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Original poster

How firm are you with age ratings on films/games?

291 replies

BowieFan · 13/10/2016 21:11

DS1 and DS2 are both 14 (15 in two weeks) and I've pretty much let them watch anything up to a 15 since they were about 11, as they were both sensible kids and most of the time they were watching the films with us anyway.

18 rated films are kind of an approval basis. DS1 is a horror nut and I have no issue with him seeing things like The Exorcist or Friday the 13th. Anything like 50 Shades of Grey, they'd have to come to me first to have a discussion on why it's not a healthy relationship and all that, and if they understood it I'd probably let them watch.

Games don't come up that often but I've pretty much let them have GTA and CoD since they were 12 as me and DP are both gamers and understand what they're playing. We wouldn't let them have horror games until this year though because we're aware they affect you differently to horror films.

How firm are you on age rating things?

OP posts:
ICancelledTheCheque · 13/10/2016 22:31

DS12 (nearly 13) is allowed to play Skyrim (15) but not GTA or COD. Games up to a 15 are largely okay, and he's not daft so he knows it isn't real.

Movies I'm a bit more funny about. I was watching 18s at 12/13 which wasnt good for me. I vet the 12A films before any of the kids are allowed to watch them.

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 13/10/2016 22:46

Imdb gives a parents guide on films. It will describe in some detail the violence and sex scenes and how many times particular swear words are used. It might be a bit spoilery but is quite useful to be able to assess content more accurately than just looking at the certification.
I'm quite surprised what gets through as a 12a - James Bond springs to mind as one that isn't appropriate for very young children. The cynic in me thinks that certification was created to allow parents to get to the cinema without having to get a sitter!

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 13/10/2016 22:46

We use the ratings a guide, and keep an eye out for stuff that needs more care. I agree that ratings are based on certain criteria which might not match up with mine. I couldn't give a fuck about a healthy use of appropriate swearing, but I don't like sexual exploitation and random violence.
My oldest doesn't get distressed by things that I couldn't bear even now, so we try to assess for him (wimp!) not me. DH keeps an eye on reviews of games to get an idea of their content.

BabyGanoush · 13/10/2016 22:48

Bowiefan, good question.

I must have researched it at the time (I always watch footage on yourube, read common sense media)

I am strict, but not for strictness sake. My 11 yr old is surely too young for it though?

Istandinpause · 13/10/2016 22:53

We have no shooter games in the house ever. I just don't like my children getting off on shooting people - I don't care how stylised the violence is. Film ratings, I'm fine on swearing, drug taking and consensual sex, not so keen on violence but it tends to be on a case by case basis.

Original poster
BowieFan · 13/10/2016 22:57

Yes, 11 might be on the young side for CoD, depending on which one you're talking about. I wouldn't let an 11 year old play World at War which is bloody terrifying and horrifying - it really does show the horrors of war. I wouldn't have an issue with them playing Modern Warfare or Black Ops III though which are futuristic and some of them have laser weapons so are very unrealistic. Advanced Warfare is great, I've no idea how it got such a high age rating because it's basically a sci-fi film and even has Kevin Spacey in it.

GTA is trickier though I'll agree. We didn't let DS1 and DS2 play Vice City until this year because of the fact it is basically about the coke industry. But we had no issues with the others. San Andreas got blown out of proportion with the sex game thing - the media never reported that you had to modify the game (bloody tricky to do) to get to that hidden sex game, so most kids weren't at risk.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 13/10/2016 23:00

I was very firm about misogyny and gratuitous sexual violence. So no Game of Thrones or GTA. Fortunately the child concerned is now 15 and as outraged by that sort of stuff as I am. Never had much of a problem with swearing or "ordinary" sexual content. Always wary of violence. Very conscious, particularly with ds, of the attitudes he was being exposed to in the media.

Original poster
BowieFan · 13/10/2016 23:01

Istandinpause

Why though? Our kids love shooter games but we've always taken steps to make sure they realise that games aren't reality and things you do in games aren't acceptable in the real world. Like I said, CoD is so unrealistic it's hardly worrying.

Plus, and this might be a skewed way of thinking, but I actually think it's valuable for teens to understand that war exists and is something that happens a lot. We could be plunged into a state of war at any moment and they may be forced to do things that they won't like. I've always made a point of telling them when they play CoD that the missions are based on what the characters think is the best option - which may not feel right to the player - but that is the only option they have at that time.

My kids have turned out fine, really. There's been no links whatsoever in 40 years of video gaming that violent games have any impact on a child at all.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 13/10/2016 23:03

If you want your children to learn about war the News is on every day.

Original poster
BowieFan · 13/10/2016 23:07

BertrandRussell

I don't like those things either. That's why when they were watching Game of Thrones at 13, I made it clear that this was a fantasy world based on the middle ages when that kind of treatment of women was acceptable, but it's not acceptable now. Same with GTA - the kids are aware that the characters are scumbags and criminals, which is why they treat the women the way they do - because they are horrible people. They know it's not acceptable to do the things in the games.

My DS is very "right-on" with his politics and stuff like that, and yet he loves James Bond. Why? Because he understands that you can like a novel, or a film or a game and know that the character is a scumbag. They realise that you can empathise with a character despite them being a murderer. I was so proud of DS1 when he told me why he loved Psycho as a film. He brilliantly said that it was good because the director made you like a murderer - you understood why he was the way he was. You wanted him to get arrested, obviously, but you felt sorry for him in a way, he'd been affected by those around him.

I think if you protect kids too much from these things, they're in danger of not having a clue about things like that. I suppose me being an English teacher means I'm in a better position to be able to break down media with the kids and we can talk about the meaning behind things and how stuff makes you feel.

Kids are having to read far worse stuff as part of their school work - To Kill a Mockingbird is pretty harrowing in places. I don't see why books are treated differently.

OP posts:
Original poster
BowieFan · 13/10/2016 23:12

BertrandRussell

Yes, it is. And they see that.

But they aren't in the position of "am I right to blow up this insurgent?" "Do I have the right to take that person's life?" "is this for the good of the side I am fighting for?" etc.

After playing CoD World at War my DS went to his granddad and they had a huge chat about it. My DS said he had never realised what his granddad had gone through fighting during the war (his granddad was only 15 in 1944 and fought in the Bulgarian resistance against the Nazis) but playing the game had made him realise just how awful that war was. And, considering his granddad was only a year older than him when he was fighting, he couldn't believe how strong he must have been, as DS found the game tough going in places.

I think that is an incredibly powerful thing and it has allowed DS1 and DS2 to understand their granddad's reluctance to talk about his experiences and his refusal to wear a poppy much more.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 13/10/2016 23:15

" I suppose me being an English teacher means I'm in a better position to be able to break down media with the kids and we can talk about the meaning behind things and how stuff makes you feel."

Yeah, sure. Unlike the rest of us unthinking clods............Grin

Hope you're not still teaching "To Kill a Mockingbird" by the way- I think it'/ been off the syllabus for a while.

JellyBelli · 13/10/2016 23:16

You know your own child; the ratings on the box are a guideline because they have to draw the line somewhere.
I wasnt influenced by age ratings at all, I went by content. DS was a softy, wept uncontrollably at stuff like Free Willy and ET, and slaughtered Nazi Zombies with glee.

DixieNormas · 13/10/2016 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistresssIggi · 13/10/2016 23:23

Why not CoD? GTA I can vaguely understand, but your kids will be old enough to join the actual army in 2 years time, so playing it on the XBOX wouldn't kill them
As a point of fact children cannot fight in the army at 16, you cannot be deployed till 18.
I don't think anyone is saying inappropriate games will kill them, are they? But that does not been they can do no harm.

LyndaNotLinda · 13/10/2016 23:31

Ironic that you think your children aren't old enough to make sensible decisions about drugs or alcohol but can about film and video games.

loveyouradvice · 13/10/2016 23:38

for me its all about why they have certain ratings - swearing and sex are fine by me (mostly) but violence, especially very graphic and against women, is a real no no.... so my DD 14 has been watching 15s since she was 11 or so.... but I'll be much more cautious with 18s.....

Games a whole other matter... a minefield, literally

EatsShitAndLeaves · 13/10/2016 23:46

We take the view that the ratings are a guideline.

We have let the kids see films significantly above the rating vs their age BUT only when we have seen them first and feel able to judge the appropriateness in the context of that child's maturity at the time. On one occasion we allowed a film to be watched with the cavet that we "edited out" a couple of scenes.

I'd also agree with PP's that the reason for the rating is a big factor. Bad language is less of a concern than sexual content and/or extreme violence.

cathaka15 · 13/10/2016 23:48

My 16 year old is studying film in college and his teachers are asking them to watch 18 rated films. A bit annoyed at first.
He's watched pulp fiction and silence of the lambs already. Shock
Two films I loved but found really hard to watch. Didn know if I wanted my Ds to be exposed to that so early. Those ratings are there for a reason.

Woody67 · 13/10/2016 23:50

Bertandrussell. To kill a mockingbird is still on the syllabus, my son had to buy his school a replacement copy last year when in year 10 for defacing his copy!

Mcchickenbb41 · 14/10/2016 06:37

I'm strict too. But dd 12 is very sensitive, scares easily ( this clown rubbish is causing sleepless nights ) and I don't think she's a mature 12 if that makes sense. I really think it depends on the child so I'm certainly not going to slate other parents. Tbh my main concern isn't films it's the Internet. Now that is locked down lol !

wannabestressfree · 14/10/2016 06:52

Just as a point I am an English teacher also and my students yesterday found alistar sims' Scrooge much scarier than most films they watch normally, as they do 'an inspector calls'
I have to say as a parent I found COD much worse than GTA..... but I put the parental controls on most games and also ds1 who is 19 will say what games are like.

BabyGanoush · 14/10/2016 07:09

To kill a mockingbird deals with rape, racism andmental health problems, violence, yes it is pretty full on and I have not given it to DC to read yet.

14 yr old has just read "of mice and men" and was shocked by it.

I think my 14 yr old is mature enough yo read/play most things but mysogynist crap like gta just won't enter my house.

My 11 year old is very sensitive and cries at the news (I try yo hide it from him, still) and gets upset at 12 movies so I have to be much more careful with him.

It depends on the child...

Some games/movies are really nasty though. Much more so than they used to be.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 14/10/2016 07:10

I'm surprised at the number of parents on here who disregard ratings. We have a blanket ban on games with older ratings than my dcs' ages - partly to save argument tbh, but also because we think ratings are there for a reason and often too liberal tbh. I'm a bit astonished that people are dressing up letting their young teenagers play games where you step into the role of someone carrying out killings as educating them about war Hmm There are other ways of doing that.

Films, we use judgement (although films considerably above our dcs' age in rating are unlikely to get our approval). I can't wait to show them Brassed Off, for example, but it's a 15 - we're holding back for the 11yo atm because of the suicide attempt scene, but we certainly won't wait until he's 15.

EdithWeston · 14/10/2016 07:46

"Hope you're not still teaching "To Kill a Mockingbird" by the way- I think it'/ been off the syllabus for a while."

Off the exam syllabus - it can still be taught. Indeed I hope it is as most schools will have copies and won't be teaching only the expected year 11 exam texts from year 7 onwards.

And the reason they 'don't just turn it off' is because it's done with a peer group and it's simple disinclination to be the one to wimp out.

Blaming parents for choosing to enforce age guidelines is way more acceptable that admitting own anxiety. And is sufficiently common for it to pass without particular note with peers. But that does rest on the assumption that most parents will be attentive to their DC's well-being and the effect of screen time on that (even though the same level of attention can produce a completely different set of permissions for different DC).