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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How firm are you with age ratings on films/games?

291 replies

BowieFan · 13/10/2016 21:11

DS1 and DS2 are both 14 (15 in two weeks) and I've pretty much let them watch anything up to a 15 since they were about 11, as they were both sensible kids and most of the time they were watching the films with us anyway.

18 rated films are kind of an approval basis. DS1 is a horror nut and I have no issue with him seeing things like The Exorcist or Friday the 13th. Anything like 50 Shades of Grey, they'd have to come to me first to have a discussion on why it's not a healthy relationship and all that, and if they understood it I'd probably let them watch.

Games don't come up that often but I've pretty much let them have GTA and CoD since they were 12 as me and DP are both gamers and understand what they're playing. We wouldn't let them have horror games until this year though because we're aware they affect you differently to horror films.

How firm are you on age rating things?

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Mummyoflittledragon · 14/10/2016 13:51

Oh I didn't answer the question. Dd is allowed to see some 12's including 12A. Dh and I will take a view on certain 15 films but not for a few years yet.

BusyBeez99 · 14/10/2016 13:55

I check the films first to see what they are about. 12/12A since DS was 9 but some still aren't suitable or he would get bored so what's the point.

However I am quite strict with Ps games. He isnt allowed to play COD for example.

BusyBeez99 · 14/10/2016 13:55

Watched The Fifth Wave last weekend with him and it's a 15 but way less scary then Harry Potter.

LogicallyLost · 14/10/2016 13:58

I've never had issue with the GTA games as they're very very cartoony in their violence and the sexual stuff is pretty easily avoided. People who have issue with them don't seem to have actually played them.

Sorry but that's crap. In GTA V Trevors treatment of women and sex scenes are not cartoony and i don't believe you can avoid the torture mini game which is part of the storyline.

TBH though it's your kids, mess them up as you see fit just as long as you don't join brigade who want to ban these games that the ratings say kids shouldn't play.

ParadiseCity · 14/10/2016 14:00

I check ratings and Imdb- also it depends on time of day and location. Harry Potter at home in the morning is much less scary than Harry Potter in the cinema then straight home to bed.

Also, I will never live in a house with anyone who owns a copy of GTA. It's not big it's not clever and they are plenty of other ways to entertain yourself.

insan1tyscartching · 14/10/2016 14:17

Dd 13 is very sensitive and she also has ASD, I don't have to enforce ratings because she does that herself. I can think of very few 12a films she has wanted to see, most of interest to her seem to be PG. She's not big on gaming but she has nothing rated over a 12. We have controls on internet access too.
Dd is even finding parts of the school curriculum traumatic Oedipus Rex, Holocaust, WW1 etc etc it's been really tough so far and school are having to offer alternative texts and topics when necessary.

itsmine · 14/10/2016 14:18

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DotForShort · 14/10/2016 14:29

Guidelines can be useful as a rough gauge of age appropriateness. For me, swearing or drug use wouldn't be a deal-breaker if the film was worth watching for other reasons. Ditto sexual innuendo. As a child, I watched some films with very adult banter but the sexual content of the language sailed over my head.

Violence is something else entirely. The level of violence we see in contemporary films can be so extreme, as is the disturbing habit of salaciously lingering over images of extreme violence. That is not something I want to see, but as an adult I can choose to look away or turn off the film, and even roll my eyes at the cynical filmmakers who include such scenes to attract viewers. However, a child may not have the self-control or self-awareness to avoid such images. I would worry a great deal about the problem of desensitising children to violence. If they don't bat an eye when they see violent images, that would concern me greatly.

ParadiseCity · 14/10/2016 14:32

Agree re violence. Especially human to human violence. Superhero to alien violence is preferable here iyswim.

BowieFan · 14/10/2016 15:06

ParadiseCity

Enjoy limiting yourself then. Have you actually played GTA? There's a reason they are consistently considered to be the best games of all time. They are amazingly detailed with lots of little gags, the research they do is incredible and I've never played a game where when driving from one side of the city to another, it actually felt like you were making the journey in real time - GTA has done that.

If all you do is believe what the media tells you, then that's a shame.

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ParadiseCity · 14/10/2016 15:09

I'll try to enjoy my limited little life without playing the best game in the whole wide world ever Hmm

BowieFan · 14/10/2016 15:13

itsmine

Except I'm not a thick parent, nor would I show an 18 to a group of children. I have, sometimes, shown a 15 with permission from their parents if I felt the film was important enough that they should see it.

The guidelines are just that - guidelines. I think the BBFC are great but even they say it's your own decision. The only point of the ratings is for purchasing films. If you feel your child is able to handle a 15 or an 18, then that is up to you.

Like I said, Pride is a perfect example of this. It's a 15 purely because of a scene set in a leather club (no nudity), a dildo being on a table in one scene and the fact they say the word "fuck" about 4 times. To me, it's such an important film that I didn't have to think twice about showing it to my then 12 year old sons.

I showed it to my Year 8s this year as well. Had to get permission from the parents, all of whom agreed except for one parent who thought I was pushing a "gay agenda" despite us reading a book that was about the Miners Strike and Brassed Off/Pride being two films that show different sides of the same coin and one of them is based on a little known true story. The parent also said the ratings should be enforced. I felt so sorry for that kid who completely missed out on such an important film because of their parent being homophobic and unable to actually believe that a teacher might know better than them about the suitability of a film.

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itsmine · 14/10/2016 15:14

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BowieFan · 14/10/2016 15:15

ParadiseCity

It's limiting to say you'll never have it in your house. Do you have kids? A partner? Do they enjoy living under your thumb or are they allowed to think independently? If your kids become adults and live at home, do you still think it's OK to dictate what they can buy or consume with their own money? If someone said "I won't let my wife watch Loose Women in this house because I think it's sexist towards men," you'd probably rip him to shreds.

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itsmine · 14/10/2016 15:18

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exexpat · 14/10/2016 15:19

Film ratings can be pretty nonsensical: e.g. Gremlins is a 15, but Jaws is a PG, for example (though I think the 12a rating wasn't around when Gremlins came out).

DD, 13, was desperate to see Suicide Squad when it came out this year but it was rated 15. She looks old enough but obviously would not have had ID if challenged. We happened to notice it was showing when we were on holiday in Amsterdam, where it was rated 12, so we went. I think the 12 rating there is a 'hard' 12, like the 15 rating here, rather than 12a, which means you can get 4-year-olds in the cinema, and I can see that Suicide Squad is not appropriate for 4-year-olds, but was fine for a 13-year-old.

Maybe I shouldn't mention that DD is a massive Walking Dead fan (18-rated).

itsmine · 14/10/2016 15:21

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ParadiseCity · 14/10/2016 15:22

Luckily the people who share my house are like me - a) capable of independent thought and b) don't enjoy misogynist pass times.

Agree you sound naive and not sure why you started the thread if you are so convinced you are an excellent parent.

gamerwidow · 14/10/2016 15:37

It depends on the reason for the rating DD(6) could watch some 12s or 15s because the reason for the high rating would go over her head. I.e. Innuendo, swearing. Violence or severe peril or strong sex scenes wouldn't be allowed to be watched though because they would cause anxiety or be inappropriately adult in theme.

scaryteacher · 14/10/2016 16:23

I was strict with ds, especially about games.

Bowiefan The parent had a right to refuse, and could have seen the film and decided it wasn't suitable for their child, who they would know better than you.

user1471439727 · 14/10/2016 16:26

You sound like a great parent OP.

Of course the ratings are there for guidelines, but you have to judge on the maturity of the child. An 18 might be rated so purely because of gratuitous swearing, whereas a TV drama might seem OK, but contain gratuitous gore. But both could be OK, depending on the child.

A measured approach is whats needed. How will someone deal with the real world if they have to be 18 before they're exposed to anything with remotely adult themes? I think stunting young people's maturity is dangerous.

Sometimes I think those who take the ratings strictly are guilty of lazy parenting. Know your child and know the sort of thing they can deal with. Would you not allow a 17 year old who can drive to watch The Godfather or Alien just because they don't turn 18 for another few months? It's an arbitrary line.

itsmine · 14/10/2016 16:38

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insan1tyscartching · 14/10/2016 16:51

Well today at school the RE teacher took the decision that the dvd he was showing wasn't appropriate for dd so she sat out. It has to be down to individual children and common sense I suppose. I don't imagine that the RE dvd would be a 15 rating even but it would be more than dd could cope with.

BowieFan · 14/10/2016 16:51

Scaryteacher

Oh I know they had the right to refuse and I was completely fine with that. It was the "gay agenda" thing that got my back up. I also met with the parent in person and asked if they would consider watching the film themselves first and then deciding and if not, would they take my word that, based on all of their work so far (showing an incredibly advanced vocabulary and thought process), their child would be OK with the film?

Again, I was told "I don't want them watching any films about poofs."

I'm sorry, but that's wrong. That child missed out because they were not able to watch the film. It was clear the parent didn't want them watching something involving gay people, regardless of the content (which was described in detail for parents who couldn't watch it before the kids).

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theITgirl · 14/10/2016 16:54

I also stick roughly to the age ratings, unless DS can show me the IMDb site and convince me otherwise.

However there were some 15 rated films that he was allowed to watch when he was 3 or 4 - till he learnt to read. Because the language in the subtitles was inappropriate.

He used to love the car driving scenes though.
One of the taxi films (staring Luc Lesson) was OK as it was brought in France so had no subtitles!!