To not understand where I am going wrong?

[PeppaAteMySoul]

My 3 year old DS has always been tall and chunky. Has been on the 90th percentile pretty much since birth. He weighs 18kg and is 106cm tall. NHS children bmi calculator tells me that's bad. Visited my GP for advice who told me not to worry about his weight as I'm doing all the right things. I am worried though.

He walks to and from his playgroup every day (that's 2.2 miles) and is reasonably active when he gets home.

I've been keeping a food diary for him and for example yesterday it went something like:
Breakfast:
Bowl of porridge with teaspoon of jam stirred in. Half a banana.
Snack: Fruit at nursery.
Lunch: Half a Pitta bread, half a raw carrot chopped into sticks, few sticks of cucumber, half an apple, teaspoon of hummus. Kids yoghurt.
Dinner: Small bowl of vegetarian sausage casserole. Few slices of garlic bread. Kiwi chopped up.

I know I could cut out the jam in the porridge and the yoghurt as both are full of sugar. What else though? I've been told my portion sizes are fine on here and by GP. I'm so worried I'm letting him down. He is noticeably bigger than his friends at nursery. Me and his father are both naturally slim- I'm a size 6/8- so it can't be a genetic thing. It must be something I'm doing wrong. I'm about tp have another baby and upset I will make the same mistakes with this child as well.

[Boosiehs]

My DS varies during the day massively. when he wakes up he looks so skinny his stomach is concave and his ribs are really prominent back and front.

By bed time he has a little pot belly.

Maybe try to stop worrying and just make sure he gets plenty of exercise? I treat mine like a labrador and make sure he gets plenty of walks/runs/games outdoors and swimming etc. and the odd biscuit/ice cream.

[PeppaAteMySoul]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and huge. As I dropped him off at nursery this morning a parent looked at DS looked at my bump and said "Wow you make big children." In my oversensitive hormonal state I got really upset and took a making general chitchat comment as a dig at me/ my parenting/ my son.

Thank you everyone for stopping me worrying. Will just keep doing what I'm doing and wait until he has a growth spurt/ slims down.

[MrsKoala]

DS2 is 98th centile for both height and weight and the BMI calculator puts him at obese. He was born on the 98th centile for both height and weight and I think that is completely fine. He is a healthy boy and in perfect proportion. Anyone who told me he was obese would get told to go fuck themselves. Politely.

DH is a massive man and i am a large statured woman (5ft 10 and very broad shouldered/big boned). He isn't going to be a small boy. We have been told if he carries on his trajectory he will be over 6ft 4in, which pretty much tallies with our family trend. DS1 is also big and should be over 6ft 2in. BMI is not right for everyone. Even when i am a size 12 i am at a 27 BMI and god knows what DH is. We do lots of exercise tho.

[BittyWanter]

Good description boos...our ds's need a run out at least once a day like our dog

[ijustwannadance]

My DD came out looking about 4 months old!
You make healthy happy babies op. Ignore the daft comments. I had one woman tell me once that my DD shouldn't be playing in the toddler bit at a park because she was too old to be around the little ones. She had face when it turned out her delicate flower was 6 months older than mine!

[GinIsIn]

Firstly, BMI is just not accurate. When not pregnant I'm a size 10 at 5'4, with a 26" waist. Fat according to my BMI though.

In this relatively short thread, you have mentioned eating issues you have thanks to your DPs, and that you eat 'like a sparrow' and the same amount as a 3 year old. In the gentlest possible way, it doesn't seem like you have a completely balanced view of food, and your DS is probably fine. Please try to stop worrying about it - the GP has said he's fine, he's fine.

[1potato2potato3potato4]

My DN was always bigger then his peers, he is now a super fit teen, very interested in health and nutrition and in the teen training bit (I don't know what it's called) of a professional rugby team.
I really don't think you need to worry, everything sounds fine and people have different builds.
You say you and his father are both slim, are you tall?

[nokidshere]

My youngest has always been on the 98th centile, he was like a little buddah at 2 and quite rounded until about 12. Always a good eater, very active etc etc but always showed up as overweight on any charts."

He's now 15, growing rapidly (he's just short of 6"2) and like a stick insect - even his skinny jeans are loose on him!

Try not to worry. As long as he is active and has a healthy diet he will even out over time

[MrsKoala]

Ijustwanna, we got loads of 'don't worry about his delayed speech, lots don't say much till after 3' when both my boys were just 18mo.

[DailyMailPenisPieces]

Very insensitive of the other parent. He sounds fine and his diet sounds healthy. He will soon stretch out.

[LadyMoth]

The trouble with this BMI obsession and panic over childhood obesity is, while it is an issue, it can ignore that some children are just of a chunkier build and still perfectly healthy. It's a very blunt instrument. If GP says he's fine, I'd go with that.

Can't believe that people make comments like that, have they no clue that they could make him self-conscious about weight?

[MillionToOneChances]

I'd be comcerned about nutrition because it doesn't sound like he gets much protein, but the quantities look ok. My DS was a proper chunky monkey through reception and turned into a beanpole when he was 6. Trust your GP.

[LadyMoth]

(I'm also borderline overweight according to BMI, so I've always worried about that. But when I took my very skinny DS for a DCD assessment the doc said his tall and slim build was obviously genetic (looking at me) and not a worry! So a Dr thinks I'm tall and slim to look at, but BMI says I'm not. It's really confusing. I'm large-framed and muscular so that's probably where the weight comes from. I was also a chunky child until about 12.)

[Itmustbemyage]

I had opposite problem with my youngest DS, extremely tall and thin very sporty though I can't remember the percentiles but basically top for height but just under average for weight. Took him to a nutritionist, was told to give him calorie rich food it made no difference he still stayed like a stick.
I was extremely thin as a child wish that was my problem now whereas my DH was on the chunky side fine now everyone develops at a different rate.
My DS is gradually filling out now (late teens). Please don't let your own issues affect your children, believe the Dr when he says everything is fine.
Ignore other parents.

[Lazyafternoon]

Peppa just ignore what everyone says when commenting in passing, it's usually complete twoddle. They've no clue. But more importantly it doesn't matter.

[Maursh]

What does he have to drink? Cut out all fruit juice which is now thought to be responsible for wide-spread obesity in children in the US. Fruit is fine, since it contains fibre which counteracts the fruit sugars.

[Helpisathand13]

If he is happy and healthy, good diet and regular exercise no problem. We aren't all built the same and one size defo does not fit all. Enjoy your precious time with him doing fun happy things and creating lovely memories and experiences together as a family. Try not to be sensitive about his weight and brush off the negative comments of others. X

[GoodGirlGoneWrong]

My dc1 who is 4 is 124cm tall and weighs 26.5kg, has been classed as over weight, previously by a busy body health visitor. The 26.5kg has only gone up by 0.5kg in 6 months but height has gone up 3cm roughly. Dc had evened out well, puppy fat has gone and you can now see ribs etc. All of us are active has a family (I'm on slimming world as a bout of steroids has seen me gain a massive amount of weight) we walk the dogs 2/3 miles, bike rides, swimming lessons and dance lessons.

My advice is to stop worrying, if your gp has said everything is ok don't panic, when I saw the doctor I was told to keep the weight roughly the same and review in 6 months hey presto it's all evened although very tall for age (DH is just under 6 foot I'm 5,10 and both her grandads are/were over 6'5)

Your not going wrong! Every child is different my dc2 is tiny for age 2 nearly 3 weights below average and is not even 100 cm tall yet, nothing wrong just smaller!

[Saltedcaramel2016]

His diet looks fine. Please don't cut anything out as he does a lot of exercise and he would be too tired to do it if you did. Believe the doctor and ignore the charts.

Just looked in son's red book - at 3.5 years he was 104cm tall and 18kg - so shorter than your son but the same weight. He was always a bit chunky but nothing outrageous, just nice chubby cheeks and slightly rounded which is normal for that age. He is 12 now and really tall and athletic, he has no fat on him at all and is really healthy.

[ijustwannadance]

MrsKoala, I think most people who comment either have no clue about children or live in a bubble were their own child is the ideal. (in their opinion!)

I perfected the fake smile and nod. Only pissed me off when people said things direct to DD. When she was younger some busybody in a supermarket asked her why she wasn't in school. She gave the face and told them it was because she was 3 and too young to go to school.

Worked out well when we went to a theme park though, she was made up to be tall enough for the bigger rides!

[PeppaAteMySoul]

I have always eaten tiny portions. I never really get hungry. My parents used to force me to eat all of my food which just made me stressed/ anxious. I know I need to relax so my son doesn't pick up on anything from me. Thank you everyone. Also because I'm so tiny (around 5 foot and very slim) maybe that colours my view of normal. Will ignore other parents.

[PeppaAteMySoul]

And for those who have commented on lack of protein he has a vegetarian diet. Does eat dairy, pulses and beans, nuts, tofu, quote products so thought that would be okay?

[LemonBreeland]

You've already had some good advice, but you are worries about him being weighed in reception. You know you don't have to agree to him being weighed if you don't want to?

[TheHubblesWindscreenWipers]

His diet looks fine. If your GP isn't worried then you shouldn't be. Even at that age they are all just very different shapes and builds. My ds looks like a little waif next to all the healthy strapping toddlers and I worry about that too... but he's ok.
Just keep encouraging healthy food and plenty of activity and do t get hung up on the odd snack or treat - everything in moderation. Lots of kids are chunky. Both me and my brother were then we suddenly grew and we're super skinny .

I say this kindly but it's possible you're projecting your own food issues onto your child - please be really careful

[Hoppinggreen]

My 7 year old son weighs the same as his 11 year old sister and there isn't an ounce of fat on him - he is solid muscle.
He wears age 9-10 clothes and is very tall with size 4 feet and will never get in a pair of skinnny jeans ( thank God) . I never weigh him as I can see he is fit and healthy but
If you know your son has a healthy diet and gets exercise and is fine as, confirmed by your GP, then don't worry about it.