film is appropriate for every 12 year old etc and some PGs aren't actually that child suitable).

The issue seems to be though that Bowie's idea of what is suitable at what age is wildly different from average, I suppose it brings parental judgement into question.

Bowie do you let your kids' friends play 18 rated games and watch 18 rated horror films at your house?

*per se not per second

I don't know NickiFury.

I do know that the only 13 year old that I know for a fact watches GoT does have SS involvement, but it's part of a wider picture of the parent being too overwhelmed to know or care what their kid is up to. I don't think they were referred specifically for it tho.

Very shocked that anyone would settle down of an evening to watch it with their 9 year old. Assuming that wasn't a troll, then you really need to take a look at your (lack of) standards.

I know lots of children who watch GoT but I don't watch it so have no idea how bad it is! I see it everywhere though people are obsessed (says the fully grown adult woman genuinely sad about this being the final season of pretty little liars ha!)

GoT always makes me wonder when I see it referenced on here because I haven't watched the TV adaption but have read the first couple of books and had to stop because they became so horrific with the sheer scale and frequency of the gang rapes, sexual violence, sexual murders and graphic descriptions of violence against children and the brutal murders and mutilation of children.

I assume the TV version must be different from the books?

This site has the Teacher advise and guidelines for showing films of higher ratings.

Such as

.t is not actually illegal for schools to show BBFC-rated videos or DVDs or Blu-ray to its pupils of any age, just as parents may also chose to show any material to children in the home. Merely showing an age restricted film to underaged persons - or allowing them to see one outside a licensed cinema - is not in itself an offence.

We would, however, strongly discourage such a practice unless
(a) the children in question are only a year or so below the age stated on the certificate, and
(b) there is a serious educational purpose to showing the recording (eg showing well-known works or educational films such as 15 rated Schindler's List to 14 year old GCSE students).

Even in such cases clearly schools should seek parental consent prior to showing it.
We would also recommend obtaining the approval of the Head Teacher and Governors. It is vital to make sure that any children watching are not likely to suffer any ill effects as a result of seeing the film.

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Year 8 are up to 3 years too young to see a 15 film so this is really not advised, and certainly not for the film in its entirety without a specially edited version.

5more the GoT books are very, very violent. I'm on book 3 and I enjoy them because the violence is in the cultural context of the world created by the author, but it is disturbing subject matter. The TV series is toned down for the most part, but still very violent and no, I would not let my DDs watch it. We absolutely do restrict their viewing and games consumption, it's just that we don't adhere to age ratings without thinking and assessing for ourselves alongside. So my DDs have seen Deadpool and Kingsman and Suicide Squad, but there are also films above their age that we absolutely would not let them see. It's on a case by case basis. I would not want them to see the Exorcist - it is a great film, but the level of emotional violence is too intense. The 18 rating for that one should absolutely stand.

As for games - they do tend to be very immersive and played more in isolation so I would be stricter on that than on films. As said upthread, my DDs are not gamers so we are lucky in that sense.